Song remains Anon: half the fun of these is seeing what not-the-obvious answer you come up with. Though time travel when nothing has gone wrong/can be fixed is an unusual take on the trope XD

jacksgreysays:

Oh thank god. I’m just like… crap, there was a reference. Oh god. Why. End me now.

I’m glad my tangential brainstorms are entertaining, anon, because otherwise it’s just me ranting at myself and gesturing at my screen to nobody. 🙂

Time travel is my not-so-secret favorite trope and while I do love seeing it played out normally, I am especially fond of it when there are tweaks. Or when it’s not just a formulaic “do this instead of this and the future is saved.” There was no end of the world for Gaara to fix and there was no path for him to divert. Just the knowledge that things won’t stay the same.

Also, I not-so-secretly love sad things. 😀

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Kinda? Well. I haven’t really thought about it too much considering it is an AU so far outside of canon that there is no easy one-to-one adaptation for it.

I mean it’s just an inevitability thing, I think. The Sand Trio wouldn’t be a band together forever: they’d end up breaking up because of an argument or drifting apart or literally someone dies. And given the state of the world in this AU deaths are a little harder to come by, and I don’t really see an argument breaking up this iteration of the Sand Siblings. So drifting apart feels the most natural for them.

As for the Shikaara relationship? Well I suuper don’t know for that.

‘The song remains the same’ rockstar!gaara AU

Ahahahaha, this is a great prompt anon. The problem is I would just use the title you’ve given me for the rockstar!AU. I mean maybe the only difference would be the implication that the rockstar!AU is somehow related to canon DoS?

Or, well… hm…

Maybe a Time Loop!AU of the rockstar!AU? Or maybe a post-breakup!rockstar!Gaara goes back in time to before the breakup (both with his siblings and with Shikako?) But that seems so sad!

Then again, I do love sad things.

the song remains the same

Five years after the breakup–both breakups, not that the media cared about one of them–Gaara wakes up the morning of the Sand Trio’s first official gig.

The same day he met Shikako.

And then it would basically be rockstar!AU except with additional time traveller!Gaara who is doing his utter best not to mess things up.

But he’s kinda conspicuous about it?

Then again, I don’t actually know what would have gone wrong enough to cause break ups considering this Gaara is not a sleep-deprived demon container and this is not a highly militaristic ninja world.

It could very well be that it’s not something he specifically did. Maybe he and his siblings just drifted apart–artistic differences and different opportunities becoming available for them. Temari went solo, Kankurou ended up doing a lot of collaborations with other artists, Gaara wrote music for movies and tv shows and musicals. So the breakup between the siblings would have been amicable.

But I really have no idea what would have gone down between Gaara and Shikako, then.

Was it a fame thing? A time thing? A misunderstanding? I have no idea, anon.

Anyway, time traveller!Gaara being really courteous and trying to change the future but in a less frantic way than Shikako in DoS. It kind of hurts my heart, though. In a fantastic way, because I do love sad things–let’s be honest here–and in this fic it would be Gaara trying so hard not to “make the same mistakes” but the problem is he didn’t MAKE any mistakes.

There’s no one point where Temari decided to go for her solo career instead of sticking with her brothers. Kankurou has always loved collaborations, it’s not something he chose as a second place or because he hated being in the Sand Trio.

Some relationships just don’t last.

Although maybe he does change his relationship with Shikako. Or, no, not MAYBE. He does. Because he’s a different person when they meet which means they’d have a different dynamic. Maybe not too different, but still changed.

The songs are the same, though. That’s all he has left of that previously timeline, the songs he carries with him, that he brought back. Because Shikako is the same, it’s him that’s different.

Although, maybe, to reflect that he writes other songs on top of those songs he brought back. And I suppose this fic would end with the Sand Trio’s last concert–and most of the songs are the same, but there are a few to reflect that Gaara has made changes.

