Fake Fic Summaries, 20/? the Hercules!AU edition (2017-01-27)

jacksgreysays:

A/N: So I only saw the artwork for @lumorie’s Hercules!AU and it wasn’t until after I brain-barfed this out did I realize that there was an entire filled out universe so… uh… I guess this is more accurately inspired-by-the-Hercules!AU!AU?

I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes T_T…

~

Yuri on Quest

The god of victory has disappeared and for some awful reason, it’s up to Yuri, god of war and youngest of the pantheon, to go find him.

It’d be a lot easier if these humans didn’t keep mistaking him for a damsel in distress.

So, yeah. It’s not really a Hercules!AU so much as it is a more general Greek mythology!AU.

Mostly because, while I love the artwork of Yuri-as-Meg and Otabek-as-Hercules, the whole “Hercules asks Meg if she is a damsel in distress” is kind of counterintuitive to Otabek’s “you have the unforgettable eyes of a soldier.”

So Winner Winnerson, unsurprisingly, as the god of victory who has gone to court Yuuri Katsuki who may or may not be a demigod or an oracle/priest of the goddess of music/one of the Muses (Minako)?

But that’s not Yuri Plisetsky’s story so we don’t care about that (… for now).

Yakov, being head of his pantheon (god of strategy? discipline? justice? I don’t know), sends Yuri (god of war) to find the wayward Viktor and bring him home. Mila (goddess of strength) and Georgi (god of passion? suffering? geez this is hard) also kind of help out/bug Yuri, but since they stay in their deity forms no one else can see them.

Oh, yeah, so for ~some reason~ Yuri has to assume a “human form” to find Viktor. Hence why humans keep thinking he’s a damsel in distress. Because, yes, he is very pretty and tiny but he’s actually an immortal ball of war and fury so…

Otabek, a demigod hero, is the first to see Yuri as not-a-damsel and joins his quest to find Viktor. Because that’s what friends do. And also, getting to hang out with the actual god of war is fun.

Along the way they meet some other characters who are either gods from other pantheons, demigods on their own quests, or mythological creatures who may or may not have seen the god of victory but what kind of quest would it be if the quester was just handed the answer?

Or, perhaps, news has spread that Yuri is on a quest to find the god of victory, but others think that it’s some kind of like… whoever finds him first gets granted a wish kind of thing or whoever can defeat the god of victory in human form gets to be the new god of victory… so now there’s all these people who are trying to find Viktor first and now it’s some kind of race?

I’ll admit, I’m not exactly sure.

Anyway, demigod!Otabek and god-of-war!Yuri on the greek mythological version of a road trip to find Viktor. 🙂

At the end, when they do find Viktor, Yuri’s just like: you have to come back, Yakov said so, and anyway you’re immortal and piggy’s just human it can never be.

Except, you know, after traveling (and falling in love) with Otabek, Yuri now knows that feel and he doesn’t like anything he’s saying either. And it’s just like, fine, whatever, what’s one human lifetime to a god I’ll just hang out with you until you die and when you die I’ll turn your spirit into a constellation and bring you up to Olympus where we can be together for eternity or whatever.

Yakov allows it because while he is head of his pantheon, his pantheon are a bunch of unruly overpowered brats and keeping them happy is as much to reduce his stress levels as it is because he’s fond of them (and he’s a sap for a good love story).

(Lilia may or may not be the Head of the Muses and both aware and unimpressed-yet-amused by the entire situation. She has very complex emotions)

So in this AU there’s no actual villain, I guess. Or, well, not like how Hades was in Hercules.

Maybe JJ is one of those who think “if I defeat the god of victory while he’s human, then I’ll become the new god of victory” and Yakov’s demand for Viktor to come back is very harsh and imposing in the beginning, but that’s basically the extent of it?

Chris is definitely the Aphrodite equivalent. And Phichit must be Hermes. The Crispino twins are Apollo and Artemis… etc. etc. I have the most adamant belief that Leo and Guang Hong have an Achilles and Patroclus thing going on, minus the dying part because I’m so soft. Though they’ll only be minor characters considering this is Yuri P’s story.

@fahye has a fantastic fic called hood & glove which might as well be what I wanted out of this fake fic brainstorm except BETTER AND WITH FAERIES.

