Haha no, it was never my intention for my ask to sound loaded, and I’m not sure I understand why it would. I know the barebones of the naruto series, and that crow summons appeared at least once in the anime with Itachi in the scene? Either way, I don’t mean to upset anyone. Just saw the recent post of a crow over at the main blog for DoS and it reminded me of sakako’s abilities since it was so creepy with all the haunting eyes staring at the viewer. But yea, love the prompt fill! Thank you!

Oh no, not loaded as in conflicting but loaded as in… loaded with feels. Because the fanon (or is it actually canon?) is that Shisui Uchiha–who is a Discord favorite–had the crow summons and Aoba also (somehow?) was a crow summoner. Along with Itachi, of course, which is canon-ish.

The only upsetting is the good upsetting, no worries, anon!

And I’m glad you like both the picture and the fill 🙂

Sakako with crow summons feels like the perfect mix between shadows and her dad’s hawks!

A/N1: OMG, anon! I’ve been going through Sakako posts recently as well and I was thinking about doing something in that ‘verse so…

I’ve consulted the Holders of Fanon™ over at the Discord (ie Pepperdoken! and frolic/wafflelate) regarding the… lineage?… of crow summoners because your statement is very loaded and I’m not sure whether or not you know that… so… um… here are some feels which are only peripherally related to Sakako that I’ll attempt to disguise with drama/mystery?

Walking Around (Flying Together)

After the sixth time Sakako summons Hansha on a mission–in all fairness, five of those were legitimate emergencies–the hawk gives her and Dad an ultimatum:

“It was fine when she was still a chick, but now she flies.” Hansha says, wings lifting partially in an awkward imitation of a human shrug. As if she, too, disliked the situation but had no choice but to comply. “She must sign a contract with us or I can no longer fly with her.”

Sakako and Dad exchange a glance. She’s not entirely sure what expression is on her face, but it must be telling, because Dad responds to Hansha with a firm, “One week. I’ll talk to Garuda-sama personally, if need be, but give her one week to decide.”

Hansha bobs her head, another borrowed human gesture, before she leans forward. Sakako, obediently and somewhat sadly, does the same, bowing her head so that Hansha can  fondly preen through her hair even if it’ll mess up her braids.

It won’t be the last time, surely–even if Sakako doesn’t sign the hawk contract, surely Dad can summon Hansha to visit–but it feels so much like the end of something that Sakako can’t help but think she already misses this.

Sakako knows that when it comes to personal matters–emotions and goals and friendships–she’s fairly… slow. She likes taking her time to think things over, analyzing all of her options and pondering the differences. Surely such important life decisions deserve proper consideration?

Mum says it’s definitely her Nara side showing through–“though I’m sure Ino will say it skipped a generation with me”–while Dad says it’s something that the Uchiha clan could have used more of. Either way, it means that her parents are indulgent when she asks them questions about their own choice of summons.

Mum explains her logic: variety in combat abilities, clan tradition, the ever present drive to be stronger, a desperate need for someone she could trust unerringly.

Dad’s reasoning is shorter, but equally weighted: “Hawks eat snakes.”

Her parents are not the only one she asks.

“What about cats?” Itachi-oji suggests.

Sakako shrugs, mouth matching with a twist of uncertainty.

“The Uchiha clan had an alliance with the Neko-baa for generations.”

Sakako nods; she is the heiress, she should know her clan’s past.“I’ve been to Sora-ku,” she says, then considers the possibility. Denka and Hina are competent ninneko, they and their clowder would be reliable and trustworthy partners… but it’s not…

“It’s not what you want?” Itachi-oji asks. Sakako shakes her head.

Back to square one.

Understandably, the rest of the Uchiha clan ghosts aren’t keen on sharing space with the man who killed them.

Sakako has been helping them move on–a blend of her heiress and medium duties–and while some of them eagerly went on to the Pure Land without a second glance, others have elected to stay. Similar to Itachi-oji, but in separate areas of the compound.

Shisui-oji is one of them, but while he also avoids Itachi-oji’s ghost, he does so for an entirely different reason.

She’s been told that the Uchiha bloodline is prone to madness. Obsessive, possessive, consuming love that easily turns into insanity. But Sakako knows better–the most powerful Uchiha manifestation of love is not madness.

It’s guilt.

Mum’s career is long and storied. Literally. The amount of plays and movies inspired by some of her Mum’s adventures would be ridiculous if some of the more accurate and educational ones weren’t also occasionally shown at the Academy. Maybe that makes it even more ridiculous.

