Semi-Phenomenal, Nearly Cosmic: Or, Three Times Tobirama Accidentally Summoned Shikako (2016-06-30)

He is ten and just beginning to experiment with fuinjutsu–far too young, some would say, but if he’s old enough to fight and die for his clan then surely he’s old enough to risk dying for knowledge.

And, perhaps, in one universe that is what happens.

Of course, in another universe the seal succeeds without any issue and this day passes without anything memorable happening.

This is yet another universe, though. One where it doesn’t fail fatally, but it also doesn’t quite succeed either.

Instead of yes or no, this universe answers with a question of its own.

Tobirama tries to create a teleporting seal, and ends up summoning a person instead.

He’s not surprised, necessarily. That was the basis of this experiment, after all, trying to reverse engineer the normal animal summoning seals into something that can transport a human.

He was just expecting that person to be himself. Not some random stranger.

Thankfully, she’s a Nara–the clan’s symbol clearly embroidered on her clothes, though her armor is unlike any he’s seen before–and the Senju’s treaty with the Akimichi-Nara-Yamanaka alliance is one of the most reliable.

Yes, he could have done much worse and ended up with a hostile Uchiha on his hands–but still. It’s a stranger summoned where he expected none. It’s more than a bit alarming.

The girl is maybe only a few years older than him, but the scars and seals decorating her skin makes her seem older. As does the sharp look she sends his way, distracting him from the snaking shadow along the ground that freezes him in place.

“Who are you?” she asks, pulling out a pair of kunai from a pouch on her hip. Tobirama, in casual clothes, mimics her movements and only gets empty air in his hands.

A strong Nara, then. Only the strong ones can make the jutsu control their targets instead of just paralyze.

“I should be asking you that,” Tobirama says, because he is the Senju chief’s second son and it doesn’t matter if he’s making a poor showing of his clan at this moment, he is still representative of it, “This is Senju clan territory.”

“Senju clan–” she repeats, before biting off her words, brow furrowing, eyes darting around the small patch of forest Tobirama uses as his personal training grounds. She spots the wide scroll beneath her feet, covered in his fuinjutsu prototypes.

“Hiraishin,” she murmurs.

Tobirama very carefully doesn’t flinch. That’s what he was going to name his teleportation jutsu. He hasn’t told anyone.

“You’re… Tobirama Senju?” she asks, and this time he does flinch. Because though he may be the Senju chief’s second son, he is still only ten. No one should be able to recognize him on sight or know his name–not even their allies.

“How do you know–” he begins, only to be cut off.

“Tobirama!” he hears his brother cry out, voice wending its way through the trees. The Nara girl steps back and away–off the Hiraishin seal–and promptly disappears.

Tobirama hastily rolls up the scroll and vows to make adjustments so this doesn’t happen again.

In a week’s time, he tries out the Hiraishin again, and isn’t at all disappointed when it succeeds as planned.

He is fifteen and his brother has died, the Senju chief’s four sons whittled down to two.

He didn’t cry at Kawarama’s death and he’s not going to at Itama’s, but it still hurts. He’s sick of mourning for brothers lost. He doesn’t want to do it again.

Hashirama rambles on about peace, about a world where all clans work together instead of tearing each other apart, but Tobirama has always been a realist.

Dreams mean nothing without the sacrifice to make them reality. Words are empty puffs of air until chakra turns them into jutsu.

Tobirama throws himself into research and surfaces five weeks later with another prototype.

And mad, somewhat twisted hope.

What if he didn’t have to mourn dead brothers? What if he could bring them back?

A stray thought captured with seals. Spirituality wrangled into science.

Edo Tensei.

Hashirama wants peace to prevent more of his loved ones from dying.

Tobirama believes in efficiency.

It probably says something about him that he thinks death is less insurmountable than peace. Or maybe it’s just the world he lives in.

When he goes to his patch of forest–more and more his as the years go by, lined with traps that only he knows how to bypass–he prepares the Edo Tensei. He’s not so far gone that he’ll kill someone just to experiment with a seal, but he thinks a fallen deer will be suitable enough. Its about the same mass as a human, and if it fails then he can always bring home the meat for venison.

In another universe, this would do nothing–deer and humans being incomparable when it comes to souls–and he would shelve the Edo Tensei for another time.

But this is the universe that likes to play tricks, and so something strange occurs once more.

Tobirama would be lying if he said he never thought about that first attempt at the Hiraishin. But it’s true that he never really thought about it frequently–his clan is at war and he is one of the Senju’s strongest fighters, he has enough on his plate.

So when that same strange Nara girl appears, somehow the same age as before, he is both bewildered and unsurprised.

“Oh,” she says, as if this also bewildering yet unsurprising to her.

“Hello again,” Tobirama says, because to be honest, he thinks he would rather deal with an unknown Nara than actually have succeeded at reviving one of his brothers with a deer, even if that was what this whole seal was for. “I never got your name,” he adds, because that has been bugging him for the past five years in a small, niggling sort of way.

“Nara,” she replies unhelpfully. Before looking straight down at the scroll beneath her feet. “This isn’t the Hiraishin,” she remarks, head tilting this way and that to read the inked characters.

“No, it isn’t,” he says, equally unhelpful, because two can play at that game.

She sighs, getting the point, “Shikako Nara,” she amends.

“That’s the Nara clan head’s naming scheme, isn’t it?” he asks, though he already knows the answer.

“My father is clan head, and my brother will be after him,” she answers.

The current clan head is a woman.

Tobirama says as much.

Shikako taps her foot.

He rolls his eyes, “Edo Tensei.”

“Ah,” she says, pursing her lips for a long moment as if contemplating a difficult decision, before she continues, “You’re missing something. As it is right now, you’ll never be able to summon a specific person; you need to have their DNA or modify each seal per person. Otherwise you’ll end up pulling random souls from out of nowhere.”

“What would you know about it?” he asks, near to bristling as this stranger talks about his original technique as if she’s an expert.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” she deflects, which works, annoyingly enough. “My father is the sixteenth clan head. My brother will be the seventeenth.”

The Nara clan isn’t that old.

Yet.

In order for teleportation to work, seals must subvert space and time. Death is beyond both.

She smiles. “It’s called Konohagakure,” she says, shifting her arms to show off the metal plate sewn onto her sleeve, a leaf engraved in its center.

His brother’s dream comes true.

“You always were my favorite Hokage,” she adds, dropping that conversational bomb and–by stepping backwards–disappearing immediately.

Apparently, Tobirama has work to do.

They meet again. Several times, actually, though usually on purpose. Shikako never seems to mind–then again, that may be because she doesn’t appear to age each time he summons her. For all he knows, each meeting occurs consecutively for her, while for him they are months and years apart.

She drops hints about the future, but only ever when she wants to–never when he tries to trick it out of her. He stops trying after the third time and just asks her directly. If she says no, then that’s fine, she usually gives him some other tidbit of info in exchange.

Getting to see a finished Sword of the Thunder God was worth the tight-lipped refusal on the fate of the Uchiha clan.

Or so he thought at the time.

But Madara has defected, baying for blood, and the Kyuubi is running rampant. Tobirama knows his brother is strong and that Mito is powerful in her own right, but Madara has always been his brother’s weakness and how can one human compare to a bijuu?

They are forces of nature given will, gods compared to mere mortals…

… mortals compared to gods?

It is a stray thought, but Tobirama feels almost guided in this direction. His greatest fuinjutsu techniques have always been about summoning: summon himself, summon the dead, and now–

Summon the Shinigami.