Making sad headcanons about rockstar!AU, excellent prompt anon! 😀

edit: friiiiiiiick, I am clearly NOT CATCHING these references. did not make the led zeppelin connection until i was tagging this post. YOU WERE PROBABLY AIMING FOR A BEHIND THE SCENES THING WITH THE SAND TRIO? AAAAAAAAAAH, MY BAD ANON.

If you’re still taking prompts, then Tetsuki and Aang. ATLA. “You don’t understand.” “What do you mean ‘I don’t understand’, I’m the Avatar! I’ve been reborn so many times!” Title: Parallel

Parallel

Patterns and pathways and daredevil, desperate plans.

An additional gear doesn’t always make things worse, but it doesn’t necessarily make things better either.

Or, Sozin’s Comet is approaching and Tetsuki makes an offer.

Oooh, @generic-name-goes-here, another Tetsuki prompt, you make my heart all a flutter. 😀

I really have not thought about the greater, you know, plot of Iron Will. Mostly I’ve written the angsty backstory before Tetsuki meets the Gaang and the even angstier epilogue when Tetsuki volunteers to be executed for political reasons. I really ought to re-watch the series and write Iron Will that way, but my fear of commitment and awful time management is showing.

Er, anyway!

Your previous prompt, Rust, had Tetsuki going full confessional on Toph post-series which I still think would hold true. If anyone of the Gaang is going to get the entire story from Tetsuki, I do think it would be Toph because there is a sense of solidarity being pragmatic Earth Kingdom girls as well as being outsiders or, rather, newcomers.  

That being said, I do agree that the topic of reincarnation would be something that Tetsuki is highly conscious of whenever she interacts with Aang. More so than the whole “fate of the world rests on his shoulders” thing.

In an unusual turn of events, her cynicism is actually kinder because she’s not banking on a twelve year old to save the world. Mostly because she doesn’t think the world can be “saved” per se–as much as she hates the Fire Nation, them taking over the world just means that her already powerful enemy just gets more power. Her acts of rebellion has always been small scale and the problem is humanity, not any specific nationality.

The thing is, I’m not entirely sure how the topic of reincarnation would be broached. And, also,  how/when Tetsuki and Aang would have a private heart-to-heart. Because she’s definitely not going to talk about it out in the open.

Does Tetsuki actually join the Gaang–or become Gaang adjacent, somehow? Or is it something like their paths frequently intertwine.

Then again… I mean the last four episodes he’s separated from the group while the rest of the Gaang go to June to find him. And that’d be some good drama considering June is Tetsuki’s estranged/long lost sister (who thinks Tetsuki is dead so…)

But her intruding on Aang’s introspective lion turtle sabbatical seems not only unnecessary but detrimental and also really unlikely. Like. Why and how would she end up on the lion turtle too?

Getting off track, I think.

Basically, she offers to kill the Fire Lord for him? He says no, though, because it’s something he has to do on his own (is it his destiny?) but having just been confronted with his past selves he’s not as horrified by her offer as he was during their first meeting.

I think mostly he’d be curious as to why she even offers or why she is so ruthless. Which leads into the reincarnation confession, like:

“My first life I was a Guardian. In title, only. I was trained to be an assassin, and I… I was decent at it.

“My second life I thought if I worked hard, if I fought well then my friends wouldn’t leave me. Or that maybe I could go back.

"I suppose for this life I’m just sticking to what I know…”

Tetsuki in any life has never been entirely mentally healthy. In her first life her parents were neglectful and she really early on got conscripted into a violent criminal organization–hurray canonical teenage mafia. In her second life she was an orphan in a highly militaristic world. So needless to say, she’s some combination of traumatized and depressed and while I’m reluctant to flat out call her suicidal she is disconcertingly eager to throw her life away. Maybe in hopes of getting back to her first life but at this point she’s just apathetic to everything.

Zuko, post-series, is her unwitting knife; Aang doesn’t fall for it during Sozin’s Comet.

I do wonder now how he reacts to her post-series execution. If maybe she timed it for when he wouldn’t be able to hear about it and interfere, or if he, by this point, deliberately turned away because he knows she’s been waiting to move on.