But there are some stories that aren’t shared with the public. Some that are just for her, Sakako falling asleep to the sound of Mum’s voice, quiet and somewhat scratchy and soothing despite the action of the tale.

There are a few that Mum holds back–with promises to tell her in the future when she’s older–but there’s one that doesn’t even get a mention.

In fact, the only reason that she knows it exists is because she stumbles on it by accident.

To Sakako, the majority of ghosts look like the living except for a slight translucence that wavers. When she was younger–before she could more clearly discern between them–it used to get her in trouble. She would look at a ghost or move around one and garner attention for her strange behavior. Thankfully she’d never been caught talking to one, but that has more to do with her reticent personality than luck.

The majority of ghosts.

There’s one in particular that looks different.

He glows, which is the biggest difference, a light so bright that she can’t actually make out his features. Just a vague, general shape. The only reason she knows it’s a ghost is because she’s the only one who can see him during the sporadic visits. He only shows up when Mum is around and given her traveling lifestyle, Sakako’s not sure how frequent he checks in with her.

Sakako can’t hear him, if he even is trying or capable of speaking, but she’s pretty sure he waved at her one time.

According to Kisuke-san, his name Aoba Yamashiro and he’s the First. The first what, he won’t elaborate, but the name alone is enough for her to work with.

He died before Sakako’s time, but he is far from forgotten. And besides, death is hardly an obstacle for her.

There’s a lot about the Uchiha which Sakako isn’t proud of–these are the histories which she learns nonetheless, because to forget them puts her fledgling clan in danger and already she will not stand for that–but there are others which are valuable. Tales that, like her Mum’s stories, are an important part of her heritage.

She will not sign a contract with the hawks or the deer, but her parents’ reasons applicable in their own way.

A balance of clan tradition and personal necessity. Flight and shadows, sharp eyes and sharper minds. Someone that she can trust.

Crow summoners may not have had the kindest of fates, but Sakako knows that fate is something that can be changed.


A/N2: I’m not terribly keen on the ending… but hopefully it’s still a fun read? Also, for all my pestering of the Holders of Fanon™ I only barely mentioned Shisui?! Ugh, I’m awful… a disgrace to the discord.

13 days until the show!

Would you ever write that for better for worse/desperate endavours mash up u talked about during the for better for worse brainstorm?

((For Better For Worse brainstorm post))

Ooh, starting off with the hard ones, anon. Hm, to be honest? The heart says yes. The brain says no. And I think given that it shakes out to a maybe, I should at the very least do a brainstorm.

But here’s why the brain says no, first:

A) Ideally, in order to do a mash up of two fics, the two fics should probably be written before doing said mash up – but, I mean, that’s hand waved away because mostly that’s to get the necessary background/premise across and I suppose so long as someone reads the brainstorm first or I insert it into the mash up fic then I should be okay…

B) It’s Kakashi. DOUBLED.

And, okay, so. I love Kakashi. He is my favorite disaster string bean. And I definitely know that he’s internally always mourning and externally irreverently apathetic, but it’s somehow very difficult for me to capture his voice. I know what a good one sounds like when I read (definitely looking at wafflelate/frolic’s Kakashi voice which is phenomenal!) but I can’t quite seem to grasp it for myself.

I mean, those are the main two, really. I have a few more world-building issues… but those are less concerns and more puzzles that I’d happily sink my mental teeth into for a few minutes/hours (primarily how to structure the Tsukuyomi coherently).

Now as for a proper brainstorm for the mash up… hm… I don’t know what else would be in this that I haven’t already at least briefly mentioned in either the original FBFW and Desperate Endeavors brainstorms.

Maybe if I do more of an outline storyboard kind of thing?

First Scene: Kakashi, at the beginning of Tsukuyomi, the canon awful experience of being drawn up and stabbed a whole lot by Itachi. And given that this is Kakashi who is like, the worst at not antagonizing people with how casually dismissive he is, no doubt he’s not going to make a sound even if it’s ~LITERAL TORTURE~. That is, until the Itachis announce that they’re going to do it all over again. And at that point Kakashi probably says something like “I’d rather you not.” Or something to that effect, coughed out in bloody gasps but still dryly unimpressed.

Except it’s not just the one Kakashi that says this. It’s BOTH Kakashis. And so Kakashi, the Kakashi that we’ve been in the POV of, finally  notices that he’s not the only one getting tortured. End scene.

