““flower shop and tattoo parlor”!AU revolving around Ino and Shikako” Is it weird I could see this happening post canon? Ino already has the flowershop going, throw in Shikako doing seals for whatever ninja want to pay money for skin-seals… (Sai doing the artwork? idk) and the set up for it is already there…

I know, right? Like, it’s a very small step away from canon which are my favorite kind of AUs.

I’m not sure how much Sai would want to be involved in putting seals on people (given his own childhood trauma) but I do think he would flourish fabulously in the flower shop as Ino’s assistant (that frequently has to step up to the register because Ino has gone across the street to hang out with Shikako).

Counterpoise Remix (2017-03-19)

Namikaze Naruto and Uzumaki Konran meet for the second time in the spring before their twelfth birthday.

It is not an entirely auspicious event.

In the first memory I have of Uzumaki Konran, it is not, as the reader might presume, her hair that I recall best, though such a notion is not unfounded.

Like her mother before her, Konran had worn her hair long and loose then, a red curtain more vibrant than any other hue found in nature. And it is true that to this day her crimson locks are often considered her signature–only to those fortunate enough not to face her in battle, of course, for they would know her better by her chakra chains, fuinjutsu, and stark determination instead.

But her hair, while eye-catching, is not what first comes to mind, for her cousin had accompanied her then, Uzumaki Karin’s own tresses hewing to the familial standard.

No, what I remember most clearly of Konran’s first day in Konoha are the bloom of cherry blossoms all around and the unassailable look of anxiety on her face.

A little over a decade ago, the status quo of international politics changed when the Land of Rain ended their self-imposed isolation; at their head, daimyo and commander in chief both, was an Uzumaki.

This is not his story.

Shizune knows its not her place to decide, but surely in the privacy of her own mind she’s allowed to cultivate her mutinous opinions. Shishou and Kushina are using her and her team as courier, so she deserves this much at least.

But her indignation evaporates quickly enough when she glances over at her team’s young charge. The only thought left afterward is: Poor Ran-chan.

She doesn’t know what they told her, but Konran seems determined to embody some untouchable ideal of an Uzumaki heiress. Normally, when she’s anxious, Ran-chan will edge closer to Juugo as if to borrow some of his calm. Now head raised, shoulders straight, Konran walks firmly in the middle of the diamond formation Shizune’s team has made–protected like a noble princess, and all the more apprehensive for it.

Karin flutters around her cousin, sensing her mood but not knowing how to fix it. She picks at fallen petals instead, as if to maintain Konran’s immaculate appearance, but that seems to be making it worse.

Perhaps out of a heretofore unseen emotional sensitivity, Suigetsu snaps at her, freeing Konran from her attention. Then again, Suigetsu hardly needs an excuse to annoy Karin.

Shizune knows her team well, almost as well as she does Konran, the young girl very near to a sister, so she knows this:

Shizune won’t be the only one who misses Ran-chan during her time in Konoha.

The Uzumaki clan, though highly diminished, are no less storied or prestigious for it. Hosting the Uzumaki heiress would be an honor for any Konoha clan, one highly suffused with political implications.

For that reason, it was decided that she would be hosted at the Hokage’s residence, to maintain neutrality without causing insult.

What other reason could there be?

You are not surprised when the Hokage meets with you and Shizune-nee in person, not really. You are important because the people you are related to are important, and Shizune-nee is Tsunade-oba’s only disciple–the Hokage would be foolish to delegate such a duty to someone else.

You are surprised that he stays with you after Shizune-nee and her team leaves Konoha, that he guides you to the Hokage’s residence and ushers you around the house, describing all the rooms. You’re quite sure this is actually him and not a clone of some sort–his chakra signature deeper than clones tend to be, and that of his bodyguards’ brushing against your senses–and so you’ve begun to grow confused.

Surely the Hokage has better things to do with his time than play tour guide to an unwanted guest?

He pauses in his commentary, expression shuttering to blankness.

Impressive. Less than one day in Konoha and you’ve already insulted their leader.

But his smile returns, if smaller and somewhat pained, a slight wrinkle in his brow.

“You are not unwanted,” he says simply, before resuming his narration after a pause. She keeps her response to herself, taking in as much of the information as she can stand.

After all, this will be her home, too. For the next year, at least.

Minato’s daughter looks at him with familiar eyes that see only a stranger. She doesn’t know better, was never told otherwise, and so she doesn’t know how swiftly and thoroughly it breaks his heart.