He knows that doing so may make his life forfeit–but he would rather himself than his brother. Rather himself than their fledgling village with clans only tentatively attempting peace–he is prepared to die.

But this universe has other plans.

Tobirama was always her favorite Hokage.

~

A/N: I’m gonna be honest… this was a loooot better in my brain and I considered not posting it, but I’ve been working on this for two days and it seemed kinda a waste not to?

Anyway, not shippy, but I’ve kinda been having Tobirama feels for non-DoS related reasons and then I remembered that Tobirama is Shikako’s favorite Hokage and well, I thought, why not do something with that?

Of course, I didn’t articulate it as well as I had hoped… and I maybe got distracted and gave up about two-thirds of the way through, but mreh. I have no idea what’s happening on Shikako’s end–is she dead and thus god in this universe? Is she caught in some weird time/dimension-traveling fuinjutsu accident? I dunno.

Title is a vague reference to Genie from Aladdin.

I’ll probably clean this up/rewrite this before I put it up on ao3…

(In)Difference (2016-06-26)

(Five Teachers Kiyoshi Might Have Had)

Utsugi Kiyoshi stands alongside Katou Dan and Mokume Kunugi and waits for their sensei to appear.

Their sensei, Shimura Danzo.

Kiyoshi tries not to scream.

She manages to hold off until she is alone, at home, a pillow pressed over her face.

Her parents think it is excitement and nerves and, well, they’re not wrong exactly.

Because any hope of not being tangled up in the story of Konoha to be has been irrevocably shot.

She’s not entirely sure what to do–just knows that she won’t stand idly by as Shimura Danzo twists Konoha on itself.

Maybe she’ll stop him or maybe she’ll help him or maybe she’ll usurp him entirely.

But she needs must do something–either that, or she’ll die trying–and isn’t that just the absolute worst of it.

~

Utsugi Kiyoshi stands alongside Katou Dan and Mokume Kunugi and waits for their sensei to appear.

Their sensei, Uchiha Kagami.

Kiyoshi doesn’t hide her confusion.

Mostly because… it doesn’t make any sense and she doesn’t know what else to feel otherwise.

An Uchiha? She doesn’t even know which Uchiha this is–if he’s at all related to the specific Uchiha that will come later.

Doesn’t know if he’ll have children and grandchildren, if he’ll live to see Itachi or Obito kill him or if he’ll be dead long before that.

What is she supposed to do? Can she do anything?

Well, at the very least, she can get accustomed to how the Sharingan works. Just in case.

Utsugi Kiyoshi stands alongside Katou Dan and Mokume Kunugi and waits for their sensei to appear.

Their sensei, Mitokado Homura.

Kiyoshi treads lightly.

She doesn’t know much about him–just that he was the Hokage’s teammate, held a place on the Council, and at some point will fall prey to Danzo whether by Sharingan or just normal human manipulation.

Either way, it’s a precarious situation. She’s not sure how any of her actions may change the future–if it will at all. For all she knows, this was meant to be and nothing she does will change anything.

For now, she’ll watch and wait. It’s what her sensei would advise, after all.

Utsugi Kiyoshi stands alongside Katou Dan and Mokume Kunugi and waits for their sensei to appear.

Their sensei, Utatane Koharu.

Kiyoshi smiles, bright and sharp.

She’s met Koharu before, during the special club from kunoichi classes. Nae-chan.

Koharu was never a Nae-chan–too noticeably skilled and part of the Utatane clan on top of that–but she had been the only kunoichi on Team Tobirama. The only kunoichi on the Sandaime Hokage’s Council, and Mito-sama’s (the Nae-chan program’s) connection to legitimacy.

She almost wants to cry because maybe this is a sign–some kind path already forged that won’t make her leave her dreams behind.

Maybe Kiyoshi will never be a Nae-chan, but she can still help, still be a part of it.

She’s not alone.

Utsugi Kiyoshi stands alongside Katou Dan and Mokume Kunugi and waits for their sensei to appear.

Their sensei, Akimichi Torifu.

Kiyoshi gives a quiet sigh of relief.

Given the jounin sensei for the other genin team in their year, she had feared the worst. But Akimichi Torifu is still a respectable choice–more than, actually, given who the genin are.

Minor clans at best, and none of them particularly prestigious at that. But the Akimichi have always been the most open of the four Noble clans, and it actually makes sense in a way.

They are no Ino-Shika-Cho, not yet–three strangers put on a team and told to risk their lives together–but if anyone could get them near to it, it would be an Akimichi.

She’s not afraid.

~

A/N: I kinda just wanted to go through potential jounin sensei for my (In)Difference team and figure out which I like best. Since I think best when I articulate by yelling or writing, I figured I ought to at least get a post out of it.

I’m leaning most towards Akimichi Torifu just because I don’t really want to plunge Kiyoshi headfirst into “does fate determine my actions” existential crisis right away and I can probably finagle the others into appearing one way or another. Also considering Homura and Kagami…

I really don’t want her to end up as Danzo’s student. And given what I have written for Koharu, she’ll have a role in the story regardless? I dunno…

Hi! Thanks for replying to my AO3 questions! So I hope you don’t mind but here’s another: so far your Shikako becomes Hokage are all centred pretty early in the series so what about Shikako who becomes a Hokage after the whole moon country arc? I know it’s not likely but just wondering what you think the clan / citizens response would be

Hahaha…

um…

So, I guess the more face-saving reason is that I’m going vaguely chronologically? In the sense that “she who kills the kingslayer” happens during the Konoha Chuunin Exams then comes “she who ousts the traitor” which is after she gets hit by Tsukuyomi and then “she who seizes the throne” starts actually where DoS canon is now (as of chapters in the early 100s). 

The more embarrassing reason is that I haven’t actually read/watched all of Naruto Shippuden. I mean, I know what happens in it because of spoilers/wiki pages… but I’m… more of a fan of the world than the canon, if that makes any sense. Which is why I’m so fond of DoS because it repackages Naruto canon in a way that I find more palatable and, actually, with far less plot holes so…

In short, I’m basically coming up with these as I read DoS and branching off from there.

The Queen’s Council brainstorm/review response (2016-06-21)

Oh, wow, that’s a lot of questions. I guess the easiest (and arguably most important) to answer would be the matter of the Nara clan regarding one of their own being the Hokage.

And right off the bat I can say, very surprised. Because here’s the thing. The Nara clan are all very intelligent. That, almost more than their shadow jutsu, is what they’re known for. But they’re also known for being really unambitious. Like–they excel in their chosen fields despite their laziness.

The position of Jounin Commander? It’s not actually a hereditary one–it just looks like it, because for the past three generations (if not more) the most qualified person to wrangle elite jounin and deploy Konoha’s troops strategically has happened to be a Nara. Specifically, the Nara who has been groomed to lead people as a matter of birth (as opposed to the other members of the clan who are more than happy to fall into place). Head of the Nara Clan and Jounin Commander has become conflated over the years, but they’re not actually the same.

Additionally, the Nara aren’t a Noble clan or particularly prestigious. As I said previously, their three most distinctive qualities are their intelligence, laziness, and their shadow jutsu–which isn’t even a blood limit. Technically, anyone can do shadow jutsu, it just takes a non-Nara way more chakra to do it.

So it’s my personal belief that the Akimichi (as one of Konoha’s four Noble clans) were, in the Warring Clans Era, the liege clan to the Yamanaka and Nara vassals. I forget where exactly I’ve read this, but likely it’s something like–the Akimichi owned the land while the Nara tended their herds and the Yamanaka their agriculture. And, you know, that evolved over time–servants becoming allies becoming friends–but there’s still a hint of hierarchy?