Second Scene: Flashback. Snippets of canon!Kakashi’s life as he Dreams of DoS!Kakashi’s life. And, like, for a good decade or so after the Dreams start they’re pretty much the same (because I’m gonna go off the idea that Dreams only start happening when an Anomaly, aka Shikako, exists to create a difference between worlds. Or, rather, it starts after the Kyuubi event which most people think is the cause but actually it’s the Shrödinger’s Shikako who died due to Kyuubi chakra exposure in one world but survived in the other because of SQ soul) since Kakashi never directly interacts with Shikako until graduation. But he does see differences between how happy Naruto is, or his occasional interactions with Shikaku vary a bit. And I think actually this first flashback “scene” would end after canon!Kakashi wakes up from Dreaming of his assigned team genin being VERY DIFFERENT.

Third Scene: Both Kakashis, now highly aware (and unimpressed) with each other, sort of plan how to escape. In a version of this torture in which they are by themselves, I don’t think they would bother, but I think being with another person (even if that other person is himself) would sort of spur on his “can’t let anyone else see how much I hate myself and think I deserve awful things” (because Gai once told him that that’s maybe not so good to air out in public and if GAI thinks something shouldn’t be screamed to the village en masse then it’s probably something to be suppressed violently). And at first they don’t quite understand what’s happening (but Kakashi is a very smart string bean) and as soon as one of them says something like–Itachi’s not going to be satisfied with just me. He’ll go after my adorable little genin. And canon!Kakashi would say something like, “Sasuke would throw himself headfirst into this situation.” And DoS!Kakashi responds with something like, “Not if Shikako beats him to it.” Boom. That’s the difference between the two of them.

Fourth Scene: Some more flashbacks from canon!Kakashi’s POV of living in canon but Dreaming of DoS and preferring the latter (because… oh canon… you had so much potential). And however someone with a better Kakashi voice would say he would express (or not) his envy at DoS!Kakashi. And he Dreams of how the Chuunin Exams shook out differently in DoS (although, he did Dream of the warning that Orochimaru was there, so in the month of preparing, he did pass along Shikako’s warning and such so the village does fare off better than actual!canon). And I think there’s definitely some canon Kakashi and Sasuke training where they both wake up from Dreaming out in the desert and stoically don’t mention how in their Dreams yesterday Shikako trained with them. Anyway, etc. etc. The morning before Itachi arrives to ruin everything, canon!Kakashi wakes up from a Dream and idly wishes that he could meet Shikako. He is about to get that wish.

Fifth Scene: The Kakashis, both being geniuses (genii?) even better than Itachi (also, these Itachis are weird pre-programmed automatons so they’re especially inferior) do manage to escape. Now they just have to find their adorable students. Canon!Kakashi tries not to passive aggressive too much about HOW DARE DOS!KAKASHI PUT SHIKAKO IN DANGER SHE’S PROBABLY THE BEST THING THAT’S HAPPENED TO HIM IN LITERAL DECADES, but DoS!Kakashi is just like. Hypocritical much? I don’t know. I’d use the word snark, but that seems too friendly for where they’re at right now. And arguing is a little too active. Sniping at each other, maybe? I dunno. But that segues straight into…

Sixth Scene: Shikako, seven years old, running away from an Itachi automaton.

(It’s at this point where I’m not sure if I would switch POVs to see what Shikako did to escape her torture bubble or stick to the canon!Kakashi POV since that’s what the past five scenes have been. But regardless of if it’s show via Shikako’s POV or tell to canon!Kakashi’s POV, it kind of is just that Shikako and Sasuke’s torture bubbles were near each other (since they were intended to be the same thing) and like with the Kakashis Shikako could hear Sasuke. Unfortunately, Sasuke–being the traumatized literal child that he is–couldn’t hear Shikako. So Shikako could “escape” her torture bubble, but when she tried to break Sasuke out of his, the Itachi automaton programmed to torture her wouldn’t let her. So she was tactically retreating to plan a better attack when she stumbled upon the Kakashis.)

Which then segues into…

Seventh Scene: Story time has delayed all of them and now the horde of Itachi automatons have caught up. At first they try to run, but eventually the Kakashis have to fight while tossing Shikako back and forth to each other because she is in the body of her 6/7 year old self and has very short legs. canon!Kakshi has a thought, something about how–even though he was berating his DoS self for not protecting her–now that he’s partially responsible for not getting Shikako killed he is absolutely terrified of fucking up. (Because… Kakashi) And a very powerful thought of “I can’t let her die.”

