Tag: naruto

It pleases me to know that Naruto comes from a long line of people who inspired others to say “you did what?!” I wish Shikako had spent more time in the summon’s realm too. We see so little of it.

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The Uzumaki are basically the clan of doing what others would think impossible. Mito-sama was the first jinchuuriki? Who else but an Uzumaki would look at a giant ball of rage and chakra point at it and be like, “Yup, gonna contain that with my mortal body. What could possibly go wrong?” (Surprisingly little, actually).

The summon realm is, like many things in canon Naruto, a fascinating idea that never got explored much to everyone’s frustration. How does it work, Kishimoto? We will never know.

I’m hoping SQ touches on it one way or another, because I have no doubt she can do it justice. But there are plenty of other areas that direly need world building and those more relevant to the plot as well. Maybe she will, but it probably won’t be via DoS–maybe one of the Sunshine Sidestories or a Reincarnation Roulette chapter…

Both Shikako Indiana Grylls Nara and Sasuke why-the-fck what-the-fck Policeman Uchiha star on Color Time at some point or another. It goes.. interestingly. Interesting because Shikako you were just SITTING DOWN Where did that sealing array come from?? And That One Guy from That One Episode on Sasuke’s cop show somehow gets involved?? Why is he here?? How Did He Escape?? The real miracle though is how everything was kept PG and still managed to be solved with Colors and Love.

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😀 Pretty much, anon!

Shikako might actually have been there for a legit reason–after all, Naruto’s challenge for most interesting painting method is probably an ongoing contest and fuinjutsu-ing color onto a wall sound like it’d be fun. Or maybe using different colors for the same seal array leads to different outcomes?

Sasuke’s is more of an accidental–the perp I’m chasing stumbled through an episode of Colour Time, thankfully all the would-be-censored parts were covered (possibly by a quick thinking Sai who just had a paint animal block the view)–and that very well could have been one of those bizarre “and painting out their feelings solved the problem.”

I’ve been reading through a lot of animal spirits/guides stuff, and horses have been big symbols of motivation, personal drive (one site said: “A driving force, what you thrive for or carries you in life”), freedom of expression, practicality, and all of that just screamed “Shikako” at me lol. (Random thought that I wanted to share, hope you don’t mind haha))

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🙂 I’m guessing this isn’t a prompt for the fake fic titles ask box event, though I did briefly consider something like:

What You Thrive For

In order to improve Nagaoka the fawn’s battle ability, Shikako sends him to a place where ungulates have schools of magic.

Equestria will never be the same again.

Except… I don’t really know anything about My Little Pony so I can’t follow up on this.

Anyway, thanks for sharing, anon, and I hope you found this fake fic summary amusing. 😀

I love the implication that Konoha just jumped on the reality tv bandwagon because you can’t script anything weirder than whatever happens to Team 7, no matter the genre.

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Well, given the trend of shinobi over time (actual shinobi world war to festival like chuunin exams) I wouldn’t be surprised if all the villages are joining in the media arms race.

Konoha has a bit of a head start seeing as how Team Seven were literally in a blockbuster movie, and not to mention that they’re the first ones to stumble into the reality tv format. Why fix what isn’t broken?

Actually, maybe different villages specialize in different formats? Konoha is tv documentary, Sand is animation–edit: The Muppets thanks @azersol, how could I be so foolish?–Cloud is musical competitions (ABDC and The Voice), etc. etc.

!!!Color Time!!!! And of course Gai is the ultimate kunoichi. XD But also if Shikako is Indiana Jones and Naruto and Sai are kids TV … what’s Sasuke’s accidental Team7 fame?

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😀

The easier one to come up with is Sakura–now the beautiful badass ingénue of the Naruto world’s equivalent of Grey’s Anatomy. She is both the hopeful optimist of the hospital drama and also the smoldering heartthrob (those muscles! those eyes! wooow! Other member of the Medic Corps swoon dreamily whenever she passes).

Kakashi as Hokage and the poor haggled administrative team headed by Iruka-sensei trying to wrangle him into respectability. A lot of The Office-like confessionals, crying in the supply closet, deadpan staring at the cameras.