I don’t know, @generic-name-goes-here, you’re always bringing up such good points.

Fake fic: Shikako gets nightmares as she’s resting, and her chakra starts spiking as she’s facing whatever night terrors she has. It wakes everyone up. Much fluff ensues, please. (I was thinking, maybe it’s during a camp stop w her team? Also, I’m horrible with titles. Maybe “I’m Here”? Haha, you can take liberties w this.)

… I’m unsure if you understand the premise of the ask box event going on, anon. You give me a title and a very short theme/idea, then I come up with a summary and a general brainstorm/rant clarifying what the fake fic would be.

You appear to have given me the summary which doesn’t need much clarification and a title that you’re not all that keen on.

The only thing I can think of is:

I’m Here

Shikako goes to sleep knowing she’s not alone.

Sometimes that’s a good thing.

Sometimes it isn’t.

And then, like, I know you specified fluff but maybe it’s more of a meditation on Shikako’s humanity versus her burgeoning godhood. Not necessarily in an angsty way, but there is some melancholy on the “I’m possibly going to outlive everyone I love.”

Some scenes in which, as you mention, are her waking up from nightmares and her friends and family there to comfort her. Interspersed with scenes in which she’s in a dreamlike world, hearing the whispers of Gelel and the other spiritual entities. Except then you have wonder which is the dream–the memories of her loved ones or this strange possible future where she may, in fact, be a god.

Which I kind of already went over in the previous post so…

(I hope it’s okay to prompt more than once!) TITLE: “All distance breathes a final dream of bells” (referencing a line of the e.e. cummings poem “all nearness pauses, while a star can grow”) STORY: Yoshino, Stars Also Dream AU where Obi-Wan dropped by after feeling Jashin, not Gelel.

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I see everyone is excited about the Land of Hot Springs arc 🙂

I’m putting these three together because I think separately they won’t be very long mostly because they’re AUs/remixes of fic and brainstorms I’ve already done previously. I don’t mean to brush off these prompts–I, too, am all a flutter about the world building SQ’s introduced (GODS! WTF? I’M SO HAPPY AND CONCERNED?!)–but I’m not certain enough to do a full outline of a fic in relation to this topic.

I mean, as an appeasement of sorts, here’s some… spoilers, I guess: I was actually planning on doing a Hail To The Queen installment “she who has divine right” before the Jashin bomb drop (pun not intended) in which each time the Shinigami appeared it ominously looked in the direction of Shikako. Waiting for her to ascend… sort of? And during the Gelel struggle Shinigami might have intervened a little?

But finding out that Shikako is considered a “little god” by Actual Literal Eldritch Horror Jashin kind of just blew that idea away (pun still not intended). Not in a bad way, but that installment is definitely on hold until I can develop more of a sense of how deities work and, as a result, how divine right would also work. Also there are still two more canonical instances of deities that SQ might use so…

ANYWAY! Let’s start with @donapoetrypassion’s prompt:

So in a Stars Also Dream!AU where the Millennium Falcon shows up after the Jashin / Shikako nuke… you know what, this is maybe at most a week after the events of Rogue One? Shikako’s nuke might be the more important thing than the Jashin peering into the tangible world (then again, that’s probably a really creepy sensation in the Force).

Um. Regardless. Whatever vestigial echoes Obi-Wan feels, Yoshino is feeling ON BLAST (pun still not intended) to an exponential degree. And this is definitely worse than the original Gelel eruption because that one was a huge burst of energy but that was positive life energy being returned to the planet (and imbued into her daughter). The nuke was the horrific ritual being co-opted into an explosion as tweaked by the Force/Gelel which probably, especially since it results in basically an entire country being destroyed, doesn’t equal positive energy.

Yoshino was worried about her children being involved in the Gelel eruption before. This time she knows without a doubt that Shikako was there pulling on the Force/Gelel in order to do something that resulted in a country destroyed.

Also, she just gave birth, and no doubt her maternal feelings are on overdrive.