Basically, no one ever expected a Hokage to come from the Ino-Shika-Cho clans–and even if they did, money probably would have been on an Akimichi. Simply because, given that the Hokage must be the strongest shinobi in the village (or, at the very least, have a strong enough battle presence that they can do the position justice) of the three clans the Akimichi are the ones who are heavy hitters (pun not intended).

It’s only lately (Shikaku, passing on variant techniques to his children) that the Nara shadow jutsu have become more than just paralyze/control. And it’s been stated that most Nara focus and specialize on the shadow jutsu as opposed to branching out.

I mean, obviously, Shikako is unique to the Nara clan–having other skills to fall back on. In fact, the shadow jutsu aren’t even her main staple in battle. But as a whole, the Nara clan isn’t what anyone in Konoha would call… legendary.

So, yes, the Nara clan is very surprised to see one of their own wearing the hat. But given in this iteration (she who ousts the traitor) it was because of her outmaneuvering Danzo (or, at least, turning the clans against Danzo via politics) that, at least, is a very Nara way to become Hokage.

As for the matter of reinstating Uzu–that is, granting the Uzumaki “clan” a seat in the senate, well… she basically guilted everyone into voting unanimously, so there some mixed feelings. Not all good.

This is how I think everyone voted originally (before the guilt tripping) and why:

Senju: yes – seeing as how the Senju is a clan of one and that one is Tsunade who very obviously has a soft spot for Naruto and, you know, is herself an Uzumaki descendant. I don’t see why she would vote any other way.

Uchiha: yes – again, similar to Tsunade, except with Sasuke. And given he is also a twelve/thirteen year old head of a clan of one, he doesn’t see why Naruto shouldn’t also get the full (boring) benefits of having a seat in the senate.

Hyuuga: no – they very clearly value their hierarchy and wouldn’t really approved of one such person being elevated above their status. And it’s not even really anything against Naruto personally–because Minato was well-respected as Hokage and Kushina a very powerful shinobi in her own right–but there’s a difference between strength and nobility (as a social class)

Aburame: no – again, not out of anything personal, mostly just that they don’t really see why Sasuke has a vote and don’t think that should also be extended to Naruto. They’re okay with Tsunade, even the is also a clan of one, because they’re a matriarchal society and also Tsunade is an adult and one of the legendary Sannin at that. Like… arguably her decisions would have the weight of experience and maturity, whereas two teenaged boys who don’t speak on behalf of anyone besides themselves (they are clans of one) shouldn’t be given so much power.

Inuzuka: maybe? – this one I’m kind of unsure about because, on the one hand, they don’t see anything wrong with Naruto/the Uzumaki clan having what arguably should be his. Inuzuka loyalty and all that. But on the other hand, it might seem like a puppy being told to go make his own pack or go be a lone wolf. Is he prepared? Probably not.

Akimichi: surprisingly, no – this one is more in line with the puppy going off on his own. Naruto just isn’t ready. Akimichi are really big on PROTECT THE CHILDREN. They’d probably suggest something like… have a rank cap or something–once he hits jounin, then he can get the seat. (Even though Sasuke already has one and he’s teeechnically still a genin, too. And, you know, the Hokage also).

Nara: probably? – they’re still mostly bewildered at having one of their own be Hokage and implementing such radical changes in the government that they kinda just go along with whatever she wants.

Yamanaka: it depends – even if the clan head (and, thus, the senate seat holder) isn’t Inoichi, I feel like the Yamanaka would be able to tell where this proposal is going to go. Like… if a Nara knows what an enemy is going to do three steps ahead in battle, a Yamanaka probably knows what someone is going to argue even before the subject is brought up. Obviously, the Hokage has proposed giving the Uzumaki clan a seat for a reason. And given she’s the Hokage because she was able to convince the clans that Danzo was scum of the earth, it’s not hard to predict that she’ll be able to convince them to do this thing. So… probably yes, just because they’re too intuitive not to know what Shikako wants.

And then all the guilt tripping changes the votes of the Hyuuga, Aburame, (and Inuzuka, maybe), and Akimichi (though, really, their original no wasn’t all that firm of one anyway). Hiashi probably maintains some degree of begrudging disgruntlement (ahahaha, surprise you asshole, Naruto’s going to be your son-in-law, probably) but he’s already given in once and Shikako is definitely going to use this as a foothold to give other people seats in the senate.

The Aburame clan matriarch is kinda… well, if she’s Shibi’s mother (as I theorized in the original Hail To The Queen chapter) then she’s probably old enough to have had been a active shinobi before Uzushio fell. She would have had friends from Uzu, probably including Uzumaki, and given how old Mito was? She probably remembers her and how much she did for the village, even after her husband (and children? like…. what happened to Tsunade’s parents and uncles/aunts?) died. The Uzumaki isn’t much now, but maybe they will be, and so they say yes more out of a desire to honor the past and welcome the future than for Naruto himself. The Aburame are both detail-oriented AND big-picture people.

In the future, Shikako does go about adding more clans to the senate (though, no more one-people clans; sorry, Kakashi). And, eventually, a way to represent non-clan shinobi (maybe by job description? Or geographic population? I’m not sure). This particular Shikako wants her reign to be as transparent and non-dictatorial as possible.

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 3/? (2016-06-20)

(three: she who seizes the throne)

“This is not a story.”

She thinks of her brother, missing one arm. She thinks of her best friend, eyes split through with a pupil like cracked glass.

She looks at her own scars, the skin thick and unfeeling, marking out her just-barely-made-it survival.

Sasuke, she has kept in Konoha, sure. But for how long?

How long until reality exerts itself once more on this fragile fairy tale existence?

Cloud is threatening war. Dawn is on the horizon. The moon waxes fuller.

There are things lurking in Konoha’s shadows, things Tsunade will not be able to heal. Nor Kakashi fend off. Nor Naruto redeem.

They don’t know what they’re up against. They won’t know how to handle it.

“This is reality.”

Once, when they were young men in their prime, Hiruzen Sarutobi was given the title “God of Shinobi.”

A lofty reputation, to be sure, but one that he would live up to.

In contrast, Danzo received the monicker “Shinobi of Darkness” and no one ever knew how fully he embodied it until someone rips it from his hands.

It takes a Nara to properly control the shadows.

The world doesn’t stop just because Naruto leaves for three years. It keeps going: training and missions and injuries and kills.

Shikabane-hime. The Corpse Princess.

Not something her sunny-eyed idealist absentee teammate would appreciate, but Shikako has always been a pragmatist.

There is power in names.

The last Sealing Master Konoha had was a bright-eyed orphan prodigy who damn near wore his skills and his heart on his sleeve. The Yellow Flash, flee-on-sight, who burned out like a firework far before his time.

Danzo would never be threatened by someone like that.

But she is one of many Nara–intelligent, yes, but sleepy-eyed and lazy. Unambitious. A silly girl who holds meetings with other kunoichi to discuss healing techniques and who plays games with children.

No, Danzo sees no threat there either.

In his arrogance, he’s forgotten the first rule of shinobi: to look underneath the underneath.

She doesn’t start with Sai.

No, that would be dangerous; too obvious.

In this game he is one of her silver generals, though he doesn’t know it yet. She cannot afford to play him too early on.

But she knows what his seal feels like, has been trained to spot the smallest anomalies in chakra.

She can find pawns easily enough.

Ones that are more… expendable.

No matter how many games she played against Naruto–no matter how quick his learning curve–he has never won a game of shogi against Shikako.