Sasuke’s is very difficult, though…

OMFG, I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

If Sasuke rebuilds the Konoha Military Police with his ANBU training, I imagine there are a lot of… basically Cops meets Maury? A lot of censored faces, a lot of sordid shenanigans. His show started off as a sort of… the police wear body cameras less for the accountability (because I like to believe that fictional police are better than IRL police) and more for evidence collecting. But then he kept getting involved in really weird cases. Not even dangerous ones, but things like: this civilian is having an affair with four different shinobi but that’s not what he’s in trouble for. That civilian keeps drunkenly stealing apples? Just. Why? Why is he naked?

Or, he’s called into way too many three AM domestic disturbances. Thankfully no spousal abuse, but things like: a fight on whether or not one partner should be allowed to get a pet tarantula. Whose turn it is to wash the dishes. Except, considering they’re shinobi, it turns into this huge production.

Sasuke probably hoped for something respectable like a crime procedural shows–CSI or something like that. Lol, nope.

Okay that Colour Time AU cleared up my acne and also saved my soul. I, too, am here for Sai’s colourful animals THROWING THEMSELVES AT THE WALL in the most colourful nO YOUTHFUL DEATH EVER OKAY BUT TEAM GAI HELPING OUT AT COLOUR TIME

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OF COURSE TEAM GAI WOULD BE ON COLOUR TIME! 😀

Lee, learning that Art isn’t about quantity or speed–there’s no competition in art–it’s about getting in touch with your emotions. Which is his JAM. Neji somehow despite all the paint flying around, remaining perfectly spotless. TenTen taking on Naruto’s challenge for most interesting methods to paint with a FLURRY OF PAINT COVERED WEAPONRY.

Now I’m not saying TenTen invents the Naruto world’s equivalent of paintball, but I’m also not NOT saying that.

Gai, unsurprisingly, is uncannily talented. At heart he is a True Artist. Martial arts, painting, singing, etc. He possibly teaches or shows up during kunoichi classes as a prime example of the “nine in one” ultimate kunoichi?

But yes. Colour Time. I’m sure everyone makes a cameo in Colour Time at some point or another. Unsurprisingly, Yakumo is a recurring guest. Possibly Kino-chan and his genin team are the most frequently recurring team as well.

‘paint with all the colours of the wind’ Sai; Naruto

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I know what this is referencing, but for some reason I just cannot get this Teen Wolf fic out of my head. More specifically the fake children’s TV show that Scott and Stiles have and the catchphrase in which Scott says “I have rainbows in my daydreams,” and the audience is meant to shout back “Paint the world!”

I guess in the accidental-television-celebrity ‘verse that has Shikako as the equivalent of Indiana Jones and Bear Grylls I would totally want Sai and Naruto to have a kids show that’s a little bit like the one Scott and Stiles have in that fic.

A little Reading Rainbow meets Bob Ross, I suppose, with the adorable epic friendship of Troy and Abed from Community… relationship?

Also, in my defense, Naruto has already made his media debut in the same movie Shikako did. Except where she got the my older brother is dead action-adventure potential sequel subplot, Naruto got to hit the bad guy with a Rasengan of RAINBOW CHAKRA and if that isn’t a potential spinoff of it’s own about defeating negativity with colors and art and friendship then…

I lost track of where I was going with that.

So basically anon:

Paint With All The Colours Of The Wind

According to Naruto, every episode of Colour Time is their best episode ever. According to Sai that is a denotationally impossible statement.

Regardless of who is right, they’re both having fun and that’s all that matters.

(The ratings are nice, too)

Like with Shikako, they probably stumble into children’s television stardom accidentally–Team Seven luck holding strong and all that–I’m thinking Naruto and the Konohamaru corps are trying to explain the painting things for fun. Sai doesn’t quite get it because, not only are his paintings practical literal weapons, but also graffiti is against the law and won’t the Hokage be mad at them?

The Hokage is mad at them, but the Hokage is also wilier than them (not sure if I’m talking about Tsunade or Kakashi at this time but it applies to both) and not only has them clean up the mess but also has them tagged for all the painting related D-ranks in perpetuity.

Murals everywhere.

The Konohamaru corps are probably also punished alongside them for the “first episode” but after that it’s always a different genin team.

And I guess they go around painting fences and houses and etc with charming murals (there was a lot of rebuilding, wasn’t there? Functionality was prioritized over aesthetics, but better late than never right?)

And because Team Seven luck, something always goes… sideways with these punishment D-rank missions. Nothing DANGEROUS, but definitely weird. And, of course, the power of art saves the day?

