Tag: anonymous

for the fake fic titles challenge: ‘blitzkrieg” kuroko no basuke, with kuroko and anyone else of your choice

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Anon! Anoooooooooon! Aaaaaaaah! This would be the perfect title for the Trailblazers x KnB crossover I’ve been doing. I would totally love to use this as the title for that. Pleeeeeeease? It technically fits your prompt?

If not, then I guess a non crossover fic would probably be something like:

Blitzkrieg

Speed, strength, surprise–the three factors to victory. He has the last–has it in spades–but the first two?

He’s going to need help with that.

Okay so not a crossover, but maybe a slight AU. Unsure if I just want a Canon Divergence AU or an Age Swap AU, but basically after the Generation of Miracles falls apart in their Melodramatic Boy Band Breakup™, Kuroko finds the Aida gym (or is guided to the Aida gym?) and he and Riko become Friends™ where she basically whips him into shape.

He’ll never be Miracles worthy physically, but combined with a more active training of his misdirection and increase in his base ability will compound.

And along with Riko come the other second years who basically, as per canon, help Kuroko get over the Melodramatic Boy Band Breakup™ through the power of Friendship™.

Or maybe not second years if I do an Age Swap and Kuroko is the one that’s a year older. Hm, how would that even work?

Oh man, but that makes it sad since if Kuroko is a second year at Seirin and the basketball team doesn’t come about until Riko, Hyuuga, and Kiyoshi become first years then that means Kuroko deliberately chose to go to a school that didn’t have a basketball team. Which means the split up Generation of Miracles brawled it out their first year of high school without Kuroko and probably did not get the Emotional Closure™ they desperately needed.

That’s so awful.

I love it.

And it kind of puts an interesting spin on the Uncrowned Generals because they weren’t senpai swept away by a bunch of kouhai. They’re kouhai striving to match their senpai. Which, I mean, is kind of the usual and doesn’t seem all that compelling, but the idea that the Miracles is a kind of “one day maybe I’ll be that good” goal instead of a natural talent and good fortune sort of helps with the hard work can turn someone into a Miracle which Kuroko’s training would be aimed at.

Or perhaps, at first, it’s not really training.

Maybe Kuroko is Heartbroken™ after Melodramatic Boy Band Breakup™ but he isn’t ready to go back to basketball, which is why he chooses Seirin which has no team, but he still want to be ready and in shape for when/if he does go back. And I legit have no idea what his canon home life is like (headcanon is that it’s just really empty and sad) and he doesn’t even have a dog in this AU so maybe he tries to get a job at the Aida gym. He doesn’t really need money, since his parents are providers if nothing else, but he just wants a reason to be out of the house.

Most places he can’t really work at because his unconscious misdirection means he can’t really be in customer service jobs or even, you know, apply. But while the Aidas aren’t immune to his misdirection, they do kind of learn the trick to perceive Kuroko and it’s not like he’s working there to be a trainer. He’s probably just doing stuff like cleaning the equipment, making sure everything thing is organized properly.

OH!

So when Riko becomes a first year and the basketball team is being made at first she asks Kuroko to be the manager 😀

Because he already does basically that at the gym and it’s not like he’s told her the truth about the Melodramatic Boy Band Breakup™ so as far as she knows he was just a third string on the Teikou team–loved the sport but couldn’t play at all. Which isn’t exactly wrong.

Oh man! Yeah! And then Seirin’s first practice game Kisei’s just like–wtf, Kurokocchi why are you not in a uniform? And everyone’s just baffled because Kuroko is their manager and why is a Miracle talking to him?

Unsure how old Kagami should be… He wouldn’t go to a school with no basketball team, surely, so he wouldn’t have gone to Seirin if he were also age swapped like Kuroko. He could be a new second year, I guess… hm…

Uh. My bad, I’ve gotten off track.

Basically, anon, Age Swap Kuroko and Riko Friendship™

(But please can I use the title for the Trailblazers x KnB crossover series, please?)

I think we need some silly fluff to even out the bomb SQ dropped these pasr fee chapters. I love the earlier prompts of Team 7 doing things like going grocery shopping in the middle of the night. Can I get more of that? Like, just general shenanigans Team 7 gets up to that weirds people out because it’s crazy and they’re all tired, but it’s so endearing because hey, look at these crazy dorks having fun and being all crazy. Aaaa // v \

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I know what you mean, anon, these past few chapters have been quite heavy hitters. I personally was expecting some espionage and politics not actual eldritch horror O_O

Right now I’m still in the middle of the ask box fake fic titles event, so if you want to send some fake fic titles my way you could do that?