Oh, the clones are eager enough to suggest moves, willing to sacrifice themselves to the cause. They are Naruto, and he will always try to throw himself in front of a killing blow meant for someone else. But as a player–as the King–he never could give the orders.

She’s seen it before, he doesn’t have what it takes. Wants to save everyone, but doesn’t know how to go about it. An impractical, impossible dream.

He is a strong shinobi–will undoubtedly become the strongest–and charming in his own way.

But leadership requires more than that.

It is one thing to offer an already hesitating child alternate options, then convince him to choose one that benefits you both. It’s another thing entirely to tell a brainwashed soldier to turn on his master and obey you instead.

Some matters require a gentler touch. The Yamanaka would know all about that.

Fu has always been a bit of a conundrum to her–unlike the Nara, the Yamanaka clan’s abilities are a blood limit. To extend their consciousness beyond their bodies and control someone else with it? It’s not something that just anyone can do. But it’s also a skill that needs to be honed, techniques that need to be taught.

Fu knows Yamanaka clan techniques, understands it enough to develop variants.

Danzo let Fu Yamanaka keep his name for a reason.

There is power in names.

Power she will gladly take for herself.

Ironically, ANBU is the safest place Sasuke can be right now. He’s too busy training to stumble upon certain secrets better left in the dark. Secrets that soon will be hers to handle.

Which is just as well. Sasuke is not her king, but he is a very important piece and she can’t risk losing him quite yet.

Just in case, though, she makes sure she has frequent training sessions with him. If he ends up with another seal on him, she’ll know immediately, and adapt accordingly.

She has to trust that Jiraiya is taking good care of her other gold general.

If Fu Yamanaka is one of Danzo’s gold generals, then Torune Aburame is the other.

And as soon as she gets the former, the latter is halfway hers.

Kakashi-sensei catches on surprisingly quickly, considering he’s not often around to witness her side project. But, then again, he’s always been unfairly perceptive when it comes to secrets not his own.

He doesn’t stop her–not that he could; not without putting her in danger. And if there’s one fear the legendary jounin Sharingan no Kakashi has, it’s this: being the cause of one of his precious people’s downfall.

Which, in other words, means failing to protect one of his precious people.

No, Kakashi-sensei won’t stop her. Which means he can be of use.

The drop rule is unique to shogi, something which had originally tripped her up; mind more familiar with Western chess before she learned the ways of the Nara clan.

It goes as thus: a captured piece can be brought back into play under the capturing player’s control on any turn in any empty square.

In this game, all of the pieces started off as Danzo’s.

But that is not to say some of them haven’t already been captured and dropped before she even began playing.

Yamato or Tenzo or Kinoe, no matter: he makes a decent knight.

This is not the kind of undertaking that one can rush, nor would she want to.

When Naruto returns, she is still in play. Still enacting moves even as she helps deal with the more obvious threats to Konoha.

But this was always going to be a long game, and while she’s not naturally patient, she’s always been pretty talented at seeing three steps ahead of her opponents.

Let Danzo think he stands alone in the dark, the only wielder of light in his underground kingdom. He’ll ruin his vision, and fail to see her before it’s too late.

And anyway, a real shinobi of darkness wouldn’t need a light.

Wouldn’t want it, either.

Tsunade steps down, never really wanting the position in the first place. Eager to pass the responsibilities and memories on to someone else.

Kakashi, too, is a placeholder–keeping it safe for his student. Ostensibly, the choice is obvious; though within the privacy of his own mind he’s never quite sure which one.

When it comes time for Konoha’s Nanadaime to be chosen, he hesitates. Not for long, not noticeable for anyone to see, but just enough.

Enough for Shikako to nod her head and smile.

A hat and robes. Everyone knowing your name and face. Watching every action, no secrets or shadows allowed. Who would want that?

Look underneath the underneath.

Let Naruto play at being king. Shikamaru is Jounin Commander. Sasuke, Head of ANBU. Her friends and allies all fall into place: chiefs and department heads and commanders. Generals, knights, lances, bishops, and rooks.

Why be the king–a mere piece on the board–when she can be the queen playing instead?

~

A/N: This one’s for @tenderwenders who wanted the line “All shadows bow to my will.” And… well, even though I didn’t manage to fit the exact words, this was highly inspired by it so…

I guess, technically, this isn’t Hokage!Shikako, but the spirit of it still counts? Yeah?

I wanted to emphasize more on the parallels between Sandaime vs Danzo and Naruto vs Shikako as the “God of Shinobi” vs “Shinobi of Darkness” but then it all became this giant shogi metaphor and then I couldn’t pull myself back on track. So it’s this weird mash up of both…

God, I felt so devious when writing this! Like, Shikako’s cunning and ruthlessness cranked up to the max is just so frightening.

Winter in the Fields, a DoSxGreek Mythology fusion fic (2016-06-19)

Over time, the story will change.

It will grow and shrink in turn–certain parts exaggerated, others removed completely. Some events, entirely unrelated, will somehow end up integral to the story.

That is the nature of rumors turning into legends. History turning into myth. Politics misconstrued as romance, an alliance interpreted as marriage. Mercenaries turned into heroes, and heroes turned into gods.

But at the heart of every story is a truth, and in this case the truth is this:

The Corpse Princess was kidnapped by the King of Flowers, and she escapes because of a fruit.

Shikako wakes up.

Which, shouldn’t be all that surprising. But given the last thing she remembers is being kidnapped with chloroform and trying to escape it by using a Touch Blast? Well.

There are many ways that could have ended. Or, rather, one other way in particular.

Take, for example, the Touch Blast eating up the very last bit of her chakra. Ending in her death.

Or, even if she still had enough chakra after that, she just planted a bomb next to her face. Ending in her death.

And kidnapping doesn’t exclude murder–the former is known to lead to the latter. Ending in her death.

So, yes, when Shikako wakes up, it would be accurate to say that no one is more surprised than her.

Here is the thing about the Kusagakure: they do not have any S-rank shinobi.

This is partially out of nature–smaller villages don’t often produce S-rank shinobi, due to a lack of resources, mostly, but also lack of need–and partially by design.

Because those with potential to become S-rank shinobi are sacrificed to the Box of Ultimate Bliss.

The Elemental Nations are in a constant state of war–whether cold war or actual–that is simply how this world works.

It’s something Shikako has become accustomed to, over the years. More than, actually, given who her father is and who her brother will be. Who her teammates might have been and might very well still become.

She does not have the luxury of ignoring potential acts of war.

She just never thought that she’d be one of them.

“Once you tell me how you defeated it, you can go home,” says the man known to Shikako only as King of Flowers. He is the only one that speaks to her, the guards that bring her meals as lifeless as shades.

It would be smart of him, to keep such a secret technique to himself, since it would undermine his power if there actually was a technique to keep secret. As it is…

“I didn’t,” Shikako says, for what must be the hundredth time, tired and always so hungry. She doesn’t have access to a window–no, it’d be far too easy to escape if she did–and so she doesn’t know how many days have passed.

She is underground–no sunlight, no chakra, no hope.

The King of Flowers leaves her, and with him goes her only source of conversation.

Just as well, his small talk sucks.

In one timeline, Muku of the Kantokusha Clan was one such youth with great potential sacrificed to the Box of Ultimate Bliss.

(Of course, that is not how any parent would phrase it–for, indeed, he was meant to open the box not be consumed by it–but that is what would have happened all the same.)