Like, early on the problems are actually pretty small. Two of the genin are fighting and Art and Friendship helps resolve their differences. Then at one point there’s two businesses who can’t agree on their shared wall or are rivals or something and because Art and Naruto’s empathy and Sai’s more practical problem solving they join up and are now a combination bakery and blacksmith. Which is not a thing one would think would go together but is unsurprisingly very popular in Konoha.

And it escalates.

They don’t really leave Land of Fire (not as well traveled as Shikako’s bizarre fuinjutsu trips) but they do move beyond Konoha. Possibly even to the Daimyo’s court where somehow the bitter decision of succession is solved when all of the Daimyo’s heirs just… paint it out? And realize they all love each other as siblings? And most of them realize they don’t want to be daimyo or only like part of the responsibilities and, hey, how convenient that they’re all complementary parts. I don’t know.

Like Shikako’s adventures, Colour Time starts pretty low-tech. Photos of the respective murals and the murals being popular installments of art, the painting process (with Naruto’s more creative methods including but not limited to: paint balloons, wind jutsu, just throwing an entire paint can at the wall, bodily rolling in paint and using his clothes as a roller, his hair once and never again, Rasengan pretty frequently until the Hokage made him stop, etc) getting recorded and uploaded by the respective genin teams. Sai just tends to use brushes at first. Until he becomes more comfortable with himself and makes COLORFUL PAINT ANIMALS WHO THROW THEMSELVES AT THE WALL and thus beats all methods Naruto has used thus far.

I think I’ve gotten off track?

I guess maybe if graffiti artists were also children’s television hosts that’s what Colour Time would be. And ninja.

That fantasy au has given me another ten years of life

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😀 Isn’t the Fairy tale!AU just so fantastic? (aaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy)

But in all seriousness, thanks! Mostly thanks to @wildtabbykat for the prompt!

I was thinking the bijuu would be more like dragons in this AU, but the bijuu as Naruto’s giants would work too.

fake fic, dos, “seven deadly sins”

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Seven Deadly Sins

Even heroes have flaws. Team Seven just happens to have more than most.

Oh anon, this has to be an extended Team Seven character study right? Like with each of the members as a respective deadly sin. I mean, I don’t know what else would match so perfectly? Let me just figure out which character is which sin, I guess?

I mean, I suppose it doesn’t necessarily have to be canon DoS extended Team Seven. Perhaps this is set in the Friendship Is A (Mutual) Con ‘verse? Regardless it’d still be character studies of sorts, perhaps different POVs of a greater heist/mission…

Actually, yeah lets go with that.

It starts with Sai, dressed up as a waiter with a platter of hors d’oeuvres. Gluttony. In his mind he’s thinking about how he’s empty. How he’s always hungry. No matter what he does or what he eats it all just tastes like ink on his tongue. Nothing can sate him. He’s a yawning black hole that consumes and consumes.

He holds the platter out, watches as a man takes one unheedingly and begins to eat. Begins to choke. The hors d’oeuvres have scallops in it and the man is allergic to shellfish. The man also has access to the building’s security system.

It’s okay, there’s a medical student in the crowd, she can mitigate the allergic reaction, and if she hands off the man’s key card to Sai while opening his shirt collar so he can breathe? Well, who notices the waitstaff?

Paramedics show up, take the man away–just in case–and Sakura is the darling of the gala just as planned. “Your necklace is beautiful,” she says to the CEO who comes to thank the hero of the hour in person.

Envy for Sakura, then. At having to play distraction. At having to stay in this relatively safe and boring role. DoS or not, she wanted to be more involved. She wants to be a proper field agent, like Shikako, wants to be where the action is not outside as decorative and useless as a flower.

Better than getting ogled and groped by ladies (and men) old enough to be his grandparent, Sasuke thinks, drifting closer and closer to the guarded doors. Lust. Probably some wordplay to make that bloodlust, too, because while he can’t exactly go around punching rich old ladies (and men) at the very least he gets to “drunkenly” fight the security team, enough for the rest of Team Seven to go through.

He gets a very stern talking to, which ought to have been getting booted out of the gala, but he does look very nice in his suit so…

Over the comms, Naruto laughs, his own outfit less formal and more “cat burglar.” Sai has control of the cameras, has been narrating the goings on of everyone for intel and for fun, as well as some of the alarms, but there’s a field of lasers and pressure sensors that can only be turned off in the morning or by a panel on the other side of the room. It’s okay, Naruto’s got this. Pride. He’s the best.