This time, when Obi-Wan comes she is not interested in pursuing this thread from the past. She is not interested in tagging along on his mission to save the princess from the Empire. She has to stay here, has to watch out for her family, has to keep herself and her own safe.

She’s not actively keeping this a secret from Shikaku, but he is, you know, a little worried about the whole nuke and war with Cloud. So it’s still a T&I only project like as in canon SAD, but instead of Yoshino (and Santa-kun) going with Obi-Wan I think maybe… do one of the droids stay behind? No… Does Ibiki have any summon beside that weird jail cell? He must, right? Like some kind of monitoring thing… That as well as a missive from Tsunade’s desk inviting the Rebel Alliance to treat with Konoha.

So a post-Jashin AU of SAD would have Yoshino hands off as far as Episode IV goes. Which is bad news for Obi-Wan–he’s going to die just like in canon–and maybe a younger, less hardened Yoshino would feel bad about that. This AU would be a lot more political, I think, than action/adventure; a lot more fraught and bleak.

Regarding the other two prompts, anon(s?), since I’m not confident enough in my grasp of what deities are like in DoS I’d probably just end up with vague ideas not unlike this suggestion from @wildtabbykat and Stories of Ancient Gods  as well as the rambling Rise-of-the-Guardians-esque brainstorm.

Shikako growing into her godhood. Becoming a god through belief from other people. Outlasting most of the people she loves. etc. etc. but having a fondness for those humans descended from those she once knew.

At some point, when her immortality begins to grate on her (and how ironic that someone whose life involved so much dying is immortal) she probably talks to the Shinigami. At first to get it to kill her finally, but eventually as one does equals…

Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t fill these properly, but hopefully these rants are entertaining enough.

“close your eyes and breathe in your ruin” fake fic? dos kakashi?

This is definitely not a reference to anything, right? They’re two separate phrases which don’t appear anywhere together, right?

If it is a reference, sorry I missed it. Also, I’m gonna slap some parantheses on here; hope you don’t mind, anon.

close your eyes (breathe in your ruin)

Kakashi considers the shape of his failures and what it actually means to survive.

Or: the Team Sevens that was, never were, and is.

AKA Kakashi is always mourning even when he’s happy. Maybe especially when he’s happy.

We all know that Kakashi is the saddest string bean in existence and the title doesn’t really help matters, so instead of resisting I decided to lean into it.

This would definitely be a lot of Kakashi’s internal thoughts about his now dead team, the various genin teams Sandaime tried to foist off on him which he rejected, and his current team. And it features things like:

Comparing members of his first Team Seven to his current Team Seven. With some surprising match ups like Sasuke and Rin, Shikako and Minato. Though, of course, he does go through all combinations at some point.

The vaguest recollections of those genin teams he failed. Maybe the first one had a Nohara–Sandaime trying to hook him with sentimentality–but it was trite and that Nohara boy was nothing like Rin and Kakashi was offended that Sandaime thought it would work.

Imagining what the world would be like if his first Team Seven were still alive. Naruto would have grown up with a parent, of course, and Sasuke might not be so horribly alone. Would Obito and Rin have had genin teams of their own? Would Rin have been Sakura’s sensei instead of her going to the Medic Corps? Would Minato have a hand in Shikako’s burgeoning fuinjutsu education?

Etc. etc.

Not sure what else I can include in this brainstorm without outrightly starting to write this fic… Sorry it’s so short, anon. Uh please enjoy this fic rec which is the foundation for all my alive!Nohara Rin headcanons: Dinner with the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad by pentapus

Erm, but basically this fic would be about Kakashi the saddest string bean.

Fake Fic Challenge, any fandom, “In the Absence of Heroes” please!

In The Absence Of Heroes

Tragedies happen when the tropes are hungry and the heroes are in wrong goddamn story.

Good thing they aren’t heroes then.

