Shikako/Deidara “Trapped in the Lightbulb Fixation” which was my mishearing of lyrics to Irresistible but does not need to be a reference

Oh man, okay.  I’ve already discussed how Shikako is aro/demi-romantic so this is… really. This is a crack pair. I just cannot see it happening in canon in any way, and it’d have to be in an AU so far removed from canon that I just…

Okay. Let’s see.

Erm…

Is this one-sided Shikako/Deidara? I mean, the song lyrics don’t necessarily specify? And it’s… uh…

I feel like this is an age/role swap!AU plus a… superhero AU? But not the Insuperable superhero!AU… I guess more like Big Hero 6? In the sense that it’s technically in the Marvel Universe but also kind of its own thing?

So Konoha Twelve would be older and the Avengers equivalent (in that, they’re famous and well-established, etc. etc.) but the Akatsuki would be not evil, and also students who become heroes but only on a small scale?

Agh, I don’t know, does that make sense?

And so Deidara’s a Shikako fanboy and totally jumps on the chance to be a hero like her and tries to emulate her explosion abilities with his own clay bombs… I think I just made Deidara into Honey Lemon?

So it would be more about how AU²!Akatsuki become misfit heroes and at the end get to meet the members of Konoha Twelve who are basically like “good job kids” and that’s… all I’ve got, sorry anon, this is really outside of my scope I think. :/

Trapped In The Lightbulb Fixation

One day, Deidara’s going to be a famous badass billionaire artist/hero and impress Iron Hart. Today, he has to try not to get kicked out of his chem lab for causing an explosion.

Or, how Deidara and his friends stumble into heroism and learn the cost of power (here’s a hint: it starts with an R and ends with an -esponsibility)

I just discovered from this summary I wrote that Shikako is apparently the Iron Man equivalent? Hart as in deer, but maybe a pun on heart because the Gelel stone is powering her arc reactor? Okay then… sure.

DoS Prompt: Shikako/Gaara–“it didn’t make sense, but Deidara’s fixation on Shikako angered him as much (if not more than) the whole ‘trying to kill me and my village’ thing” aka the forum’s thing of Deidara and Shikako being explosion buddies (or rivals) and Gaara’s repressed/hidden feelings/crush acting up at the wrong time?

I’m going to be honest, anon, I don’t see how I’d write this without it being massively OOC or in a completely separate AU. Because whether it’s friendship or rivalry, I can’t really imagine canon Shikako devoting more brainpower to a member of the Akatsuki beyond how to defeat them.

And, well, Deidara views explosions as art–Shikako is more utilitarian than that. She likes explosions but not inherently? They’re efficient and impressive and exciting, but she’s not going around blowing up things for the thrill of it. It’s like… a lot of people are mesmerized by bonfires, but only a small percentage of people are arsonists.

And then, on top of that, my interpretation of Gaara’s character is a little incompatible to a scene of romcom-esque misunderstanding leading to jealousy at an inopportune time. Especially not post-Deidara-attacking-Suna, you know? Like, Konoha (and Shikako and Naruto in particular) is Gaara’s standard of what good people do–there’s no way he’d think that Shikako would approve of such a person who would be part of Akatsuki and attack Suna. Deidara’s fixation/admiration of Shikako doesn’t even factor, I think.

That being said: now that I’ve covered how that wouldn’t work in an in-character canon ‘verse, the basis of this prompt could lead to an interesting plot in an AU.

Off the top of my head, I can see this working pretty well in the modern royalty!AU that came up during the Ask Box Three Sentence Fic event. I mean, obviously, in this AU Shikako doesn’t know what’s going to happen next since… AU… but maybe she does know canon so she recognizes people but not their context. There’s no ninja, no chakra, so a lot of her knowledge doesn’t really apply, so maybe she gives people the benefit of the doubt.

She meets Deidara and, hey, he’s just a performance artist and that’s not inherently bad. An artist with slightly anarchist tendencies, yes, but Shikako has frequently been on the wrong side of bureaucracy that she can understand the appeal. Maybe, without the bijuu and ninja, he really is just an artist.

Hahahahaha, lol, nope. Turns out Akatsuki does exist and is an anti-monarchy terrorist group.

So you can get the Shikako and Deidara as friends/friendly rivals without it being OOC for Shikako, while still maintaining the whole… Deidara has attacked Suna and attempted to assassinate the Wind Country royal family. And probably it’d be more of a “Gaara feels betrayed because he thinks Shikako is part of Akatsuki” than a “Gaara is jealous/possessive of Shikako.”