Instead, his father hesitated. Just enough to think things through. Oh, he still believed his son would be the one to open the Box of Ultimate Bliss–would return Kusagakure to its former glory–but not yet. For if a child could be worthy, then wouldn’t a teenager be more so?

No, Mui would wait until his son was older to open the box.

Too bad Muku had other plans.

“Perhaps I could try, Father,” Muku says, as deferential as possible.

Maybe it is because his father has been so frustrated at his own lack of progress in interrogating the Nara girl. So annoyed at having to answer to the other members of the Grass Flowers faction.

So afraid of the growing tensions amongst the big five villages.

Foisting blame onto Cloud may have postponed Leaf’s well-deserved fury, but the ruse would only last for so long and Land of Grass is still a small buffer country. Even if Leaf continues to think their missing genin lost because of Cloud, there may be war soon, and Kusagakure will suffer when Rock comes to their allies’ aid.

His father’s decision to maintain their clan’s supremacy may very well plunge the entire Elemental Nations into war.

It is not a light burden to carry, and he is distracted.

“Yes, my son,” his father agrees, eyes tired and unheeding, “You are the only one I can trust with this.”

The factions of Kusagakure have detailed histories and many, varied motives. That would be another tale in and of itself, but for the sake of this story the difference is this:

Grass Flower wanted to open the Box of Ultimate Bliss.

Grass Fruit did not.

So one could see how, as the boy supposedly slated to open the box, Muku of the Kantokusha clan would be assumed to be part of Grass Flower.

The Nara girl looks sick when Muku sees her. Also, quietly pissed off, but that one’s understandable.

Outside her cell, Muku stands and waits in silence–he has a lot of experience with that, especially recently.

“The king couldn’t get the answer he wanted, so he sends the Prince of Flowers instead?” the girl asks, voice barely louder than a whisper, but audible enough.

Muku knows from the guards that the Nara girl calls his father King of Flowers–which isn’t too far off, given his influence within the faction. He also knows that she hasn’t been eating much: worried about drugs in the food, no doubt. And rightly so.

He shrugs, in response “I send myself. And I know you have been telling the truth. I was there, I know you didn’t escape my jutsu. You fought without chakra, and won without chakra.”

She laughs, a meager exhalation of air that could just easily be a scoff.

Through the small grate allotted for food trays, he rolls her an apple–harder to tamper with in secret. Hopefully she’ll eat it. More importantly, maybe she’ll understand what it means.

“Gather your strength, Shikabane-hime,” he says, a pointed reference to her own royal moniker, “You may very well have to escape without chakra, too.”

It’s not too long after, that events start to get a little mixed up.

Konoha’s Team Seven, heedless of the Hokage’s half-hearted protests, blazes into Land of Grass to rescue their own. Lightning crackles ominously, fire spreads across the fields, the wind claws great gouges into the earth, and trees sprout angrily where none have been before–sky and land, nature itself balking at the Corpse Princess’ kidnapping and imprisonment.

The Grass Fruit faction, growing braver as their their fear of another world war comes closer to reality, decide to raid the Blood Prison–though no such siege has ever been successful before–in an attempt to end Grass Flower’s dominance.

Within the walls of the prison, a riot breaks out: prisoners steadily adapting to their lack of chakra, yet retaining their deadly educations. And grudges.

All guards and Grass Flower shinobi available are called to handle the escalating situations.

They will never have a better chance than this.

Muku remembers how fragile the Nara girl’s bones had been. How easily he snapped her arm, how gentle he had to be for the rest of the fight.

He had not wanted her dead then, even as she strangled him with her hair, and he does not want her dead now.

He protects her as they escape. Stealth is their best tool in this–he knows the walls well and can avoid the majority of the rioting. The few enemies they encounter are easily taken care of, for it seems Shikabane-hime remains singular in her ability to defeat shinobi even without chakra.

He is not expecting a wall to explode.

For a brief moment, Shikako loses consciousness. Her ears ring from the blast as well as her head bouncing against the ground.

The Prince of Flowers meant well in throwing himself on top of her, but he is still heavier than she can handle right now.

There is dust in the air and luminescent spots in her eyes, but she can still sense well enough.

“Sensei,” she calls out weakly, so relieved.

But then Muku’s body is pulled off hers roughly, killing intent spilling into the air, the crackling of a familiar jutsu across her senses.

“Sensei!” she calls out again, this time panicked, “Wait, don’t!” Except for Naruto, the chidori cannot be undone. “He helped me!” She says, half stumbling half crawling to where Kakashi’s chakra stands.

Two pairs of hands–both so familiar–help support her when she tries to rise. Team Seven reunited.

“He helped me escape,” she gasps, when her eyes finally take in the scene, Kakashi holding Muku up by his shirt, the lightning crackling in his hand barely constrained. “Killing him won’t help me,” she says.

Later, she won’t be able to remember if she had meant to be so pointed. Bitter from imprisonment, exhausted and dazed.

“Who, then?” Kakashi asks, a barely leashed attack dog just needing a target.

“Mui of the Kantokusha clan…”

An alternative provided, Kakashi drops Muku, who collapses awkwardly to the ground, before continuing, “… my father,” he chokes out, preemptive grief and shortness of breath, both.

Sharingan no Kakashi goes to dispense his wrath, leaving his students to watch Muku mourn his father’s death.

History will say that it was premeditated: Muku having his father killed by foreign ninja in order to become head of the Kantokusha clan and switch its allegiance to Grass Fruit.

Legend will say that he betrayed his father after falling in love with the Corpse Princess, turning to his family’s enemies for aid; the two lovers eloping in a land far away.

Occasionally, Muku will even be written out completely–father and son conflated into one person; the King of Flowers so enchanted by the girl that he kidnaps her for himself.

Sometimes, the Box of Ultimate Bliss will receive a much larger role in the tale than it deserves. And often, Team Seven’s temporary fourth member, known only as Tenzo, will be interpreted as a woman.

That is the nature of stories, changing over time. But it is not so far from truth:

A lightning wielding father avenging his daughter. Her brothers of wind and fire scorching the lands that imprison her.

The Corpse Princess escaping from the King of Flowers because of a Fruit.

~

A/N: Aaaaaaah, okay. So, I was trying to go for a reverse Persephone – Hades thing. Unsure how well that came across, but hopefully it was an enjoyable read anyway.

How To Adult Properly (And Maybe Heal Some People While We’re At It), a series of Team Medic ficlets 2/? (2016-06-12)

Youbirin finds Jiro at their usual table in the hospital cafeteria, a row of emptied coffee cups standing silent guard around the piles of paperwork being furiously scribbled upon. He sidles his way into an empty chair, cradling his own paper cup of bland tea above the pages of what looks to be a step by step explanation of one of Jiro’s neural ninjutsu.

Sakura joins them ten minutes later, an expression of such dread written on her face that it leaves both he and Jiro confused. Her shift at the hospital isn’t for another hour, at least.

Wisely, Jiro silently hands over a cup of coffee and otherwise stays absolutely still.

Youbirin, unfortunately, is far less savvy even after all these years. “What happened to you?” he asks, earning Sakura’s attention and the brunt of her misdirected disgust.

“I caught my parents having sex,” she intones, voice flat and full of despair, that at first Youbirin isn’t sure he heard her correctly.

Jiro grimaces in commiseration, and though Youbirin doesn’t quite understand–he grew up in the Nohara complex, a pair of apartment buildings and the smaller family run hospital, everyone packed in together with limited sense of privacy–he manages to stay quiet.