Anon, this is very clearly a Disney’s Descendants fic in which the four Lost Kids end up in a different universe. I really don’t want re-use previous brainstorms because that seems a little unfair, but this would work PERFECTLY with that “Lost Kids in Naruto/DoS ‘verse and placed on the Konoha Twelve genin teams (to make Konoha Sixteen)” which is still, bizarrely, one of my favorites that I know for sure I will neeeeeever write.

Check out the link if you’re curious, since that would be my number one offering for this fake fic title/summary, but I guess I can come up with a runner up of sorts?

Hm let’s see…

Ugh, this is hard. Because, see, the great thing about the “Lost Kids in Naruto/DoS ‘verse” is that it really is a place without heroes. Or, rather, that heroes are relative there. Of course Naruto is the hero but he’s the hero of a society of mercenaries. Morality is different. Naruto doesn’t like killing and maybe it’s never been definitively shown that he has killed (I legit forget), but I’m pretty sure he has, at the very least, committed manslaughter via collateral damage to innocent people.

And this weirdly grey morality is something that I did get into in the brainstorm, but it just really fits for this prompt. I had, alternatively, considered more of a “In The Absence of Heroes… The Villains Step Up” type of direction but that seems almost too much of a stretch unless it’s–again, like another previous brainstorm Once Then Always – a world and a plot specifically crafted to turn them into heroes. And that itself has its own “morality is relative” sort of vibe. By getting rid of the White Witch the Lost Kids are, by default, the heroes regardless of their motivations or their process or what they do afterwards.

So what I’m saying is, this is still definitely a crossover but I’m not sure which morally ambiguous ‘verse to throw the Lost Kids into…

… A Song of Ice and Fire?

But I don’t think they’d go anywhere near the calamity that is Westeros–there are already far too many factions and subplots that if anything they’d just be a mere drop in the ocean, even though Mal is literally the daughter of a dragon–and there’s no real impetus like in the above mentioned brainstorms that would drive them towards any of the dozens of relevant primary protagonists.

Maybe Star Wars, but then comes the issue of when, where, and who. Like, okay, maybe Tatooine after Obi-Wan has brought Luke to the Lars couple but before the actual events of Episode IV. After he’s established himself as that weird hermit Old Ben, and time and the desert have worn away the worst of the hurts but not the entirety of his compassion.

Imagine Obi-Wan, about five to ten years into his self imposed exile, nothing but sand and his thoughts (and those pesky Tusken Raiders who are only now beginning to understand that he is not someone to be messed with) for company. Imagine him stumbling upon these four horribly ill-prepared children in the desert who might very well die if he doesn’t, at the very least, give them some water and point them in the direction of the nearest civilization.

Except three out of the four of them are, to some extent, Force sensitive. And he’s wary about letting them close, about caring–because look what happened to the last Force sensitive child he cared for, he went off and became a Sith Lord–but he’s also been living through the echoes of dying Jedi and he knows that these kids are as good as dead if he doesn’t, at the very least, teach them to hide their Force presence.

Obi-Wan is not actually that good at doing the very least.

The problem is, I like the contained plot of Obi-Wan finding the Lost Kids and training/teaching/raising them to varying extents (Carlos, despite not being Force sensitive whatsoever, is probably his favorite) and maybe that jump starts his mentorship with Luke? (Because now weird hermit Old Ben is now weird teacher Old Ben, and more connected with the “community.” And Obi-Wan thinks it’s not really fair to give these strangers nothing and not do the same for the boy that in a kinder world might have been his nephew of sorts).

But I don’t actually like what would logically follow next: the Lost Kids joining the Rebellion.  Because they would. They would have to. They were trained by one of the last Jedi and they definitely do not agree with the Empire (though their issue might be more a chaos vs conformity thing than a good vs evil thing).

… unless they join Saw Gerrera’s Partisans?

Which does seem in character–if the reason they leave Tatooine is because they’re becoming adults who want to do more and think Obi-Wan isn’t doing enough by just waiting on this desert planet, then I can very well see them joining the Rebel Alliance and thinking that they’re not doing enough, and so they split off and join the Partisans–though I’m not sure of the timing of everything. When did the Partisans split off? Would the Lost Kids being raised/trained by Obi-Wan help/hurt their cause? Etc. etc.