I’m pretty sure my brainstorms for fake fic aren’t as ominous as this most recent arc is, though I’ll admit they aren’t nearly as fluffy as the Team Seven shenanigans of the ask box three sentence fic event. Mostly because no one has yet specified for fluffy…

“Desperate Endeavors,” Shikako and Kakashi (Dreaming of Sunshine)?

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Desperate Endeavors

The first rule of Team Seven is ‘no dying.’

Shikako and Kakashi have seventy two hours to stick to that rule.

(Or, in which Tsukuyomi isn’t torture. It’s a Trial.)

Non canonical, obviously, but basically the first thought that came to me from the title was as Orpheus and Eurydice-esque vibe. Platonic, please.

I had actually pictured it more of a literal death and Shikako, having been dead before, would be the best choice to guide Kakashi back. But I couldn’t really figure out the mechanics of how that would work or how Shikako would know it would work and as much as I think Shikako loves Kakashi (again, platonically) I don’t think she’d risk dying for such a minuscule chance to revive him when there are so many other people she loves that would be there to stop her.

If it were for Shikamaru, definitely. Naruto, she’d have to. Sasuke, probably? But with Kakashi, I don’t know… there’s a sense of… not only would other people not want Shikako to do it, but Kakashi wouldn’t want her to either? I’m pretty sure I’ve written this somewhere, but his greatest fear is putting one of his precious people in danger–him being the cause of their deaths (again)–and it’s DoS canon for the Hospital arc that he can barely accept them pulling a couple of all-nighters researching to save his life much less Shikako literally entering the death plane with much risk to her mortal soul. Or whatever deal she’d have to strike with the Shinigami or Gelel.

So literal death was out.

And then I remembered, hey, they were both in Tsukuyomi at the same time. And that’s… kiiinda like a death plane. So I figured, what if Tsukuyomi weren’t so much a set it and forget it torture genjutsu as it was an astral plane that just happened to be full of torture.

Like. Maybe Itachi just never used it on more than one person at a time? Maybe, given how much of a “pacifist” he is, torturing people mentally is something he does for a personal touch? Or not often enough to realize that there’s more to Tsukuyomi than the set it and forget it torture? I dunno.

But the point is, during their seventy two hours / one month of being in Tsukuyomi, Shikako and Kakashi basically break out of their isolated torture bubbles, find each other, and try to escape. It’s Bizarro Konoha featuring seven year old Shikako and barely-in-his-twenties Kakashi.

Maybe they stumble on the other victims of Tsukuyomi–or their shades, as such–in their own isolated torture bubbles. Including bby!Sasuke, poor child. Maybe they meet Shisui and he helps them out? MAYBE THEY MEET MIKOTO?!

I suppose it’d basically be a two person version of Lies Beyond Morning, except less head-trip-y and more run/escape the nightmare. I do like the idea of both of them being in their seven-years-ago-bodies and Kakashi having to bodily carry Shikako around because she is very small now and they are up against an army of Itachis and she cannot run very fast. Curse these short legs.

Maybe it’s a little bit of a… like when Ino went up against Orochimaru’s horcrux. Information goldmine, but at what cost. Like a leftover roadmap to Itachi’s mind (so I suppose more Inception than Kingdom Hearts), and if the two of them don’t get caught then they can uncover the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre. I mean, Shikako already knows. But this is a way for her to share what she knows with someone else. And, also, getting to the “safe” means getting out/waking up.

Sorry, I am the bad Way Down We Go promoter. I was thinking more like: Shikako and Shikaku especially after the most recent chapter. If you don’t mind doing it.

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Eh… it’d be a bit of a repeat, anon. And, well, the fic would be as you described? A coda to chapter 130 with Shikako and Shikaku feels? Probably Shikaku’s POV about his tiny daughter flinging herself into more and more dangerous situations.

But that’s also already kind of like the chapter 98 coda, Sunshine Sidestories ch 16, so…

Yay! Your computer data was retrievable! (is what I understood. I’m glad you got at least that, despite the bad luck with the virus.)