“I guess they didn’t think I was in the house?” She explains, the hand not caught in a frenzied grip around her coffee, clutched desperately in her bright hair, “I don’t know, I was sleeping mostly, but then I heard noises and I thought maybe one of them hurt themselves. So of course I went to check and then…” She concludes with a full body shudder, taking a swig of her coffee as if to fortify herself.

“I need to move out,” she says, and at first Youbirin assumes it is an exaggeration–much the same way their ‘could have been’ game is–that he laughs.

Except, after a beat, he realizes he is the only one laughing.

“What, you’re serious?” He asks, eyes darting between his genin teammates, “That’s an overreaction, don’t you think?”

Sakura sighs, chugs the last of her coffee, and runs her hands through her hair again.

“I don’t know. Not really?” She begins, “I mean, it’s not just because of that. I’m an adult, you know? A jounin combat medic and I still live in my childhood bedroom in my parents’ house and, oh. I suppose I am a little happy that my parents are still so in love, though I’d rather not witness it. I know it could have been worse–I could have caught one of my parents with some stranger, cheating, which would have been terrible. Oh, I don’t even know where I’m going with this!”

Jiro gives a sideways smile, “You need your own space now,” he suggests.

To which Sakura nods in agreement, “Yes! That, exactly.”

Jiro nods back, the two of them bobbing their heads in pleased unison, while Youbirin watches in bemused amusement.

“Me, too,” Jiro says, finally, once they’ve finished their nodding.

“What, you caught your parents in the act?” Youbirin asks.

“Ha! No, thankfully,” he says, while Sakura gives another full body shudder, assaulted by memories. “I just meant, I’ve been thinking about moving out, too. It’s a little… strained… living with my parents, lately”

“Why?” Sakura asks, curious and surprised. She’s met the Watanabes before, all of them have met each other’s parents at one point or another, and they had been kind. And while Jiro’s parents were not so outgoing as her own parents, they were still very nice.

Jiro gives a sigh of his own, before mumbling, “They want me to get married…”

Youbirin and Sakura wait patiently for him to finish.

“… to some merchant’s daughter.”

Ah.

“But I thought they already knew about you liking guys–I mean, didn’t you already tell them? Why would they try to set you up with someone’s daughter?” Sakura asks, sentences crashing into each other clumsily.

“I have and they know,” Jiro shrugs, “but I guess they think its a phase or that I’d be willing to get married as long as they don’t expect grandchildren? Or maybe that I’d be okay if I could have a boyfriend on the side or something? What kind of person do they think I am?” He says, words getting increasingly angrier and faster, until near the end he’s nearly shouting.

It’s only because everyone else in the cafeteria has other things on their mind–or, like them, are medic nin that have carefully cultivated their indifference to non-medical things the way a gardener does his bonsai trees–that Jiro is only being stared at by his two genin teammates and not everyone in the room.

Regardless, Jiro checks himself, shoulders hunched, a flush of embarrassment across his face. When he speaks, his volume has dropped down to a more familiar level.

“I already told them I wouldn’t marry her, and they’ve accepted that at least. But it’s still rather… tense at home. And, well, I would like my own place so I don’t feel as awkward if I were to meet someone.” He shrugs again.

“As if we ever have the opportunity to,” Youbirin says, trying to inject some much needed humor into the conversation.

“We hardly have time to meet up with each other,” Sakura agrees, because trying to coordinate the schedules of three jounin combat medics for overlapping free time is nearly impossible.

“Actually, I was thinking…” Jiro begins, and both of his listeners pay attention, “I don’t really want to live all by myself. I do want my own space, but I don’t think I’m ready to be completely alone,” he explains, “And considering how I’m always at the hospital or on missions, it’d be wasteful to rent a place that’ll be empty more often than not.”

“Are you saying…” Sakura asks, hesitantly.

Jiro gives her an almost shy smile, “We could be flatmates? Split rent, see more of each other. It’ll be like when we were genin again,” he says, which prompts Sakura to smile brightly and clap with excitement, but just sours uncomfortably in Youbirin’s gut.

Yeah, just like their genin days–when Jiro and Sakura were sprinting forward and leaving him behind.

“There’s a three-bedroom place over in west Akimichi district that I’ve been looking at that isn’t too expensive,” Jiro says, pleased. Which makes sense, because any part of the Akimichi district is great and the west side is close to Konoha’s main hospital. Youbirin shouldn’t begrudge either of them that. Although…

“Three bedrooms?” he asks, interrupting Jiro and Sakura’s chatter.

She shoots him an exasperated expression, while Jiro looks at him, baffled.

“Of course I’d look for a place with three bedrooms,” Jiro says, “It’s not like the three of us are going to share a one room apartment.”

Oh.

Youbirin tries not to let the relief show on his face.

“… Dibs on master bedroom.”

~

A/N: And another one, @kuipernebula. I was kind of trying to go for Youbirin as more tactless than mean-spirited? Like, his childhood bullying ways and continued poor social skills are mostly because he’s insensitive–in the way that he literally doesn’t have a feel for some nuanced interactions (which explains why Kabuto was so easily able to exploit him). So basically like Kiba but less roguishly charming (and I guess that might explain Jiro’s crush on Kiba)?

It’s probably a good thing he’s a combat medic and not part of the normal Medic Corps because he probably has shitty bedside manner.

Down Every Road: Or, Some Ways Shikako and Sasuke Get Together, 3/? (2016-06-11)

(three: ANBU partners)

ANBU are trained in pairs–this, at least, Danzo did right in his perversion, ROOT.

ANBU candidates are inducted in pairs. Share a call sign and a mask design. They are taught together, fight together; succeed or fail together.

Live and breath and die together.

At least, until they leave ANBU.

But even then…

How could anything or anyone compare after that?

Trainees Mouse aren’t the youngest ANBU trainees in Konoha’s history, nor are they the strongest or smartest or the ones with most potential. No, Konoha has seen its fair share of genii, and while Trainees Mouse might be on the list, they are certainly not the top of the list.

But they are… something. Something interesting and compelling and powerful, just waiting to be unleashed.

Or smothered completely before their prime.

Or appropriated for someone else’s benefit.

The problem with being famous is that, when it comes to being part of an organization where anonymity is the key to success, all sorts of actions become all the more difficult.

Never mind faces and names–if an enemy combatant doesn’t recognize Nara shadow jutsu or instant-touch fuinjutsu, they must have been living under a rock for the past few months. And even then–Iwa has been fairly obsessive when it comes to gathering information about Konoha’s budding fuinjutsu master.

“I’ll never be allowed on the field,” Shikako groans, all but collapsing to the ground, body cover in all sorts of new aches. For now, Raccoon-taichou allows it, but only because even he must be bored of knocking her around the training room so easily. Taijutsu is not her best skill; and its for that reason why she’s being drilled in it.

“Don’t say that,” Sasuke mutters, dropping into a crouch beside her and rearranging her so her muscles won’t seize up in an awkward position. “If you can’t go out on the field, I’ll never get to, either. And that was the whole point of me joining ANBU.”

Shikako groans again, a wordless thing muffled into the crook of her elbow, before picking herself back up and readying herself for another round of getting her ass kicked.

The worst thing is? She asked for this.

Shikako really shouldn’t be complaining, because it’s true: Sasuke’s only chance of leaving Konoha again–barring the sudden and definitive death of Orochimaru–is by being ANBU.

There are no such limitations on her. In fact, due to her reputation and showing during the Grass Chuunin Exams, Shikako might very well be better off going on missions with her own face and name. She knows there have been some clients specifically requesting her, though due to the rank and nature of them, they’ve been politely redirected to other more suitable shinobi.