After a no doubt amazing montage of Naruto breakdancing out of the way of lasers and disarming the room for Shikako to scuttle through. There’s a vault and between the two of them they open it quickly. Inside the vault, though… they’re only supposed to take the contents of one of the boxes–the one Kakashi-sensei told them to–but somewhere in here are the blueprints for prosthetics that have been bogged down by red tape because it’s not profitable enough. Greed. She needs it for her brother.

Cut to Tenzou, arm around another guard’s neck, slowly lowering them to the ground as they fall unconscious. Sloth. He’s only supposed to be back up, doesn’t approve of this job really, why are they taking so long? They should have been in and out minutes ago.

And along comes Kakashi, sauntering in, subtly waving Sasuke and Sakura away. Eying one of the security cameras, knowing Sai will pass on the order. He wasn’t supposed to be on site, not really. It’s his job but he’s too emotionally invested. This was the company that killed Obito–and Rin, years later, when she began asking too many questions. Kakashi goes to the CEO and dispenses his Wrath.

… So… if you’ve ever watched Leverage (which I highly recommend, it’s on Netflix and maybe Hulu too?) you probably know exactly what I’m imagining here…

dreaming of sunshine, kakashi (and maybe team 7) from any au, ‘Wolves like you can never truly be tamed, can they?’

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That phrase is a little long for a title, wildtabbykat, so I’m going to shorten that to

Tamed

“Wolves like you can never truly be tamed, can they?”

Or, elite jounin Kakashi Hatake takes on his biggest challenge yet: adulthood.

And, you know, making sure the idiots under his care don’t die.

AKA Kakashi’s ANBU shenanigans! Probably heavily featuring a greatly hassled Tenzou, badass former captain Mikoto, way too many trips to the hospital, awkward bodyguard/babysitting missions for all of baby Team Seven, and probably a few “flash forwards” to Sasuke’s own ANBU training in which ANBU Wolf comes out of retirement long enough to mess with his adorable genin. And also, you know, to be badass himself.

Touch a single hair on his adorable genin’s head?

~Sharingan no Kakashi has arrived and is ready to murder the fuck out of people~

Which would be canon DoS interpretation of the prompt, but you did specify an AU so hm…

Hrmph… I got it!

It’s definitely going to be

Tamed

Through a series of bizarre and, frankly, unappreciated events Big Bad Wolf Kakashi has somehow found himself responsible for not one, not two, but THREE different Happily Ever Afters.

The sooner he can get these three fairy tale protagonists back on track, the sooner he can return to his lone wolf ways–he’s got a reputation to maintain, after all.

Featuring: Sasuke the angrily awake Sleeping Beauty; Naruto the Giantkiller who does less killing of giants and more talking them through their problems instead; and Cinder’kako who would prefer to stay at home and play with fire than go to some ball and get MARRIED. Ugh.

Kakashi has his work cut out for him.

I’m actually really fond of this AU now and I just made it up in five minutes. Aw, snap, I think I like this better than the canon DoS ANBU shenanigans summary.

Team Seven in a fairy tale world defying their prescribed roles and doing whatever they want. Which is becoming a group of badass heroes, obviously, with a “reluctant” Kakashi keeping them safe and “trying to bring them back to their respective stories.”

Sasuke–through the sheer power of vengeance and fury, probably–woke himself up from Itachi’s century long sleeping curse, cut his way through the wall of thorns, in order to kill his brother and revive his kingdom.

Naruto, striving to be friends with everyone–even his own villains–ends up talking it out with the giant (who might definitely be Jiraiya) and getting some cool human sized questing gear in exchange for not letting everyone know that he’s hidden himself in a cloud castle to write smut instead of running the kingdom that he “earned” by finding Princess Tsunade. She runs it better than he ever could, anyway?

Shikako is pretty self explanatory, I think. The Nara family aren’t evil so much as they are fondly exasperated at the increasingly destructive experiments happening in their backyard. They were hoping by sending her to the ball she’d get hired by the royal family as some kind of explosives expert for the kingdom’s army, but they suppose her going off questing is an equally acceptable outlet.

Kakashi really just wanted to be left alone in his forest and read the smut that Jiraiya the Giant writes. Alas, it is not to be.