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Yes! I’m glad it was salvageable, too. Like, I don’t actually have that much on my laptop but I was just like: oh shit, it’s been infected. THE MURDERER IS IN MY HOUSE HOW DO I GET OUT ALIVE.

(I might have freaked out the associate who was helping me. I like to think maybe it was more amusing than just straight up weird, but who knows.)

And Way Down We Go. I’ve been listening to Kaleo and this struck me.

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Another song inspired title with no other context, so I listened to this song on loop and tried to narrow down the idea so I wouldn’t end up rambling horribly like with I Am Your Lionheart, so hopefully you like what has shaken out, anon.

And Way Down We Go

This is not her journey. The fate of this world does not rest on her shoulders.

But she’ll be damned if she doesn’t try to help anyway.

I hope it doesn’t come off as me recycling previous ideas, but for this song I got very strong Tolkien ‘verse feels. More specifically one of those “Shikako gets reincarnated again in a different universe.” I mean, I suppose it doesn’t necessarily have to be Shikako’s second reincarnation, it could just be some SI!OC’s first reincarnation, but that’s what came to mind for the song what with all the very powerful Nara-esque lyrics of the song

Anyway Hartley Proudfoot(?) is perhaps not the most typical hobbit–too serious and too quiet and somehow always sad–but the Proudfoot clan is a genteel family, and they’ve always been a bit strange. Perhaps she’ll end up a spinster, unfortunate but not surprising.

Thankfully, there’s a different Shire oddball who has everyone’s attention–Bilbo Baggins, quite eligible bachelor and inheritor of not one but two fortunes… and his mother’s troubles.

(I suppose this would work with The Lord of the Rings instead of The Hobbit, but I am more familiar with The Hobbit give how recently those movies came out, and given the fake fic title it matches more with The Hobbit, I think.)

So, yeah, Gandalf comes around, dwarves in tow, dispensing quests like the world’s nosiest NPC and as they leave–the most conspicuous caravan to ever be found in the Shire–Hartley happens upon them.

And here’s the thing–whether or not she is Shikako or some other SI!OC, she knows who Gandalf is. She knows what his presence in the Shire means (beyond just the childish firecrackers that he brings to the Party Tree). She could, very easily, avoid him and live a calm, peaceful, utterly boring life.

Maybe she wants that! (She does not)

So as the group is leaving (or trying to, they seem to be going around in circles for some reason), Hartley approaches them and basically offers up her services.

Which includes as much of Shikako’s abilities as she could transfer over to this world. Which is actually quite a lot.

Seals may not exist, but explosives certainly do. Chakra doesn’t either, but taijutsu is free and the skills from the Academy can still apply. Blades are blades no matter the universe. And animals in Middle Earth are a lot hardier and smarter than the ones she knew from her first life. Maybe the deer aren’t Heijomaru and her summons, but the antlers are not for show.

As far as the dwarves know, two Hobbits just means that if one dies along the way they’ll have a backup. As far as Bilbo knows, he appreciates not being the only civilized person in the group (although he knows the Proudfoot clan are… odd, and Hartley isn’t exactly proving him wrong). As far as Gandalf knows, the last hobbit who asked him to go on an adventure was Belladonna Took.

So, yes, Hartley is added to the fellowship. And, I mean, without doing a massive retelling with all the stations of canon, she does change a few things but not everything.

But she is a hobbit, and in this world hobbits can do great things beyond themselves.

There is no romance on Hartley’s part (Bagginshield is, of course, up to interpretation) but she does become friends with all of the dwarves. I would like for her existence to change the fates for the line of Durin–whether that means for all of them or only the nephews…

She knows what the ring is. I don’t think she’d take it from Bilbo, since he did hold onto it without issues for decades, but maybe she’d tell Gandalf. Maybe that fellowship of the ring has a different lineup, a few decades early.

Maybe she and Tauriel (and Dis) bond over being badass ladies. Maybe, instead of heading all the way back to the Shire where she’s never really belonged, she platonically lives with Beorn and raises ginormous deer a hop and a skip away from all her friends.

Fake Fic for the girls of DOS ‘Nevertheless, She Persisted”

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Nevertheless, She Persisted

There is no easy path to becoming a kunoichi; no open doors or vacant spots.

Or, how every woman creates her place.

So this would, obviously, be character studies for the ladies of DoS (or, even just canon Naruto seeing as how poorly treated they are) and their struggles to become the women and kunoichi that they are.