A foil to the Rogue One crew, I suppose.

I might also consider them appearing in Episode VII on Luke’s old Jedi temple planet, but without knowing how the following episodes will unfold, I’m hesitant to make any predictions there.

Hm… so yeah–here’s the runner up.

I have some more thoughts on this if anyone’s interested, but they’re more just random headcanons of this ‘verse as opposed to anything necessarily relevant.

for the fake fic prompt, dreaming of sunshine, “spin me a song in the shadows of death”

… okay so I googled this and I could not figure out what this was from or what song these are lyrics out of so… um. Is this meant to a biblical reference to Psalm 23?

This is kind of long for a title, too? And… I don’t even…

I am bewildered, anon, but I’ll try my best.

Spin Me A Song (In The Shadows Of Death)

The ability to summon spirits is not a gift given lightly or often. Gods even rarer.

Shikako just wants to go home.

So, right from the outset I’m going to diverge from DoS Chapter 130. In the sense that, having been super traumatized by the events that took place in Land of Hot Springs, Shikako would VERY MUCH NOT LIKE TO GO BACK THERE, please and thank you.

So instead of having Heijomaru reverse the reverse summoning, Shikako travels through the Summon Realm in hopes of finding some of the other summon spirits that she is friendly with (Kakashi’s dogs, Sasuke’s hawks, Ino’s chameleons, Tsunade’s slugs, the other Nara clan summons etc. etc. Hell even Naruto and Jiraiya’s toads would be good though she has no idea where they are except for Not In Konoha, but as long as that is also Not In Land of Hot Springs then she’s okay with that too. If pushed she’d probably be okay with the cats of the Neko-baa in Soraku, though given the pawprint encyclopedia mission she’s probably persona non grata in their territory).

Um, yeah. I don’t know if this is canon/fanon/headcanon but are the summons spirits from a parallel plane that can’t die in our world? Like… any hit that would be lethal would just send them back to their realm. Is that just me? Have we seen summons die canonically? I know Gamabunta has a wicked scar over his eye but we don’t know what that’s from.

Anyway. I figure that while that pseudo-immortality works in the human world, in their own realm they’re as mortal as normal.

Why is that important?

Well, the summon realm is a dangerous place and not only for humans. There’s a reason why each species have their separate territories and that’s because they do not naturally co-habitate. So Shikako wanting to leave the deer territory and find her friends’ summons to be brought back to the human realm is a VERY RISKY UNDERTAKING. I… don’t think the deer will go with her.

Don’t get me wrong. She is their summoner (their only summoner, apparently) and they are fond of her and they did have a mutual vow of alliance. But I think that only covers the deer coming to Shikako’s aid in the human world. Heijomaru’s offer to go back to the place she was summoned from with her is his only offer. Her deciding to wander the summon realm for an alternative way home is not one that he can commit himself (as the leader of his herd) or any of his herd. They can actually legit die in this realm unlike the human world.

They do probably have some summon alliances with the species whose territory are near them but those aren’t any Shikako is familiar with. Alternatively, there’s huge swathes of unclaimed and thus unprotected land between established territories. The deer probably give her a map or at least directions to the listed above summon species and their territories, but it’s a long journey fraught with many dangers and, again, Heijomaru would prefer it if Daughter of the Forest not do something so reckless.

Heijomaru does not know Shikako very well yet.

So a journey of self-discovery, I suppose. Many moons ago, Shikako had been considering reverse summoning herself to figure out what her most compatible summon creature would be–though she took the path of least resistance and went for the already established contract with the deer.

Sure it’ll take a while. Might be dangerous. But so long as it’s not going back to that place of horror, Shikako doesn’t mind wandering around the Summon Realm for a while.

And hey:

Guess who else can be summoned?

That’s right, the Shinigami. 😀

I don’t actually think that Minato and the Sandaime–who both have other summons, anyway–went this route to get the ability/fuinjutsu sequence to summon it. But it is, according to the naruto wiki, apparently affiliated with the Uzumaki clan. So some enterprising Uzumaki clan member many maaaaaaaany moons ago apparently thought this was a good idea.