Eight Scene: Flashback. The day after what would have been the family dinner post Wave mission at the Nara household. canon!Kakashi doesn’t mean to loiter outside the Nara clan compound like the most awkward and sad string bean that he is, but he just Dreamt of the best night of his life. He was actually happy. And that hasn’t happened since… shit. Before Obito died? And the Nara guards (or watchers) vaguely understand because it’s no surprise that everyone in the Nara clan Dreams of what it would be like if the daughter had survived and know that Kakashi would have been her teacher, but they don’t exactly know why today he is loitering. Except Yoshino does. And she comes to the gate and invites Kakashi for tea in such a way that he can’t awkwardly run away from, as is his usual response, and so there’s the two of them. Staring at a camera that doesn’t have a picture of DoS Team Seven. It’s all very sad and very lovely.

Ninth Scene: Haha! Tricked you, I just didn’t want to write an entire fight scene. 😛 Anyway, the Kakashis successfully defeat this batch of Itachi automatons but being paranoid for good reason means they suspect that more are incoming. Shikako is a little nauseated from being thrown around like a hot potato during the fight, but she takes charge because otherwise the two Kakashis would get too caught up in their passive aggressive fight to get anything done. They have to figure out how to save Sasuke from his torture bubble.

… and then I would end it here because open endings are cool… and also it’s at this point that I have no idea what to do next. I mean do they save Sasuke immediately or do they have to outsmart the Itachi automatons because they’re all acting the way the immune system does.

Basically I’m trying to figure out whether or not they should have Sasuke with them while they go around on their information scavenger hunt. Would it be better to for Sasuke to know that Danzo ordered the Uchiha Massacre because they were planning a coup? Or is it something that canon!Kakashi has to decide whether or not to share? (Oh god, Kakashi is going to fuck this decision up real bad no matter what he chooses)


A/N: Check out the Ask Box Would You Ever!

Ascendant (2018-01-24)

Tobirama-sensei chooses Hiruzen and something you didn’t even know existed within you shatters.

Everything after that is just collateral damage.

The first is an accident.

Or, at least, that’s what the report will say.

A training accident, two wartime soldiers unable to readjust to peacetime sparring.

A misunderstanding, you say, still covered in your teammate’s blood. You thought it was a genjutsu, luring you into a false sense of security.

It’s not completely improbable, is the thing. Kagami is–was–the most mischievous of the now disassembled Team Tobirama, with a flare for genjutsu and tricks. A smile and bright captivating eyes that had nothing to do with the Sharingan.

An Uchiha that even the most stalwart Senju trusted.

The first is an accident.

Decades down the line, you’re not certain if that’s true anymore.

Second and third are easy, the wrong words whispered at the right time.

You are not the only one who got skipped over.

Why Hiruzen? How is he more worthy than us? Were we not all students of the Hokage?

Politics, you’ll hiss at them, a blade sliding between ribs right into their hearts.

An enticing weapon, but ultimately a trap.

Shisui’s eye is a redundancy.

Fourth bows out before you can do anything.

Torifu was there during the first, he remembers it as well as you do.

Better maybe.

He steps aside and for that you turn your attention away from him, from his clan, and their vassals.

In your last moments, you will wonder if that was your fatal mistake.

For a while, you think that is enough. Prove your worth and sweep away those in front of you, it is only a matter of time before Hiruzen’s weakness provides an opportunity.

But time does not stand still. Soon fifth through seventh arise.

Children, compared to you. Literally. Hiruzen’s students. What do they know of war? Of sacrifice? They do not have the experience.

But youth and talent–and pedigree in young Tsunade’s case–is not something so easily dismissed.

For now you can do nothing–nothing overt, at least–but they are primed to tear themselves apart.

It doesn’t take much to help that along.

Eighth, you almost regret.

He is the youngest, certainly, but you were once a child in war–surely if your sensei’s grand nephew were actually worthy, he would have survived.

Perhaps it’s the loss of the Mokuton that you regret.

The ninth was never truly a threat, a dreaming boy with no real claim.

But Konoha was built on dreams and you will not let some upstart stand in your way.

The White Fang of Konoha, a silly moniker that somehow strikes fear into enemy hearts.

As formidable on his own as Hiruzen’s brats are altogether.

No, this won’t do at all.

It is not enough for him to die, you need to destroy him utterly–his career, his reputation, his spirit.

You are ruthless with the tenth.

Every so often, you push them along–fifth and sixth and seventh succumbing to their own flaws–weaknesses that would have been exploited by enemies of Konoha.

Cowardice, fear, so quick to run away from what should be her only priority.

Obsessive and vain, so easy to distract and lead astray.