Unsure if I’d just stick to the Konoha Thirteen ladies or include some of the adults. But seeing as how I’m probably not going to write it anyway, I guess I might as well go into what I’d write for all of them.

So Tsunade, Yoshino, Kurenai, Anko, TenTen, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Shikako? Maybe not Shikako. DoS is already from her POV and we already see her struggles so…

For Tsunade I’d probably go in depth about how she was the first combat medic. How, when she began studying medicine, everyone was kind of relieved? That the princess would be staying behind and healing in the village. Except, no… this princess wants to go out on the field. This princess wants to be on the front lines. She’s going to punch everything.

I wonder if Mokuton is actually a bloodline or a Hashirama-unique ability. Because if it is a bloodline, then Tsunade not having it would add to the whole–oh no, just stay in the village, you’re not as powerful as your grandfather–and her literally creating a super strength technique is a rebellion against that.

Yoshino… well… I suppose all my feels for Yoshino are in my Stars Also Dream series (never mind that it’s a Star Wars fusion/crossover) though otherwise as a non-clan kunoichi there’d be a lot of overlap with TenTen and Sakura’s stories.

Kurenai… there’s something to be said about a kunoichi who is so completely the typical kunoichi but still becomes a jounin. And, don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of love for women who defy gender norms and this applies to kunoichi as well. But there’s part of me that’s viciously pleased to see a woman excel not despite but through the gender norms. And I suppose this might apply to Shizune, too what with the poisons and barrier seals and all.

The difference between special jounin and jounin doesn’t seem like much, but I imagine for Kurenai it was huge. I have the feeling that she might have fallen into that trap that Shikako side-stepped. Genjutsu was her specialty and so she accepted a promotion to special jounin because of it early on (it explains why she’s only recently become a jounin even though she became a chuunin at fourteen I think?). And then she had to become even more of a master of genjutsu in order to make that leap between ranks. And it may very well have been something that people told her to give up on. Or tried to “help” her by telling her to expand her repertoire–essentially mimic Tsunade and get a combat specific talent to complement her genjutsu–but that’s not who Kurenai is. Of course she can fight, but she’s not going to stray from who she is just for a promotion.

Anko’s would be very much so a post-Orochimaru thing for her. She’s trying to be a good and loyal Konoha soldier but no one fucking trusts her anymore. No one wants her on their team, no one wants her for their mission, for a long time she can’t handle classified information. She can’t do shit. But of course she’s going to still try. Of course she is. If she gives up, if she defects, then that bastard wins. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks of her, she’s Anko Mitarashi, certified badass, she doesn’t need anyone else’s approval but her own.

I have a lot of TenTen feels but I don’t know if they’re cliche or not for a TenTen character study. It’s a lot about how she’s clawing her way up. Her pinpoint accuracy isn’t a natural talent, not a bloodline. It’s something she worked hard at. It’s something she suffered calluses for, scrapes and cuts and nicks. TenTen was running errands for the blacksmith and learning about different alloys alongside furtive, hesitant attempts to memorize flower types and their meanings. The girls were taught calligraphy to better go undercover and blend in with nobility, but TenTen forced herself to choke it down because it would help with fuinjutsu. She’s not good at the typical feminine arts, no matter how much she tries she’ll never be the next Tsunade, but she can be the first TenTen.

DoS Sakura is definitely different from canon Sakura so a character study of her would be different, too. But it’s still hard to shake the Tsunade parallels–I mean, they exist in DoS still as well so–especially since she’s a medic in training who wants to one day be a field medic and is learning a super strength technique to do so.

DoS Ino I would do post Sasuke Retrieval arc because I have a feeling that her being so adamant about Shikamaru not quitting as a shinobi might be a parallel to him doing the same for her. I think, maybe, Inoichi and the other Yamanaka clan members probably meant well? When they said she didn’t have to be a shinobi anymore. That she could retire. That after such a traumatic experience, it’d be understandable. And she was, maybe, considering it. If Orochimaru was influencing her, he’d want her to get stronger. Want her to insinuate herself even further into Konoha. Turn her into a sleeper cell. Retiring would mean she’s not a risk to her village. But retiring would also mean giving up, giving in, and she won’t let Team Ten go on without her.