That pales entirely in comparison to when he witnesses his children speak to each other, voices filled with polite disinterest.

~

A/N: I had this weird persistent dream remixing Counterpoise into a “more peaceful but not necessarily kinder world” AU in which both Kushina and Minato live but, for reasons that may or may not eventually be written, they each take a child and don’t see each other for over a decade. Then, in order for Konran to “complete her training” she’s sent to Konoha for a year (what is Naruto/Konoha Twelve’s last year at the Academy.

And it started with weirdly flowery prose–I don’t know who exactly the first person POV is, except for a strange Lemony Snicket-esque narrator–but then it kind of bounced around to different POVs so it didn’t feel right to maintain that.

I might write a little more–I have some thoughts about Zakuro and Ringo in this ‘verse, as well as how Naruto and Konran’s relationship develop, and a lot of miscellaneous details of what Kushina and Minato’s survival would change in the world–but not consistently since the idea is kind of embarrassing and I’m mostly writing this one so it stops plaguing my brain :/

But hope someone out there enjoys it, at least.

im gonna cry bc i fell asleep thinking about some of your aus (did i spend the whole night reading through your au tags and the recursive thread? maybe i did) and i think i felt so bad about shikako going through so much and somehow i woke up today thinking that there was an actual fic going on where everything was domestic modern au like those settings for flowershop aus and what not and team 7 were childhood friends. so far i haven’t found it so the fact that i dreamt it up is very likely ;w;

Oh no! Anon don’t cry!

… hahaha jk, Shikako’s so stressed out I’m crying, too T_T

I personally don’t have a flower shop!AU (although that’d basically be an “almost like canon but kinder” “childhood friends to lovers” “flower shop and tattoo parlor”!AU revolving around Ino and Shikako) but I totally get what you’re saying. A lot of AUs are just like–just let Shikako rest for a while. Let her biggest worries be something like an exam paper instead of LIFE OR DEATH END OF THE WORLD, PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE!

I sometimes pop over to the recursive thread, but not frequently enough to have a strong idea of what doesn’t exist. @book14reader‘s Index Page is pretty thorough, though, so I recommend checking it out, maybe there is one?

(Stay strong, anon, we’re in for a bumpy emotional ride I think)

If Sakura is Morganite, maybe Inner!Sakura is some variety of black Beryl – maybe even just called Beryl? – to call back to her animation style, i.e. all black with white lines? Then when they fuse, the colors from Morganite’s pale pink and Beryl’s black would naturally flow into a darker red, meaning she could be called Bixbite. (Sorry, I only just saw you’d replied to that post – Whoops!)

(No worries, kuiper!)

Hm… see the thing is, black beryl is actually white/colorless beryl (Goshenite) that has a lot of black spinel inside. So Black Beryl would be a pretty cool fusion idea for a Goshenite and a Spinel but not really a good component gem in and of itself.

Maybe we could use that same color theory reasoning, though? So Sakura is a permafusion Morganite and her two component parts are Goshenite and Bixbite (so white/colorless dilutes the red to make pink)? Goshenite’s white/lack of color could be Inner!Sakura’s monochrome animations style or Bixbite’s red could represent Inner!Sakura’s passion. Hrm, but Goshenite means truthfulness while Bixbite is about harmony so that’s the opposite.

… maybe Shizune is Black Beryl and since both she and Sakura share the Goshenite aspect that could represent their medical training from Tsunade? (Or the sassiness they’ve gotten from her.)

~

@kuipernebula: given sapphire and rubies are somehow different types of gem despite both being corundum, i don’t think we have to worry too much about what make the gem the color it is

That’s true, canon SU is pretty lax about gemstone naming/choices…

Ah, sorry about the I am a Rock prompts. o///o I tried thinking of a new prompt, and all I’ve got is (yet another) song reference, which I feel kind of bad about: “We Built This City”.

It’s nothing to apologize for, anon! They were beautiful ideas as is, I just couldn’t really contribute anything to them.

As for this new prompt, I like it! 😀

I know this is future fic, but I can’t decide how far in the future–is this just post-canon or is this already the whereabouts of next generation’s time? So I guess I’ll give vague approximations for both…

The post-canon fic would be the Konoha Thirteen basically breaking the Konoha Council (as a governing system, not literally breaking the elderly) and trying to figure out how to adapt a military society into the type of government that “world peace” should inspire.