As far as the rest of the world knows, after Shikako’s sudden sky-rocket to the rank of special jounin, she’s been set aside as inactive for some much needed training. And, well, they’re not wrong. She does actually do shifts in Intel and train with the other sensors and both she and Sasuke have morning kenjutsu practice with Kakashi-sensei. But mostly?

That’s all just a cover for her real training to become ANBU.

Even within ANBU there’s a hierarchy:

There are the ones who are in it only for a year; chuunin hoping to get some experience, a quick and dirty way to qualify for a promotion.

There are the ones who–knowing they’ll never become jounin, and certainly not one of the elites ones with their names whispered in fear and awe–devote themselves until they break.

And then are the ones who, despite the masks and the codenames, become legends unto themselves.

ANBU Wolf was one.

So it’s no surprise that everyone watches his students with such expectant and interested eyes.

Everyone. Even the unwanted ones.

Shikako knows, more than most, how poorly Sasuke reacts to things being kept secret from him.

But she also understands, more than anyone, that some secrets do need to stay secret. At least for a while.

And so, until then, Shikako will do her part to keep them from her partner. Unless her guilt gets to her first.

Or Danzo gets to them both.

They make it through training. Through monstrous taijutsu spars and sleep-deprivation tactics. They memorize the entirety of ANBU’s codes and hand signals and protocols, undergo poison resistance treatments and pain tolerance augmentation. They survive and thrive and make it through completely.

Sasuke has increased his jutsu lexicon to respectable levels and Shikako has fended off Danzo’s overtures to join ROOT at least half a dozen times. Truly, there is no better measure of success, and so when it’s time for them to officially become ANBU she can’t help but be eager.

“Your new codename is Sheep,” Raccoon-taichou says, presenting Sasuke with his new mask. Despite the cuddly name, it does look rather fierce–or at least, now that she’s learned to interpret the swirling lines of color. There is the general shape of a face, and spirals at the temple to represent horns. A ram, maybe, which is not so bad.

Sasuke steps back, settling his new mask on his face, so she can step forward.

Raccoon-taichou holds out her new mask and startles, a minute twitch of his shoulders; in anyone else, that’d probably be a full-body judder and him dropping the mask.

He is silent for a moment.

“Taichou?” Shikako prompts, concerned but wary.

Again, he startles, an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

“Your new codename is Weasel,” he says, holding out the mask.

She almost doesn’t want to put it on. She can feel the way Sasuke has tensed at the name, knows her shoulders are just as tight.

This is Danzo’s last move, but it’s a good one. Terrible, but smart. A simple way to put a strain on their partnership, but easily within his means and something he can plausibly deny.

But she will not let this last shot in the dark hurt her, will not give in to him. She takes the mask and the name, turns to her partner and nods.

They can get through this. They can get through anything, so long as they are together.

~

A/N: I don’t know what Yamato/Tenzo’s ANBU call sign is, but I’ve decided on Raccoon if that’s okay.

For anonymous who wanted some Shikasuke and Stress… though I didn’t really get into the feelings of it so much as I just blathered on about ANBU. Buuut hopefully my point has gotten across. 🙂

How To Adult Properly (And Maybe Heal Some People While We’re At It), a series of Team Medic ficlets 1/? (2016-06-10)

It’s about half past three in the morning, or maybe it’s actually closer to seven, Jiro’s not really sure. Time really flies by when you’re up to the elbow in bodily fluids and trying not to let your patient’s sucking chest wound become a fatal sucking chest wound. Also, this is the last time he takes the graveyard shift because those are the worst–except that’s a lie because all shifts are the worst, no matter what time of day–and why did he ever decide to be a medic nin? Why couldn’t he be something less stressful like T&I or ANBU?

Somehow he gets through the front door and doesn’t trip and crack his head open, even though he told Youbirin to stop leaving his sandals right at the front entrance about a thousand times and by all things that are good and holy in this world, he is too tired for this.

Sakura is asleep in the living room again, something he can sense by her chakra signature and the way her hair is so ridiculously visible even in the low light. No doubt if he went to check, he’d find her hunched over notes, drooling slightly and passed out from exhaustion. She’ll complain about a crick in her neck when she wakes up, and that would serve her right.

But if she wakes up cranky then that means she won’t make bento lunches for all of them and she has been getting better at cooking so he goes over and flares his chakra once, twice, thrice, just enough to rouse her from sleep and let her know who it is that’s adjusting her to a more horizontal position. She’ll complain about being on the floor, but she won’t actually be in pain, so the bento just won’t be as elaborate but they’ll be there.

He’s debating whether or not he should make himself coffee–if he wants to ride out the day on caffein and try to reset his sleep schedule by at least waiting until the afternoon–or if he shouldn’t and should just go to sleep now and damn any forward planning, except Youbirin must have sensed his chakra too and now he’s picking his way through their living room turned into Sakura’s makeshift office and obnoxiously leaning his massive weight against Jiro like he doesn’t have at least six centimeters and nearly ten kilograms on him.

“Food,” Youbirin mumbles drowsily against the top of Jiro’s head which would be, frankly, infuriating, if he had any energy to spare.

As it is, Jiro lethargically tries to shrug him off and, when that fails, prop him against the wall or something less liable to keel over themselves at any time.

“You need to learn how to cook,” he grumbles back, but heads to the refrigerator anyway because now that he thinks about it, he’s hungry, too.

“Can’t, won’t,” Youbirin responds and, well, he kind of has a point because Youbirin once burned water and Sakura banned him from ever coming near the stove on pain of taijutsu only spar. And only an idiot–or a lovestruck masochist like Rock Lee–would go up against Sakura in a taijutsu spar.

Their fridge is a bleak wasteland as empty as his chakra reserves.

The pantry isn’t much better.

“Whose turn was it to shop for groceries?” Jiro asks, because, damn it, now he’s really hungry too.

Youbirin, now slouched halfway down the wall yet not quite sitting on the floor and eyes tenaciously closed, blearily suggests, “Check the chore chart,” the syllables tripping over his tongue.

Jiro glances around their apartment skeptically, every surface covered in charts and graphs, yes, but also prototype seals and jutsu and half-filled applications for new drugs because they are very much their sensei’s students. Finding their optimistically created chore chart would be like finding a specific kunai on a battlefield.

“Let’s just order in,” he suggests instead, grateful that the Akimichi are such a large part of Konoha’s food industry and thus have restaurants open twenty four hours a day with delivery.

“I want gyouza,” calls Sakura’s voice from the living room, because, yeah, sure. Why not? Might as well feed everyone all at once.

Jiro, as the only one standing, reaches for their phone and the dials in the number for the nearest Akimichi restaurant by heart because it’s actually shameful how frequently they order delivery at odd hours.

“I could’ve been a merchant,” he sighs after putting in the order–well, really, all he said was “This is Jiro Watanabe,” and the server just asked “The usual” and waited for an affirmative grunt before hanging up–sliding himself to the floor, too, because the floor is appparently super comfy. Gods, he’s tired.

“I could’ve been a farmer,” Sakura adds, having crawled her way into the kitchen to join them. It’s a familiar game, one they play distressingly often.

“I could’ve been some noble’s kept boy toy,” Youbirin finishes, the thought so ludicrous that, after a beat of stunned weary silence, they all burst out laughing.

Because being a medic nin is terrible. It’s disgusting and difficult and draining, even in peace time, and it’s not at all what he thought he’d be doing when he graduated from the Academy almost ten years ago. And yet? He’d never be satisfied with anything else.