Aaaand Hinata… it’s gotta be about her clan. Her awful, terrible clan. Man they’re the worst. THE WOOOOOORST. I mean… do I even need to write what this would be about? This is basically canon Hinata’s character arc (or what isn’t built around Naruto, anyway).

I guess I could add Shizune and Yakumo… but I don’t really know enough about either of them?

I am your lionheart? For the prompt thing?

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Okay so this is clearly a reference to the Of Monsters and Men song King and Lionheart which is about the artists who are brother and sister. So with that alone and no specific fandom or character for context I guess I’ll shuffle through a couple of potential fics I’d write for this title?

So the thing is…

The nearest fic I have that I think best embodies a “you’re my king and I’m your lionheart” vibe would be my FFVII fic Into Thin Air, in which my SI!OC is Cloud’s genderfluid twin. (And, well, given that I’ve always pictured Windy to have curly hair then it’s kind of hilariously on point since Cloud’s spiky hair could be a crown and Windy’s curly hair would be a mane). Except, obviously, that’s already titled.

It may also apply to the Into Thin Air x Naruto crossover series I play with every now and then. It does have an additional layer of feels, beyond the parallel of Naruto is Cloud’s distant descendant, since in the beginning Windy is depressed and traumatized and grieving and doesn’t have the energy to be brave for this strange child that looks so much like her brother but zie tries anyway. For this familiar looking touchstone, zie’ll try.

I don’t think I’d do a DoS fic for this since it’s very obviously a “Shikako’s feelings about Shikamaru” and that’s already included in Dreaming of Sunshine so anything I’d write would be redundant? (I’m actually surprised that this song hasn’t already been recced for the DoS Soundtrack for the Nara twins. Especially for the Land of the Moon arc… I’ll just scuttle over there and do that real quick)

Hm, let’s see…

… Maybe if I were a little more keen I’d do a Katsuki siblings fic for Yuri on Ice, because surely Mari has a lot of thoughts surrounding her glass hearted national skating ace baby brother except I would rather read this fic than write it because I have no idea what those thoughts would be and how best to articulate them… (… or 映利’s POV)

I think I’m getting off track, anon.

Okay, flat out from the title alone–no trying to shoehorn it into a series I already have, no adhering too much to the song and the artist’s meaning–I’m getting Katekyo Hitman Reborn vibes but for two different fic which is… okay.

One fic would be from Kyoko’s POV, in a Kyoko-is-Sun-Guardian!AU or even in my Trailblazers ‘verse, and it would be about her growing up from cardboard-cutout-of-a-shounen-love-interest into a vital part of an international crime organization and it would definitely include her determination from Ryohei (and Tetsuki), her platonic feelings about Tsuna, and her opinion of Vongola.

Character study, basically.

The other fic I don’t think I’d ever actually write, given I already have Trailblazers as an SI!OC fic, but I think I’ve actually done a fake fic summary for this idea? (Ah, here it is)

Basically, Tsuna has a female twin. One who isn’t as disastrously dame as he is, but is still plainly average. The Sawada twins are Vongola’s “spare and mare” (in the nobility used to have three children the heir, the spare, and the mare) but given that all the heirs are dead (or unfit and frozen in magical ice) that means Tsuna and Nina (short for Giannina and to match the 27 thing?) are the only heirs left.

And while pitting the twins against each other in a competition to inherit a crime organization doesn’t automatically have the same emotional resonance as the song, I do kind of think at the root of Nina’s conflicted emotions about the situation that she’s doing this for Tsuna. The world of the mafia is dangerous, her brother can barely get through a school day without a bruise or scrape of some sort, he’s repeatedly said he doesn’t want to be part of the mafia. So she’s going to defeat him and become Decima so that he doesn’t have to.

He’s “king” in the sense that he’s the most important person to her and she will brave the sins of Vongola for him, but only so long as he doesn’t actually become “king” of Vongola.

above the abyss: what it means to be a nara (from the pov of our new baby kinokawa? older maybe)

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Ooh… Baby Kino Fic… I am both delighted and wary by this one, anon. He’s literally a newborn so we don’t know anything about him and I don’t want to presume what Silver Queen will do with him.

Then again, given the timeline of canon, baby Kino will only be at most four years old when the final Big Bad clash happens so it’s not exactly as if he’ll have a definitive personality by that point anyway so I could predict anything and it probably won’t contradict much.

