14 – Poly!Lucky Sevens

I think I’ve got fireflies
where my caution should be.
(Instead of slowing down, I just shine brighter)


She’s thrown through a wall–one, two, three–comes to a rolling, tumbling stop against the crumpled steel of a dumpster.

She groans, body shrieking in pain–her floating ribs are probably broken, shit, and her vision is hazy with a definite concussion–but at least she’s still alive. Her armor has held up well: TenTen is definitely getting a raise.

A roar sounds through the streets, reverberating and ominous, straight out of her childhood nightmares of monsters under her bed.

What she wouldn’t give to be asleep in her bed right now.

Shikako coughs, brick dust and rubble in the air, ribs protesting angrily. She steels herself. Flipping onto her hands and knees nearly makes her weep.

She can’t do this.

Human criminals are one thing–she’s better trained and better equipped than anyone on the street–but creatures of this size? Rogues with superhuman abilities? Magic and other things beyond the laws of physics?

She can’t do this alone.

An extraterrestrial object crashes into Konoha’s Central Park during an R&D presentation to the board–Shikako’s presence is mandatory no matter how many wide-eyed looks of panic she exchanges with TenTen.

And so when the alien emerges, blindfolded and shackled but rampaging madly, it’s not The Dark Knight that makes first contact, but a graffiti artist on the run from the cops.

A graffiti artist that also happens to be a demigod.

By the time the presentation is over–rushed through as quickly as possible, but still far too long–the rampage turned battle has expanded to downtown Konoha.

Shikako arrives on scene and curses, futilely: there are news cameras–stupid and brave–and a ring of police cars–less stupid, but braver–lights spinning a dizzying red and blue.

Most of her power comes from reputation, the growing rumors of an urban legend that haunts the nights and minds of criminals. This is so public, too public, out in the bright glaring sunshine.

The officers that spot her, rumbling motorcycle engine loud and impatient, face their weapons her way for a moment. The Dark Knight, after all, is still a wanted vigilante–one that has caused conflicting opinions within the force. But their captain is quick to brush them off, in part for her benefit, but mostly for theirs.

“I hope you have better firepower than we do,” the captain says, opening up the barrier with a wave, “Because both of them are bulletproof.”

She does, but that’s not what is going to resolve this.

She goes through, prepared to enter the fray even if it means surrounding herself by people who want to throw her in prison, because maybe there’s a way to salvage this situation.


A/N: … I didn’t get to the actual relationship so much as it is the set up to it? Sorry, anon… 

Also I did try to write a third section to this but it didn’t fit so well and I already felt like this was taking too long so there’s a paragraph under the cut. I may use that eventually if I write more Insuperable, but so I don’t lose it I’ll just hide it here.

Number + Character/Ship + (optional) AU –> my ask box

[If anyone else wants to do a softer world prompt that isn’t on the list, you can just send the page id number for the original comic instead.]

The walls of their headquarters are covered in paint. Vibrant swirling colors and symbols that don’t match any living language. Naruto sees these shapes in his dreams, grasping at images that evaporate during his waking hours.

He is desperate for any hint of his past.

Sasuke wishes he could forget his own.

31+DOS+ platonic team seven

I love the way your face lights up
when someone says,
“It might be dangerous.”
(I am glad we are friends.)


Sasuke smirks, Naruto laughs, and Shikako tries to suppress an unprofessional giggle–it’s not their clients’ fault that they’ve hired a team of adrenaline junkies.

“We’ll be fine,” she assures them, perfectly polite smile on her face, before the three of them set off.

Supposedly there’s a monster in the forest preying on the citizens of the town, a behemoth with claws and teeth and no real solid description: it’s just as well, they’ve been kind of bored lately.


(Strong In The Real Way)

“You’re a researcher, not a fighter,” Sasuke says, trying to discourage her, trying to protect her.

“I’m a scientist,” she corrects, “danger isn’t unfamiliar to me.” She steps forward to complete the line–her and Sasuke and Naruto, ready to take on whatever force Home World may be sending, “We’ll both stand with you, Naruto”

Naruto looks over at the two of them–surprised and more than a little touched, eyes suspiciously shiny–and grins.


(Remember To Sleep)

The old Uzushio stomping grounds are a nightmare ghost town–teeming with erratic Uzumaki tech and an unstoppable electromagnetic field–but it might hold a clue about Naruto’s past and that’s all the reason Shikako needs to make the trip.

“What are you doing here, bastard?” Naruto shouts, more surprised than actually angry–it’s just as well they’re not aiming for stealth right now.

“As if I’ll let the two of you go without me,” Sasuke scoffs, “Who knows what kind of trouble you’d get into.”


(Call On Your Angels)

“You said that about the last one, too, but the worst that happened was that thunderstorm knocking over a tree and almost flattening Sasuke,” Naruto responds when Shikako brings up her newest expedition.

Sasuke glares at him, “Yeah. How boring,” he says, deadpan, but he starts packing up his stuff alongside Naruto–she’s honestly a little surprised. “Even if it is just looking at rocks all day, of course we’re coming with you.”

Unfortunately–or maybe fortunately–it is not just looking at rocks.