Foolish and sentimental, desperate for approval.

You are protecting your village by exposing them–what else reason could there be?

(You overreached with The Salamander, the man who titled Hiruzen’s students. You thought it would be a simple trade of services, a mutual extermination of brats.

But foreign shinobi are hardly worth the effort; the deal is dropped.

Konoha first.)

(Uzushio is a separate matter, but their lives are long and their memories longer.

Mito-sama was always biased against you.

Konoha will never be able to achieve its true potential with them forever poised above.)

Time marches on.

You uproot those you can, prune those you can’t, but they sprout like weeds beneath your feet.

That absolute infant that Hiruzen chooses may have made a name for himself during the war, but he is nothing more than dandelion fluff easily blown away in the breeze.

Konoha is better off without him.

You remember the first.

Uchiha that even the most stalwart Senju could trust.

There might as well be no more Senju, but the sentiment applies. Shisui follows in Kagami’s footsteps and the clan head’s brat has far too much potential.

You remember the first.

You remember that Konoha was built by two clans.

One is near to extinct. Surely the village can also survive without the other.

Hiruzen is old, weighed down by years and loss and having to put on the hat for a second time.

Or so he says.

You wouldn’t know, you’ve never worn it.

He is so completely unaware of all that you do for Konoha, so blind and soft. He walks amongst the villagers, a kindly, foolish grandfather instead of the unyielding pillar of strength that he should be.

He is a disgrace.

(He was your friend, once.

Now he is forever imprisoned within the belly of the Shinigami.)

(Kagami was your friend, once, too.)

Everything is just collateral damage.


A/N: … EURAGHRURH!! I’m disgusted with myself. But, okay, like. This is not meant to be apologetic or sympathizing for Danzo–I literally just wanted to experiment and see if I could get into his headspace and it… I dunno. Did it work? YEURGH, gross gross gross.

Brought about because of the massive hate-on for Danzo that’s going on in the discord, and the ongoing theory that he sabotaged every prospective Hokage candidate in the past fifty years. If it’s not clear who is who: 1 – Kagami Uchiha, 2 – Homura Mitokado, 3 – Koharu Utatane, and 4 – Torifu Akimichi were the other members of Team Tobirama. 5 – Tsunade, 6 – Orochimaru, 7 – Jiraiya. 8 – Nawaki (aka Tsunade’s younger brother). 9 – Dan Katou (aka Tsunade’s boyfriend). 10 – Sakumo Hatake. And then Minato who did succeed at getting the hat because his career trajectory was frankly ludicrous and too quick for Danzo to squash. And then Shisui and Itachi because those dang Uchiha.

I am not too keen on the ending (as per usual for me) given that I didn’t think I should end at the Chuunin Exams but I didn’t want to get into the whole Tsunade is Godaime and the whole constant undermining of her authority, even though I did kind of want to get to the point where Danzo dies? Should I have just stopped at the whole Uchiha it comes full circle thing? … maybe…

Arguably, if you ignore the line in the Torifu section, then this could be Naruto-canon compliant? But obviously I wrote it with DoS in mind. And I am hoping that Shikako is at least tangentially involved in Danzo’s downfall which is another reason why I didn’t go past the Chuunin Exams because… I have no idea what that downfall is going to look like. Fantastic, I assume.

I love your pkmn headcanon where growlithes are abundant in konoha b/c it’s the land of /fire/, aha. the uchiha police prob used a lot of arcanines and growlithes too! so, team7 is probably even weirder now because it’s shikako who is the one with a growlithe.

Land of Fire just thematically makes more sense if it’s because there’s an abundance of Fire types. I mean, I’m definitely not going by the traditional generations, so I might as well have some sort of organization. Which isn’t to say that other types can’t be found in different countries (especially near villages which deliberately cultivate different types) but naturally the types correspond.

Here’s the thing about the Growlithe and Arcanine, though, is that I’m still not entirely sure how to resolve the issue of Inuzuka’s ninken? Like. I already gave Kakashi the all dog team, and having all of an Inuzuka’s team be dogs kind of reduces the strong bond they have with their ninken equivalent. But I also don’t want the Inuzuka to only have ONE Pokemon (except for Hana, who would have three).

Hm… I don’t think I’d restrict the Inuzuka’s ninken to a specific species, so maybe some of them do have Growlithe/Arcanine?