Seriously, go read it. It’s got such a nice feel to it, I can so clearly see every scene in my head. Absolutely beautiful.

Flip To The Last Page, 5/? (2017-02-06)

The heart of the issue is that, in order to best utilize the bond between the Nara twins, they have to be separated.

Synchronized battle rhythms could be trained; compounded shadow jutsu, while impressive, cannot compare to the strategic value of instantaneous intel.

For the benefit of Konoha, the twins would have to be separated.

More than that, one of them would have to be on a frontline team.

The question is which one?

Their first two years at the Academy, very few adults think Shikako will make the cut.

She is certainly intelligent enough, unusual determination aside, and that’s not even including her bond with her brother. The problem, of course, is the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of her atypical chakra system.

Chakra exercises don’t come up until third year, but already the side affects are seen. Physically, she can’t match her classmates. Every so often, her coils burn or her levels drop worryingly low with no real predictable pattern.

Absences from classes aren’t a problem–twin bond keeping her up to date on lessons–but it’s a not a promising trait in a potential soldier. Unreliable and sickly and unable to keep up.

Perhaps its for the best, though, some of the teachers think, a future Jounin Commander who can be in two places at once–on the field and in the village both–relaying information and troop movements in real time.

A glorified messenger hawk.

Fortunately for Shikako, she has an epiphany on her chakra.

Unfortunately for Shikamaru, his sister has an epiphany on her chakra.

The twins are tested.

Or perhaps that is not the correct term.

They are assessed and observed accordingly to properly place them into teams.

Which is not to say the rest of their Academy class–or, at least, the elites of the class–do not also get the attention of the teachers. Genin team formations are not something to be taken lightly.

But for the twins, extra care is taken. Or perhaps extra criteria are considered.

Ino-Shika-Cho of course, but for which twin? And what to do with the other twin…

A support team or a heavy hitter combat team? Maybe a revival of the apprenticeship system: but with a jounin firmly grounded in the Intel Division or one who travels to foreign lands?

What should be done with the Nara twins?

~

A/N: Some more based on @donapoetrypassion’s response for what the adults think of the Nara twins’ genin team placement.

I don’t think I’ll stray too far from canon!DoS since… well… why would I? But I kind of like to bring up the possibilities of different avenues.

Can you imagine Shikako having a formal apprenticeship with Aoba (he is a jounin, after all)? Or, Shinigami forbid, Ibiki?

And, you know, it’d be pretty smart to keep one of the twins in the village at all times if they’re really going to lean into the twin bond. Either medic nin or intel nin could work for that…

The Zoo

molded-from-clay:

So my bf and I were discussing the first generation of humans to be abducted from Earth and placed in Pink Diamond’s zoo. Ideally (as messed up as that sounds) PD would’ve had to abduct at least 200+ humans to ensure genetic diversity and prevent inbreeding, assuming she snatched them from countries furthest away from each other. 

Anything less than 50 people would not have survived this long, at least not without some major repercussions. (Some inbreeding might explain the green eyes, though.)

And I’m not sure just how advanced the gem technology was in that assimilation bay (where they sprayed Steven clean), but exposing Greg to that isolated group could potentially kill them all within a week by disease transmission.

Or perhaps I’m just overthinking this whole thing

Given the number of Rose Quartzes bubbled (and the theory going around that they were specifically designed to be human caretakers unlike the Amethysts who were supposed to be foot soldiers) I think it’s probable that Pink Diamond’s first generation of humans were a huge enough population to ensure genetic diversity.

I think, most likely, the amount of humans left in the zoo is either due to waning interest in the zoo itself (the other Diamonds don’t really care about preserving the species–or not as much as Pink Diamond must have), lack of skilled caregivers (Amethysts don’t have the healing powers or biology-based abilities that Rose Quartzes did) or the small group we saw in the episode was only one of many “habitats” of the over all zoo. For example, maybe siblings are deliberately separated to prevent inbreeding. Or pregnant humans are in a “maternity habitat” or (except for Steven) children are in a “nursery habitat” or something like that.

I suppose the disease issue might be circumvented if the liquid Steven and Greg were submerged in were like Rose Quartz’s fountain of healing?

My particular overthinking subject was how these humans descended from the original population stolen five thousand years ago were capable of understanding modern day language.

I mean… unless since the Voice in the earrings spoke that language that, technically, humans on Earth are speaking Gem language?