… and kind of losing themselves to the politics and bureaucracy and intricate, inherited complications that they can’t just completely abandoned. And then I want them to look up and realize that they’ve become the very thing they were trying to avoid, all the scheming and machinations and battling of influence.

For some reason the analogy I’ve come up with is, it’s as if they are the Olympians of Greek Mythology. They’ve gone through so much, hurt each other so often, so many slights and petty arguments and jealousies, and then they just stop and remember–hey, remember when we were young gods, when we were fresh out of battle, high on victory of overthrowing the titans and no longer having to be afraid for our lives.

Why can’t we go back to that time?

And so the fic is partially that downward slide to bitterness but mostly the almost desperate crawl back up to who they wanted to be?

And then for the next gen fic it’d be a “who is going to be the next Hokage” kind of thing. How will the Hokage–strongest in the village, able to bolster the village’s reputation with their own–be chosen amongst the next gen. Because on the one hand, they’re all basically juggernauts. But on the other, they’re peace time children.

And, also, who even wants to be Hokage? I know canon!Sarada wants to be which, I mean, hell yeah. But will my prediction for “DoS!Sarada” (in quotes because I’m not sure if she’ll even exist, especially given I’m pretty sure SQ doesn’t want to touch that with a ten foot pole) feel the same?

Will next gen go one step further than their parents and consider the Hokage position obsolete? Or, at least, the qualifications for it. Do they just do a tournament, then? Do they make it a rotating position that has to be battled for every five years? Do they nose goes for it?!

I have no idea.

We Built This City

It takes a village to raise a child.

What can children do to the village in turn?

Sorry anon, these are pretty vague :/

~
~

And that’s the last for the Ask Box Fake Fic Titles Event, everyone! Thanks for participating with me. I hope you all enjoyed 🙂

A list of all the posts in this event is under the cut (if I can, I’ll try to put direct links, though they’re all tagged with “ask box fake fic titles” or their respective title:

1) Miracle
2) When The Dawn Is Still Dark
3) Colorblind
4) Rust
5) Above the Abyss
6) /I Am Your Lionheart
7) Nevertheless, She Persisted
8) And Way Down We Go
9) Babysitting
10) Desperate Endeavors
11) /Blitzkrieg
12) Tamed
13) Seven Deadly Sins
14) Paint With All The Colours Of The Wind
15) /What You Thrive For
16) Spin Me A Song (In The Shadows Of Death)
17) In The Absence Of Heroes
18) close your eyes (breathe in your ruin)
19) //JASHIN AND SHIKAKO’S GODHOOD
20) /I’m Here

21) Parallel
22) the song remains the same
23) Strong In The Real Way
24) Freedom’s Just Another Word
25) Insuperable
26) blood and earth (not theory and chalk)
27) //we were the kings and queens of promise
28) Monster Smiles (blood in my teeth)
29) Bridge Over Troubled Water
30) Call On Your Angels
31) The Bustle In A House
32) The Homework
33) All You Have To Do (Is Stay)
34) An (Almost) Relaxing Day
35) Pro Patria Mori
36) find me where the wild things are
37) the dark side of the moon
38) Trapped In The Lightbulb Fixation
39) Remember To Sleep
40) Delicacy In Layers
41) when the fire’s at my feet again
42) We Built This City

Oh, wow, 42?! No wonder it feels like I’ve forgotten how to write and not just brainstorm–I’ve done over a month’s worth!

The ones with / or // are not really brainstorms so much as rants dancing around the fake fic title.

In remember to sleep. What if Naruto’s parents somehow got his body to Uzu. The Uzumaki were killed out in a gang war but thier old stomping grounds remain untouched because of the AI they were famous for still patrol waiting for an Uzumaki to return. Kakashi hasn’t looked there because he can’t. They are not nice robots.

Ooh… hm… I wonder if the Uzumaki vitality is their ability to somehow resist EMP? So the area around Uzushio is basically a no electronics area except for Uzumaki tech.

I do like the idea of wild feral angry guard robots, too, so maybe they are also there and, because Uzumaki tech, impervious to the Uzushio EMP.

Normally guard robots wouldn’t be a problem for Kakashi (as much as a walking trash can as he is, he is very skilled in his job) but the EMP makes him baseline human.

And hey, guess who are baseline human and Uzumaki tech? 😀

I mean, I still don’t know if Naruto’s body is out there, but this would be a good “we need to find out more about your origins” adventure.