“This is my city, all the people I love live here,” she says, gearing up, “I may not have powers like either of you, but I’m going to do what I can to defend my home.”

Shikako is human walking alongside an alien and a demigod, ready to take on an ancient horror.

She can’t fly–urban myths aside–but they hold out their hands to her and she soars.


A/N: Thanks for the prompt, oliviaphoenix! I don’t know if this is the format I’ll be taking with the all of the prompts for the a softer ask box event, but for this one in particular it felt right.

Number + Ship + (optional) AU –> my ask box

in the dc!dos au, would there be an organization that’s the equivalent to justice league of some sort?

Hm… not any time soon. Insuperable would be from when the three of them first start off as heroes, taking on the scourge of Konoha. And it’d be very Konoha centric if all three of them are on the Justice League.

There are heroes in other cities (and the other Amazon bijuu champions disperse there as well) but there aren’t really many crises that go international…

Within Konoha there eventually develops a more official organization of the heroes–the way Batman goes from a single person into the Bat Family into Batman Inc. in the comics–so there’s something like that, yes.

That D.C. Au gave me life!!! Lois Lane Kakashi is the best thing I’ve ever heard of. What do you think the Bijuu would be in this au? If there is any? (if you don’t mind me asking)

😀 I think at this point my propensity for making Kakashi as underpowered as possible is showing. Just let him retire and hang out with his millions of dogs.

Ask away, anon! I always end up developing more headcanons than fits into the brainstorms so I like being able to share them. Alternatively, trying to answer questions and making new headcanons to do so is fun too!

The bijuu of this world are probably more like the Greek Pantheon in Wonder Woman canon than their original Naruto world canon iterations. So instead of being massive sentient natural disasters, they’re lazy busybodies who like to bestow powers onto their preferred Amazons and watch them duke it out. For funsies.

Kurama is only a little embarrassed that its new champion is half human, except with all the shenanigans that Naruto gets up to with Sasuke and Shikako he’s actually the most entertaining champion the bijuu have had in a while. (Because having their champions fight each other in perpetuity gets boring. But seeing their champions take out the weird criminals humanity has to offer? Now that’s some hilarious shit right there).

Which is probably how the other jinchuuriki get involved in the story–suddenly, invasion of the Amazons! Benign, of course, they’re pretty bored of fighting each other over and over again, too.

Greek pantheon bijuu explains so much because the Greek pantheon were the most sordid reality television with the thinnest veneer of religion.

The idea of the bijuu all just being overpowered immortal siblings and using their jinchuuriki as avatars to argue about that one time a couple of centuries ago when Kurama stole Shukaku’s favorite teapot and then blamed Matatabi is basically the most hilarious interpretation of the giant grumpy balls of chakra that I could think of while still being believable.

Seven Deadly Sins was AWESOME!!! I have a one word title for you, DoS Team seven or just Shikako please :) : “Insuperable”


Listen, anons, I don’t mean to depreciate your separate prompts, but I saw these all and they just clicked together like some kind of beautiful triforce that turned into:


And, okay, I know that Gotham!anon wanted Shikako as the James Gordon equivalent once she starts to emulate Ibiki, but why not just have Ibiki as James Gordon and Shikako as Batman? She CAN work within the system, but she prefers not to because it’s not as efficient.

And the way Ibiki tacitly covered for them during the Land of Tea arc–yes, mostly because of Idate, but still–very Commissioner Gordon plausible deniability, I think. Alternatively Shikaku could be a pretty good Commissioner Gordon for his daughter-the-vigilante.

And the gif, come on, the gif!

So, basically, superhero!AU with Shikako as Batman, Sasuke as Superman, and Naruto as Wonderwoman. Equivalents, of course. They need some tweaking to their respective backstories because Shikako’s the only one who isn’t an orphan, Sasuke is no boy scout, and as much as I love Naruto, he’s no Wonderwoman.

I suppose Shikako has a background more like Batgirl–the Barbara Gordon version, that is. Sasuke’s background might be more like Starfire’s (last loyal son of Uchiha, yeah, but maybe instead of genjutsu torture Itachi had him enslaved). And while Naruto is not Wonderwoman, per se, maybe Kushina was–Uzushio as Themyscira?–and so he’s the half human half Amazon son of Wonderwoman and super genius human Minato (who is basically Lex Luthor except, you know, not evil). Which I guess means he’s like Superboy–the Kon-El version, that is.



Konoha: city of crime, corruption, and misery–too much for one vigilante to handle.

But three? Well, they can certainly try.

Maybe they’re not heroes, but they’ll definitely be remembered.

I just realized, I think Kakashi is the Mayor or the DA and also all of their (platonic) Lois Lane. The number of plans targeting him is kind of ridiculous, but what’s even more ridiculous is the number of times he ends up being carried princess-style by one of the three vigilantes. Even though they’re all shorter than him. 🙂

There are separate arcs, of course–How Shikako’s family find out about her alter-ego. Itachi coming to Konoha and ruining everything (as he does) and Sasuke has to face his demons. Naruto finding out about Themyscira and having to decide between the home he knows and possible family–but the story would be mostly about how these three weirdoes first of all even become the heroes of Konoha, then how they rise to the level of the DC Trinity.