But I digress–your question was about whether or not the Uchiha (and specifically, the Uchiha in the KMP) would also have Growithe/Arcanine. And I think yes, but it would be a “lesser Uchiha” kind of thing because they are so common. The Talonflame flocks are specifically bred–they’ve got pedigrees and such–to have a Growlith would be kind of like adopting a mutt. (Which, I mean, is MY dream to do, but beneath a Noble Clan).

So as the sons of the clan head, neither Itachi or Sasuke would have had a Growlithe, but some of the other Uchiha would have. Like Shisui, probably, given Arcanine are known for their high speeds (and majestic manes) and maaaybe Obito–though I do prefer the idea of him with a Cyndaquil, instead.

I have a feeling that Uchiha who did join the KMP probably all had a Salamence or a Haxorus–as a unifying species amongst the police officers, but also because it kind of contributes to how frightening and alienating the Uchiha became to the rest of the village. Like, these massive armored dragons? O_O


The future KMP would probably benefit from having Growlithes and Arcanines instead.


A/N: Check out the Ask Box Advent Calendar!

Fake Fic Title: “Fear Death By Water”. Shisui Uchiha (from the TS Eliot poem)

I had to look up this poem, anon, because my English education was not as expansive as it, perhaps, ought to have been? Anyway, I think I understand it but if I don’t, then uh… please enjoy this abstract interpretation?

So title alone, Fear Death By Water, is very much so a Shisui fic, but the content of the poem also rings very true. A premonition of doom and how all efforts in life are essentially made useless in death. Or, at least, “profit” and business efforts.

There’s a bit of futility in there that’s beautifully Shisui, but I wonder if it’s too on the nose for his last few weeks/days of life. Like… this title would be very apt for a fic for Shisui POV in the weeks up to the massacre.


Is this a time traveling!Shisui fic in the waiting, perhaps? Oh! Or, a time traveling!someone else but from Shisui’s POV?

… yeah, I think I like that better. BUT WHO?

The obvious choice would be Itachi–or maybe Sasuke–then again, there’s also Obito which would have international repercussions and not just internal Konoha consequences…

But you know who I would love to see more of in fic? Kisame.

And, like, okay. Hear me out: I know Itachi’s a stoic bastard and, his whole “actually a spy” thing wouldn’t have made him particularly chatty, but if fanon has it right (and I like to think it does for a lot of things) then Shisui was the most important person to Itachi (besides Sasuke, that is) and I like to think that he wouldn’t want to have his memory be completely forgotten even if he’s sharing it with a Mist nuke nin who he’s spying on.

So Kisame probably knows something about Shisui–and even after the whole “actually a spy for Konoha” I like to think he’s still somewhat fond of Itachi.

Mist is, as far as he’s concerned, a lost cause–though there is a possibility for a neat Zabuza and Haku cameo–but Itachi was kind of the closest thing he had to a best friend for years so…

And also, on principle, Danzo is just the WORST for him since Kisame hates lies. And Danzo is, like, the fount from which most lies in the Naruto ‘verse spring or something like that.

Anyway: time traveling!Kisame from Shisui’s POV.

Which, simply stated like that, I think has quite the potential for an interesting long fic. There’s drama, there’s mystery, there’s comedy, there could be romance?

I think Kisame has always been ludicrously powerful in canon–there wasn’t really any major bullshit power ups for him so much as it was he just never got pushed to the point of needing to use all of his power (HE TOOK ON A TAILED BEAST SOLO, WTF?!)–so him traveling back in time, whether into his younger self’s body or physically, wouldn’t make too much difference.

And that just means there’s a ridiculously powerful Mist nuke nin going around taking politically impactful actions.

And, like, can you imagine? A fic from Shisui’s POV in which first thing that happens is that Danzo, his own personal boogeyman and bane of his family, gets randomly assassinated by a random Mist nuke nin? Like… what?

Shisui was prepared to have his best friend MURDER him in order to protect said best friend and family and village (though, I mean, that second one didn’t really work out to plan) and instead it’s like… what the hell? What?

And at first, Konoha is like… DEFCON 1 we’ve been infiltrated and one of our Elders has been attacked… but then once Danzo’s UTTER BULLSHIT starts to get revealed, Konoha is just… oh. That’s… helpful?

Maybe they try to recruit Kisame? If they do, guess who’s on the team sent to track/recruit him? 😀

Uh… this has kind of gotten away from the prompt, I think, but it’s a pretty cool premise… right?


Ask Box Event Now Open!