Let’s see…

—

Above the Abyss

Kinokawa Nara grows up in the shadow of shadows, knowing his place in the world.

(Or, five times someone was wrong about Kinokawa and one time they were absolutely right)

—

The problem is, I just said five and one because that’s fandom standard but I don’t actually know what the five and one are. It just felt like the right format for this? I mean, a character study for a literal newborn kind of needs some support via formatting.

Here are some vague ideas that I have for this fic:

1) Much like his older siblings, Kinokawa is a very intelligent baby. Shikako possibly suspects too much like her and too intelligent–as in, also reincarnated from the real world. Shikako makes some very oblique references to canon to see if Kino reacts in any way. After several failures to respond, Shikako abandons the idea. Kino’s unusual maturity isn’t because he’s a reincarnated SI!OC–he’s just a super chill, very intelligent baby.  

2) Kinokawa spends a lot of time meditating? He is the most patient child? Calmest child, wisest child, Shikaku has no idea what’s going on. But he knows better than to presume what said child wants to do so he’s kinda like… Kino, did you want to go to the Fire Temple instead of the Academy? Because, I don’t know, maybe his third child wants to be a monk–Shikaku refuses to be surprised at this point. Thankfully(?) Kino is quite satisfied with going to the Academy, so… (One day he will be the equivalent of Kasuga-jiisan, I think. The wise old mystic with complete understanding of the spiritual side of the Nara clan jutsu. But that is several decades in the future)

3) According to @jickysilver, Kino is a precursor for Shikadai in that he’s a Nara boy with pretty eyes (and probably has fangirls). Said fangirls originally assume that he’s dark and mysterious and broody, a tortured soul who needs love to cure his inner sorrow. He is not that at all. Kino is the softest and sweetest child, he probably makes flower crowns with Ino-nee at the shop.  Or he gets free pastries from the Akimichi bakeries for doing easy errands for them. He is so gentle with animals, he probably talks to stray cats–Tora actively seeks him out. So soft. If anything, the truth increases the number of fangirls he has.

4) Shikamaru spends the entirety of Kino’s last year at the Academy overly paranoid that he’ll follow in their sister’s footsteps and end up on a team with awful luck and constant danger. It’s not helped much that there aren’t any Yamanaka or Akimichi in his class? (There’s a set of Akimichi triplets at the Academy but they’re in the year below and the next upcoming Yamanaka is only a second year, damn it). But come team assignments, Kino’s put on Team Six** with a Nohara and a Kurama under Shizune-san and Shikamaru will never admit that he cried tears of relief.

5) @jickysilver made the fantastic suggestion that the day Kino graduates from the Academy, six of the paperwork nin retired. They just couldn’t do it. Oh, they respect the Jounin Commander, but they cannot go through this a third time. Sure, Shikamaru isn’t nowhere near as bad as Shikako and the rest of Team Seven, but still. Their nerves are already frayed. They need hazard pay at this point. But, weirdly enough, not only does Kino not end up on disastrously bizarre missions he turns in fantastic reports. Just. The best reports. Bless this child. He turns them in on time, with everything filled out perfectly and not a coffee circle or grass stain in sight. (Possibly ends up joining the administrative team at least on a part time basis when he becomes a chuunin a la Iruka-sensei, and enjoys it. He finds paperwork soothing. The rest of the paperwork ninja chant one of us, one of us, while bringing him under their easily frazzled wings. His siblings do not understand at all but support whatever makes him happy).

+1) on the day of Kinokawa Nara’s birth, once all the visitors have gone home and only mother and child remain in the hospital room, Yoshino tells the newborn, “You’re going to make us so proud.”

… oh… I guess that’s five and one.

Yeah?

(**My headcanon for the Academy’s team designations/numbering system can be found here, but basically Team Six is the “general support” team unlike the heavy hitters that make up Team Seven. So relatively safer for one’s baby brother’s genin team.)

Colorblind – draco/hermione (doesn’t have to be romantic), society and the value of people regardless of blood?? idk

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Thanks for giving me that out, anon. I don’t think I can ship Draco/Hermione in canon HP, but seeing as how the following brainstorm is an AU, readers can feel free to interpret Draco and Hermione’s relationship as platonic or romantic.

Colorblind

Slytherin Harry Potter is cunning; ruthless and powerful and political.

Slytherin Harry Potter fights smarter, not harder. Slytherin Harry Potter always wins.