Maybe the fuinjutsu sequence that Minato and the Sandaime use are the equivalent of the single use summoning scroll that Sembei had to originally introduce Shikako to Heijomaru?

Anyway. The point is, Shikako meets the Shinigami in her quest to go home. Maybe they talk about godhood, maybe they don’t seeing as how traumatizing the last god she spoke to was.

~Spiritual journey~ (literally).

Aw man, I just realized Aoba had a summoning contract with crows right? Ravens? Well, Shikako definitely stumbles on them and there’s conflict/grieving/emotional reparations/closure.

@saltykrispycake RE: Manda… according to his wiki page the timing might have been that even though the death blow came from the human world (Deidara’s explosion) the actual time of death/receipt of injury could have been in the summon realm which is why Suigetsu had to summon Manda (and Sasuke inside Manda) to his location. I’m unsure though…

!!!Color Time!!!! And of course Gai is the ultimate kunoichi. XD But also if Shikako is Indiana Jones and Naruto and Sai are kids TV … what’s Sasuke’s accidental Team7 fame?

😀

The easier one to come up with is Sakura–now the beautiful badass ingénue of the Naruto world’s equivalent of Grey’s Anatomy. She is both the hopeful optimist of the hospital drama and also the smoldering heartthrob (those muscles! those eyes! wooow! Other member of the Medic Corps swoon dreamily whenever she passes).

Kakashi as Hokage and the poor haggled administrative team headed by Iruka-sensei trying to wrangle him into respectability. A lot of The Office-like confessionals, crying in the supply closet, deadpan staring at the cameras.

Sasuke’s is very difficult, though…

OMFG, I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

If Sasuke rebuilds the Konoha Military Police with his ANBU training, I imagine there are a lot of… basically Cops meets Maury? A lot of censored faces, a lot of sordid shenanigans. His show started off as a sort of… the police wear body cameras less for the accountability (because I like to believe that fictional police are better than IRL police) and more for evidence collecting. But then he kept getting involved in really weird cases. Not even dangerous ones, but things like: this civilian is having an affair with four different shinobi but that’s not what he’s in trouble for. That civilian keeps drunkenly stealing apples? Just. Why? Why is he naked?

Or, he’s called into way too many three AM domestic disturbances. Thankfully no spousal abuse, but things like: a fight on whether or not one partner should be allowed to get a pet tarantula. Whose turn it is to wash the dishes. Except, considering they’re shinobi, it turns into this huge production.

Sasuke probably hoped for something respectable like a crime procedural shows–CSI or something like that. Lol, nope.

Okay that Colour Time AU cleared up my acne and also saved my soul. I, too, am here for Sai’s colourful animals THROWING THEMSELVES AT THE WALL in the most colourful nO YOUTHFUL DEATH EVER OKAY BUT TEAM GAI HELPING OUT AT COLOUR TIME

OF COURSE TEAM GAI WOULD BE ON COLOUR TIME! 😀

Lee, learning that Art isn’t about quantity or speed–there’s no competition in art–it’s about getting in touch with your emotions. Which is his JAM. Neji somehow despite all the paint flying around, remaining perfectly spotless. TenTen taking on Naruto’s challenge for most interesting methods to paint with a FLURRY OF PAINT COVERED WEAPONRY.

Now I’m not saying TenTen invents the Naruto world’s equivalent of paintball, but I’m also not NOT saying that.

Gai, unsurprisingly, is uncannily talented. At heart he is a True Artist. Martial arts, painting, singing, etc. He possibly teaches or shows up during kunoichi classes as a prime example of the “nine in one” ultimate kunoichi?

But yes. Colour Time. I’m sure everyone makes a cameo in Colour Time at some point or another. Unsurprisingly, Yakumo is a recurring guest. Possibly Kino-chan and his genin team are the most frequently recurring team as well.