This is kinda random, but I’ve had this in my head for a couple days now. Something really, REALLY bugs me about the Uchiha Massacre. Was Sasuke REALLY the last remaining Uchiha? Are you telling me that there was no Uchiha that was having an affair that lead to a bastard child? In a family of Trained Military Police, there was not a single person who was able to minimize at least a LITTLE damage, hid, or who played dead? Root didn’t have an Uchiha member (*stares suspiciously at Sai*)? (P1)




(p2) Also, was not a single Uchiha on the mission roster/on a mission, at the time? Or outside of the district for whatever reason? Kids sneaking out to play, teens going to visit a sweet-heart, shinobi out for some late-night training? REALLY? And the Uchiha was NOT A SMALL FAMILY. They were spared the losses of Kurama’s attack due to Danzo. People slip through cracks with those kinds of numbers. Sorry for the rant, but this has been bugging me lately.

(p3 an apologies for further comment) Also, was not a single medic able to do SOMETHING? We have blood replenishers, soldier pills, organ transplants, and so much more. Did not a single medic TRY to save the wounded they found? And someone HAD to have noticed the smell of GALONS OF BLOOD and/or have heard Sasuke SCREAMING, so medics would be called. The premise of the IN-VILLAGE massacre is believable with several individuals. Not with a major clan of 100-200+ members like I think they had.

Welcome to reason 27543782 for why that segment of the manga doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I wonder about these things. Canon tends to handwave things like logic which exasperates me, but on the other hand, this train wreck of weird writing decisions is partly why we linger on it so much as a hobby.

So let’s have fun going over a few of the points you brought up.

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I mean I get that Tobi and Itachi were prodigious near Kage-level shinobi but MISS ME with the idea that nobody not one even fought back

An Uchiha attacked in her own district wouldn’t fight for her life. She’d launch a fireball into the sky or set a house on fire, wake the clan, alert the village.

In a family district like that one scream would wake several others– a scream in a real life residential neighborhood has me looking out the window for any obvious crime or injuries going on; in a compound literally only composed of my blood relatives? Fuck you, I’d be out the Goddamn door so fast you’d think I’d teleported. In the political environment after the HYUUGA AFFAIR? At a time when you think most people don’t like the Uchiha?

So miss me with not one mother clutching a child and making it to the administration building. Can you even stop someone mid shunshin? Once they get that teleport jutsu off its like bye Cuz

Someone from Kumo literally snatched Hinata off the street and Hizashi had to be traded away to prevent world war 4. Go fuck yourself the Uchiha didn’t have protocols in place for their children dying in the night. And yeah maybe Itachi the traitor knew about those but ugh. Ugh.

So unrealistic you know?

Anyway Uchiha slipped through the cracks, bastards cropped up, people were on missions, and there’s still at least a dozen active Shinobi on the roster. And the kids who made it? Join the fuck up. It’s like the explosion of Vulcan federation members after the death of the planet. We were decimated but instead of joining the conservation effort we are going to fight and rebel and win against those who would see us gone tbh

Fucking fight me

Um… I don’t mean this in a hostile fighting way, but I wonder if there’s a way to resolve Sasuke as “the last Uchiha” and the impossibility of Itachi (and Obito) literally massacring the entire clan if you go into a matter of semantics?

As previously said, there has to have been some people who slipped through the cracks, but none who would own up to it (or know to do so, if you want to consider the possibility that Danzo did steal all of the non-Sasuke children). For some reason, their prodigy has seemingly just cracked and murdered, if not everyone, then a large majority of people named Uchiha. If I’d survived that, I’d sure as hell no longer go by that name, either. So there’s no more Uchiha clan as an organized entity. There are probably other Uchiha blooded, but none who would want to lay claim to the name (and baggage) that comes with it.

Also, while the Uchiha clan didn’t have the same set up of Main Family vs Branch Family as the Hyuuga did, it’s very likely that they had an internal hierarchy of some sort. Itachi as clan heir and then, arguably, clan head after he killed his own father and the various elders, has an authority over the fate of the clan. Those who did survive probably, understandably, took his actions as officially ending the clan. Sasuke, being a child, wouldn’t have known who the majority of his clan members were (I have an extended family of several dozen, and I only know at most thirty) and even if he did legally become clan head as of becoming a genin/adult, he wouldn’t know what resources (and possible “excommunicated” members”) were available to him.

However, I do think there weren’t that many survivors. Of the approximately 200-300 members I think at most two dozen would have survived (minus, again, the children that Danzo likely could have swooped in and absconded with). Because consider that most (if not all) of the Konoha Military Police Force was Uchiha–it contributes to the isolationism and the hoarding of power Danzo goaded/framed them with–which means that when an in-village disturbance occurs, it’s the KMP that respond (not the ANBU). 