This is not a story about Slytherin Harry Potter.

Given how prolific the HP fandom is, no doubt there already exists a story with the same premise which is Harry goes to Slytherin because he doesn’t fight the Sorting Hat. Why? Because Draco Malfoy, sorted before him, was put in Gryffindor and all Harry knows is that he doesn’t want to be in the same house as Draco Malfoy (and the first friend he made on the train, Weasley, Ron, has not been Sorted yet)

And there are tons of Slytherin Harry Potter fic–some of them fantastic, some of them less so, but generally following the description in the summary right?

Colorblind is basically the B-side of a Slytherin Harry Potter fic. Harry going off and dealing with his adventures as part of the Silver Trio–Harry, Blaise, and Daphne–substituting cunning for courage, etc. etc. Those are the A-sides.

Colorblind would be about the people left behind, basically. You know how the really good canon divergence AUs have an almost liminal vibe to them? Like you can almost feel the way the universe is straining around the differences “this is not how destiny was meant to go, but we’ll make do”

And that would be mostly Gryffindor Draco who has been bodily thrown off his path (his father has never been so disappointed in him, but his mother looks at him with the strangest expression as if seeing someone else in him) and Hermione who doesn’t have years of saving Harry Potter’s neck to look forward to.

Unsure what to do with Ron, really. Because on the one hand he is highly prejudiced against Slytherins no matter that he and Harry were friendly to each other on the train, but on the other he does actually hate Malfoy’s guts so…

Anyway, obviously Draco and Hermione–no matter that they are both fish out of water–don’t like each other. He’s a bigoted prick and she’s the antithesis of everything he’s been taught as worthy. But they are also both very smart (much smarter than the rest of their Housemates) and aliens in their House because of their attitudes.

Both of them retreat to the library frequently, although at separate tables for as long as possible, until those overrated Ravenclaws try to muscle them out and it’s just like.

“I hate you but you’re the only intelligent conversation I have,” and

“I might as well study near you so I can be sure to defeat you on the next exam” which turns to

“You’re doing this wrong, Merlin, use this book I can’t have my only academic rival make such an embarrassing mistake,” becomes something… better.

Gryffindor Draco doesn’t embrace his altered destiny as much or as immediately as his uncle Sirius did, but he gets there eventually. And, well, befriending a muggleborn witch? Not even uncle Sirius did that (not really, Lily was never Sirius’ friend so much as she was dating his best mate). If Draco’s going to be stuck doing something he’s going to damn well excel at it. And that includes teenage rebellion.

And when Harry bloody Potter brings about the end of the Dark Lord (again) well, this time Draco is on the right side.

Mostly, though, it’s Draco and Hermione snarking at each other and whatever school destroying nonsense Harry bloody Potter is up to this week and having to learn to communicate because they come from such disparate backgrounds that sometimes they can’t even understand each other.

Politics and socio-genetic culture will no doubt run rampant in Colorblind because there’s no way, same House aside, that they can get along without them addressing and overcoming the elephant in the room. Ie the systematic racism Draco was raised to believe had a purpose and is constantly proven wrong (muggleborns aren’t dumber or weaker, they literally come from a different world and are told to abandon a lifetime of what is familiar and conform to a society that doesn’t tell them what the rules are only that they’re going to fail)

But, I mean, after that it’s all sass and badassery. Hermione probably teaches Draco how to throw a proper punch and Draco explains the necessity of fashion/putting on appearances so that it makes sense to Hermione and isn’t just incessant drivel like Lavender and Parvati chatter on about.

I’m thinking Draco becomes a professor at Hogwarts–Transfiguration maybe? (No doubt McGonagall has a significant role in Colorblind being their Head of House, and this would be a kind of nice ending point to their no doubt relationship with her ending up as Headmistress).

Hermione probably writes a lot of books. And collaborates with Draco on the textbooks for his class (the NEWT level book is an ongoing constantly self-editing thing because the two of them are always trying to prove the other wrong).

The problem is, anon, that I’m pretty sure Colorblind would have to be a full series rewrite from the Draco and Hermione’s POV with background Silver Trio shenanigans, but that is just waaaaaaaay too much for me to tackle and I feel like–simply by the law of large numbers–that this story, or a version of this story, or the premise must exist somewhere?

But, I mean, this is the fic I would write for that title and description, anon, had I the skills and time and patience for it.