I guess, if I were to make an outline of this fic it would also have a sprinkle of university!AU too because the timeline I have is something like:

  • Shikako is a university student and Deidara is an alumni/grad student of the same specialty/major (ie, explosions). They meet, become friends, etc.
  • During a break, Shikako goes home–Shikaku brings up the whole “the clan needs to send a representative to the coronation of the crown princess of Wind Country,” and Shikako is conscripted.
  • Coronation! Shikako and Gaara meet–paparazzi turn them into the fairy tale romance of the century.
  • Over the weeks of trying to manage the media, Shikako and Gaara do actually begin to fall in love (I’m a sucker for epistolary fics).
  • BUT THEN–Akatsuki attacks Suna/attempts to assassinate Her Royal Majesty, Temari the First! Security is tightened around the Wind royal family. Gaara is, understandably, rattled, Shikako is worried.
  • The authorities discover that Deidara is part of Akatsuki, Shikako is revealed to be a known associate.

(Unsure how the following events are organized but considering this is the emotional/dramatic climax of the non-existent movie it’d make sense for it to be a flurry of scenes but basically):

  • CONFRONTATION: Gaara, feeling betrayed, accuses Shikako of being a part of Akatsuki or possibly a patsy and endangering his family.
  • SCANDAL: The media, constantly on both of their tails considering the whole “fairy tale romance of the century” jump all over the drama.
  • FALLOUT: Akatsuki (or, specifically Deidara and Sasori), seeing the opportunity of having their actions highly publicized, kidnap both Shikako and Gaara?
  • RECONCILIATION/BADASSERY: Gaara apologizes, argument resolved, the two of them (despite being “pampered royalty/nobility”) totally break out as the authorities do a rescue mission. Media is back to being all over this “fairy tale romance of the century” except now when they say “fairy tale” they mean more the slaying dragons kind.

Yeah? 😀

Ask Box Three Sentence Fic, 6/? (2016-10-29)

(1 – anonymous – Shikako/Haku, Project Runway!AU)

“I could dress him in garbage,” Shikako groans from where she’s mashed her face onto the table, “and the judges wouldn’t even notice because he’s so damn beautiful.”

Kiba stares at her, unaware or uncaring of the bright fuchsia sparkles smeared across his face, “You have, actually, dressed him in trash; you won that week’s challenge.”

Shikako sighs wistfully, remembering the distressed vintage-inspired wedding gown she made out of discarded coffee cups: gods, Haku had looked so good in it, and he was so kind about her last minute meltdown when the zipper broke and she had to practically hot glue him into the gown–he’s so out of her league.

(2 – anonymous – Shikako/Deidara, fanboy-ing over Touch Blast)

Sasori glances at his partner: the irritation is normal, the embarrassment is familiar, but the bewilderment? That’s new.

“She touched my face,” Deidara sighs almost dreamily; the seal sequence is inert–Deidara is an S-rank demolitions expert, if he doesn’t want something to explode it won’t–but he’s kept the pattern on his face as if it were an autograph.

(3 – anonymous – Shikako/Gaara, youkai!AU… Inuyasha!AU?)

“Gaara,” she says as calmly as possible, though she can hear the wavering in her voice, “You need to give me the Gelel shard, please, I haven’t purified it yet.”

His green eyes, normally so kind, are clouded over, the markings on his face more vibrant and lethal.

The moon is full tonight.

(4 – anonymous – Shikako/Sasuke, Hades and Persephone!AU)

“He just needs a place to lay low for a bit,” says Naruto, god of tricksters, wind, and the only deity who regularly visits her home.

The Underworld isn’t exactly a welcoming place, but it is the last place people would think to look for the god of summer’s little brother, and she could do with some company.

If Shikako had known it would lead to a six month long literal cold war and a semipermanent roommate she wouldn’t have–well, no, she’s fond of Sasuke, the half year long siege was worth it.

(5 – anonymous – Walking Around ‘verse Team Seven, What Would Sakako Do?)

When Shikako was younger and needed guidance–needed to be wilder or braver or kinder–she would ask herself: What Would Naruto Do?

Over twenty years later, she’d be pleased to know, his son does the same with her daughter.

What Would Sakako Do?

~

A/N: Should I post these on ao3? And if so, as a separate work or as chapter(s) on Dreaming One Shots…