Konoha is a huge village, so if we compare it to a modern city, then it’s not terribly surprising that none of the other clans didn’t respond. Not only is it an Uchiha matter, isolated to the Uchiha sector which is physically secluded from the rest of the village, but it’s assumed that the police will take care of it? And, well, the KMP responding to the noise would help Itachi/Obito/Danzo with the massacre.

Of course there are some Uchiha in the general shinobi forces, but I wouldn’t think more than a few dozen, and if this really was something that was premeditated, then Itachi/Obito/Danzo would have waited until most of them were in the village.

(It’s also very possible that, since the Uchiha elders were actually planning a coup, they were the ones who recalled all of the Uchiha members to have a meeting of sorts–possibly under the cover of some kind of holiday maybe? The Mangekyo forms are named after Japanese deities after all–and so Itachi/Obito/Danzo would know to strike during that time)

The clan was ready for a kidnapping, or even Konoha ANBU attacking them. They weren’t prepared for their own clan heir to go berserk.

Although that now makes me wonder how exactly Itachi went about it. Obviously he exaggerated how effective he was (to hide Obito’s existence) to Sasuke during the first Tsukuyomi, but perhaps it wasn’t as gory as it seemed. Maybe Itachi, polite and quiet and known by everyone in the clan, went to each house and did it silently. As in, he knocked on the door and greeted them, made as if he had a message from the elders regarding the coup. And of course they would let the clan heir come in, would prepare tea and snacks for him, wouldn’t think twice about turning their back to one of their own.

And if Itachi really was as skilled as he’s meant to be, genjutsu-wise or assassination-wise, then he could do this quietly. Yes, all it takes is one person to raise an alarm, but if you break it down into households, then it’s three to six trusting, unprepared people against the clan prodigy who has planned everything out. The next house over won’t hear anything, won’t find it odd when Itachi shows up at their house in a few minutes, they’re expecting a secret message from the clan head/elders regarding the coup, they’d probably even set up privacy seals to further make everything quiet.

… so I guess what I’m saying is, a little of both? It’s unrealistic to think that Sasuke is literally the only survivor, but Itachi and Obito taking out hundreds of people just the two of them is fairly feasible.

Also, given in canon Sasuke went even more insane and defected from Konoha a few months after becoming a genin/official adult/legal clan head, it’s not surprising that any survivors just continued to stay quiet.

The more I think about it, the more probable it is that there are in fact surviving Uchiha (again, in blood, not in name).

Primarily in the form of people with mixed heritage who, unlike Izumi Uchiha, were not invited back into the clan or refused the invitation after the Kyuubi attack. Like, it makes sense for Izumi (who was a child) and her mother (who was the Uchiha in the marriage) to accept the reconciliation after the death of her father–they lost a part of their household and needed that support structure–but there must have been others with Uchiha heritage who had been older than Izumi or who were additional generations removed who wanted nothing to do with the clan.

(Which sort of bodes well for a repopulation program, if Konoha isn’t completely put off by the madness that was Itachi and canon Sasuke’s defection, because it’s not trying to recreate the Sharingan with just Sasuke’s descendants.)

But I definitely agree with OP that Danzo must have taken the Uchiha kids for himself. And not just because Sai looks suspiciously like Sasuke (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he had partial Uchiha heritage), but because that whole “trainees must kill their partner to graduate thing” is, yes, a copy paste from Kiri’s graduation pre-Zabuza to reduce sentimentality in child soldiers, but it makes way more tactical sense when you consider that Danzo knows about the Mangekyo. He’s trying to forcibly activate the Mangekyo in his brainwashed child soldiers.

And it’s very believable that he would have had the opportunity to get the Uchiha kids either before or after Itachi and Obito kill all the adults. There might have been an Uchiha afterschool program for kids younger than Sasuke (or even same age and older, but his propensity for private training was a pre-massacre thing)–which isn’t unbelievable if both parents were still working shinobi. Itachi might have just thrown a mass genjutsu up and then Danzo had ROOT agents go in and scoop them all up during the massacre.

Or however Danzo was able to get his hands on a dozen Sharingan eyes–if there were other child survivors, they had far less political/emotional influence and wouldn’t have been as actively looked for/protected. Danzo knew ahead of time that the massacre was going to happen, so of course he’d put his own people on the clean up crew or on the hospital rotation, and really its only Sasuke that has to be publicly acknowledged as the messenger of “Itachi’s defection” and as the “last Uchiha,” upholder of the clan name.