So if Shikako is Iron Man, does that make lost-everyone -around -him Sasuke into Captain America? Or mystical-family-power Thor? RAGEKyuubi mode is the Hulk? Oh! Not-worthy-of-heirloom-weapon is Kakashi isn’t it?? (I know it wasnt supposed to be a one to one comparison but still).

Hm, I hadn’t really thought it all the way through but let’s see:

Ibiki is definitely the Nick Fury equivalent (with Aoba and Anko as the Phil Coulson and Maria Hill equivalents).

Ino is probably the Black Widow equivalent–I’m thinking her codename is either Belladonna or Aconite or Oleander (very poisonous, but very pretty flowers).

I was actually thinking Sakura would be the Thor equivalent–in the original comics form? Where Thor-the-hero wasn’t the literal Norse god, but someone who had received Thor’s powers by being worthy of wielding Mjolnir. In this case, Sakura has received Tsunade’s powers by wielding… I don’t know, powerful gloves? (I think the Sannin are the actual ancient alien deities.)

And while RAGE!Kyuubi-fied Naruto would be an admittedly great Hulk, I was leaning more towards him being Captain America. Or… Captain Uzushio? And then have Sasuke be Winter Soldier… Sharingan Soldier? The story line for them aren’t nearly as perfect a match as Shikako as Iron Hart, but it does put Danzo in the excellent position of Hydra leader so…

I don’t think Kakashi is an Avenger. The point of it was to have the Konoha Twelve be the Avengers (and the Akatsuki be the Young Avengers/Big Hero 6), and Kakashi wouldn’t really fit that dynamic? Unless…

Is Kakashi Deadpool?

… no, wait… um… probably he’s more like Wolverine–old and immortal and tired of everything, but goddamnit he will adopt all the angry children. All of them.

‘When the Fires at my Feet Again’ Shikako or just DOS Team 7. And it’s in reference to a newish song I just heard called Rise by Katy Perry

This is a post-bad-guys-win!AU. A comeback!AU, if you will.

I don’t know if this is also a time travel / dimension travel!AU as well…

Oh. Actually! Agh… I know I said I would try not to reuse previous brainstorms, but this title definitely feels like a “if evil had won and Shikako had escaped via diagonal dimension travel into not-DoS!canon ‘verse where she is approximately Kakashi’s age and becomes the equivalent of Jiraiya’s Shizune but not”

That is, option 1 from this post long ago.

So this Shikako is even more determined to save the world but also knows that because of her existence/interference her dimension failed. So she’s far less hesitant to make changes that might “blow her cover” (because what does she care anymore? anything to succeed) but she’s also afraid that she might just make things worse (again.)

Once Kakashi has dropped his grudge against her “trying to be Minato by being Jiraiya’s new student” and let’s her (back) into Team Seven’s weird family, she does her best to make sure everyone is as strong as can be and don’t fall for any of Danzo’s bullshit.

… yeah, I don’t really know what else to write

when the fire’s at my feet again

Not every story has a happily ever after, not every hero gets to live–sometimes the villains win in the end.

She might not get the perfect ending this time, but anything is better than nothing in a zero sum game.

In remember to sleep I like the idea that Naruto’s body is asleep somewhere. It could be part of thier mission, quest, thing to find his body to see if he and Kurama can be separated as well as show Naruto how to human.

See I like that idea, too, but I don’t know why the Uchiha would allow it? Unless they don’t know–and they don’t actively use Naruto because they wanted the Kyuubi, not a child AI, not knowing that the android contains both.

In which case, where is Naruto’s body? If Kakashi really is trying to find the truth behind his teacher’s/foster parents’ death then wouldn’t he have already search all of the Namikaze-Uzumaki properties? That he knows of… secret lab?

Hm…

in remember to sleep, how old would the konoha twelve be? and if naruto is some sort of android (or at least his body isn’t flesh) doesn’t that mean he’ll outlive most of the characters? how would that be for him?

Probably Konoha Twelve are late teens/early twenties. So old enough to have some level of independence, but young enough that they aren’t expected to be taking over for their parents already.

As for whether or not Naruto will outlive them… I’m still on the fence about what exactly he is. Like, if he’s entirely a coded copy of the child Naruto that learned and developed (in which case is he still Naruto or just a copy) or if he is mentally connected to the robot body and his real body is somewhere, or if he’s actually a really advanced cyborg and his brain and some other organs are inside of the robot body but not so much so that there aren’t uncertainties of his humanity? I don’t know.