He’d get bored as a merchant or a farmer or even some noble’s kept boy toy; doesn’t need to be T&I or ANBU to know that it wouldn’t be as fulfilling. He’s exhausted and hungry and slightly delirious for it, laughing hysterically on the floor of the kitchen with his two best friends in the world–he’s a medic nin and he wouldn’t change a thing.

~

A/N: This is set in the Team Medic AU spinoff of DoS in which Sakura’s Team One with Youbirin Nohara and Jiro Watanabe wound up with a medic nin jounin sensei and they ended up passing because of it.

I had some Team Medic feels, @kuipernebula, hope you don’t mind. Just some random ficlets set in the ambiguous future, and I tried not to let it outrightly contradict anything we’ve discussed (though apparently, Youbirin is now taller and heavier than Jiro… uh, but I guess that was kind of a fifty fifty chance on who would end up taller so…).

Also, apparently there are mobile/cell phones in the Naruto world. Which is super weird to me but, whatevs. And sure it’s in the epilogue/Boruto gaiden but, seeing as how Shikako exists in DoS she may help that along faster. And this is set in ambiguously them being late teens/early twenties so… maybe right now they only have landlines?

I came here because of the DoS forums, I stay because of all the stuff you write being really really good. Especially your Benlos Descendants stuff. I saw your thing about the descendants kids being pulled into naruto-verse and was wondering what would change/happen if they ended up in DoS instead, or if Shikako and various others went to Auradon.

Thanks, anon! 😀 I always wondered if my readers were cross-fandom readers, or if they just stuck to a single fandom, so it’s nice to know at least one person likes my writing in different fandoms.

This brainstorm correct?

Let’s see… I don’t think much would be difference if the Lost kids ended up in DoS instead of canon Naruto. The structure of the teams are much the same (with Team Seven being heavy hitters, whether it’s Shikako or Sakura) and so the dispersion of the Lost kids amongst genin teams would also be the same.

I guess the difference would be in how Shikako reacts. Because even if she doesn’t know Descendants, per se, she does definitely know the fairy tales that their parents are from. It gives her additional information that the other Konoha nin don’t have, a context for their background, though whether she can use that to her advantage depends on how the story goes.

I’d be hesitant to say that she’d be suspicious of them because of their parentage, but it does seem like something she’d do and it wouldn’t look all that different from everyone else being suspicious of them because of their mysterious appearance in Konoha. That being said, I do think she’d be interested in learning more about their world–especially when it comes to collaborating and creating new seals gadgets that are similar to the ones back home or even adapting Mal’s spellbook into jutsu. Even though the Lost kids were only off the island for one day (or not, depending on when you want to have them spirited away), they know enough about technology (via broken scraps from Auradon) that they wouldn’t be all that unfamiliar with real world equivalents.

And, I guess in a ruthless way, Shikako doesn’t have to worry about them dying or not in order to preserve the happy ending. Like, hypothetically, if Naruto and Sasuke die then she knows she’s failed because there’s no way anyone else can deal with Kaguya. But if any of the Lost kids die? Well, it’s not like they existed in the Naruto canon in the first place, so their absence doesn’t affect the plot.

Which may make her more likely to tell the Lost kids at least part of the truth about her origins… or at least, enough that they would know she is their best bet at… well… not going home necessarily (or maybe that, at first) but the closest thing to someone knowing who they are? To understanding where they come from and how, because of the trust given to them by Konoha and their respective teams, they’ve changed for the better. Someone to appreciate the fact that they’re not villains like their parents.

As for characters of DoS going to Auradon…

Most likely it’s via one of Shikako’s attempts to figure out Hiraishin. Which probably means that TenTen is also there. Which might mean that this is during a kunoichi study group meeting. Which would be absolutely amazing!

Okay because consider this: Shikako, TenTen, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and possibly also Yakumo and Isaribi (though I don’t really know these two all that well) in Auradon where literally everyone except the Lost kids are super spoiled civilian royalty. If we go with Shikako as special jounin rank then she would be the highest ranked of the seven and thus automatic taichou. Also, the one in charge of getting them back home so… a lot of pressure for her.

In that line, I guess it’d depend on when during the Descendants movie the kunoichi appear and if we want to have them deal with that pesky language barrier or not. Because, that would be a pain to write.

Although I guess… hm… If it’s English then Shikako would still remember it from her old life and maybe the Yamanaka have some kind of ability that lets them skim knowledge? That way Ino can also understand English… I mean, the other five would still be stuck, but at least it’s not as bad as having only Shikako understand. Then again, that would be pretty terrible so maybe… I dunno… ~magic~ means that everyone can understand everyone. Maybe there’s a spell the Fairy Godmother can cast.

Anyway, firstly, you have the same problem as the Lost kids going to Konoha and that is: how do they appear and why does Auradon trust (or, at least, not imprison them) immediately? But it does depend on when in canon you want them to appear…

Hm… this may be just because I recently watched Hercules but… what if…

*thirty minutes of researching later*

Uh, okay, no never mind. I thought there were seven muses of Greek myth (Hercules only used five) but apparently there’s nine of them. I mean, I guess I could just use the five that Hercules used and not have Yakumo and Isaribi (since I don’t know them that much anyway…).

[In which case I’d have it be: 
Calliope – epic poetry, writing tablet – Shikako
Clio – history, scroll – TenTen
Thalia – comedy, comic mask/cup – Sakura
Terpsichore – dance, lyre – Hinata
Melpomene – tragedy, tragic mask/dagger – Ino
Though at first people think Hinata is Melpomene and Ino is Terpsichore. I don’t know why that seems important to me.]

Anyway, the point was that when the five/seven kunoichi appear the Auradon people take it as some kind of sign that Ben will be a good king/hero of legend etc in the same way Hercules was (I assume since Auradon is a mishmash of vaguely Europe and some other countries then Greece would be included?).

Uh… I guess there are also the Seven Princesses of Heart from Kingdom Hearts franchise which… is also technically Disney. And, I mean, I dunno. Maybe they actually represent something?

Anyway, so maaaybe. If you want them to appear during the canon Descendants movie, they should probably appear somehow when the Lost kids go into the museum. Maybe they knock something over or activate some artifact that has a delayed reaction and “releases”/summons the kunoichi from their universe to Auradon.

Like, one of them knocks into it and everyone is afraid that it’ll break, but someone else manages to catch it before it hits the floor. But they put it back in the wrong spot and this new spot gets sunlight and then when the sun rises, when the Lost kids are already back at the school with alibis, suddenly the kunoichi appear.

And the thing is–kunoichi lessons? Are all about infiltration and acting and information gathering. So even if it’s not a situation they ever expected doesn’t mean the others besides Shikako won’t be able to handle themselves reasonably well.

(Ha! I just realized, considering Shikako has the deer summons and Ino has the chameleons–if you consider Disney princesses very frequently have animal companions they’d blend right in. :P)

And I guess the plot proceeds however you’d want it to–the kunoichi work on getting back home, because unlike the original Lost kids go to Konoha idea, there’s a sense of urgency that they have to go back. That Auradon isn’t there home and can never be their home–maybe some select people *coughtheLostkidscough* learn new tricks before they go. There’s a coronation, Maleficent crashes the party, etc. etc.

I’m not all that sure if the kunoichi should change the movie canon plot all that much–I mean, maybe after the coronation, and if they’re still there, they do something but… I don’t see how the sudden appearance of seven girls who know how to be subtle would prevent Ben from getting crowned king etc etc.

Uh, but it was a pretty interesting thought exercise, so thank anon!