Blitzkrieg, part two (2017-02-05)

scurrying, chittering
crumbs on the floor
tiny paws, tiny mouths
patient and afraid

thudding and whining
along comes the dog
tamed and shameless
but well fed

beware the cat

No one is at home.

This is not a surprise.

No one is ever at home.

The girl–“it might be better if we don’t know each other’s names yet”–looks around curiously. He wonders what she sees, if she can spot the details of his life as easily as she could perceive him in a crowd.

“Please come in,” he says, toeing off his shoes and placing them neatly in the cubby by the door.

“Ah, please excuse me,” she responds by reflex, and doing the same with her own shoes.

“My house,” he says, inanely, as he guides her to the dining room, “You said somewhere private would be better. Would you like tea?”

“If it’s not any trouble,” she says, looking at him–and what a surprise that is every time–expression confused and nearly concerned, “I thought maybe you’d bring me to an empty park or something like that, not your house.”

He shrugs, kettle heating, preparing two cups.

“You’re overly trusting,” she chides, and perhaps, in a way, she’s right.

It’d be more accurate to say he’s desperate.

eight strokes
empty
horizon curving
endless nonexistent

at the heart
of every wish
is a lack

Over cups of steaming tea, the girl tells him about impossibilities. Powers beyond human capability sealed away within every human on the planet.

He thinks maybe she is playing a cruel trick–he her gullible audience–until she actually shows him.

It costs him one hundred yen, but she gives the sliced halves of the coin right back.

“Mine are Lightning Flames,” she explains, fingernail sparking bright green.

The expression on his face must speak for itself, because she continues, “Yeah, I’m not sure why they’re called that. There’s a kind called Rain too and it basically acts just like water does. Really, the only type which has a name that makes sense is the Sun Flames.”

“And you think I have these Flames, too?” he asks, hopeful but doubting. He’s only ever been a shadow–or maybe a lens if he’s being generous–to someone else’s light.

Again that expression of pity and guilt flickers over her face. She hesitates.

“… not yet.”

the absence of pleasure
is apathy
numbness spreading
cold skin

the absence of pain
is pleasure
relief and recovery
salt copper heat

which is stronger?
which is true?

“I need to consult with the others,” she says, firm in her denial, “I don’t know how much is safe to tell you yet. There’s the very real risk that if I tell you more–”

“–you’ll have to kill me?” he interrupts, disappointed and snide because of it.

Her silence is rebuke and confirmation both, enough that he stops. Remember the coin, his blood seems to sing, how easily she split the metal as if paper.

The sound of her putting on her shoes is simultaneously ominous and reassuring.

“My card,” she says, which jars him out of his fear. “I know, right? What kind of teenager has business cards–how pretentious,” she rolls her eyes as she holds out the card.

Ivory card stock with rich green letters providing an email address and phone number. No name, though, only a strange crest at the top and a lightning bolt below that.

“There are dangerous secrets in this world,” she warns, “but if you decide you really want to know or if you need my help… if you think the knowledge is worth the danger. Then you’ll know how to reach me.”

He takes the card.

She leaves, still nameless to him.

The card goes into a desk drawer, forgotten for almost two years.

Flip To The Last Page, 4/? (2017-02-03)

For Nara, school tends to be easy.

For Nara twins, school is hilariously easy.

For Nara twins in which half of the set is reincarnated with an entire adult experience, it’s almost disgusting how easy school is.

Still, at least Shikako pretends to pay attention. Shikamaru doesn’t even bother.

Then again, she knows even without their telepathy he’d be the kind of student to sleep in class.

In his defense, it’s the kind of day for it–warm but not sweltering, Iruka-sensei’s lecture just the right level of monotonous–and she’d be tempted to do the same if she wouldn’t also feel guilty about it immediately.

As it is, she can still reap the benefits, enjoying the secondhand nap from her twin. The way their bond becomes a little muddled; not blocked off, but slower and stickier, like sweets being stretched apart or the slow drip of honey. The contents of her brother’s dreams flutter to her, fat friendly bumblebees with pollen on their fuzzy legs, and she wonders what’s filtering back to him from her end.

The topic of today’s class is Fire Country geography, political system, and civics–redundant for any clan kid but especially so for one part of the Akimichi-Nara-Yamanaka alliance. Her book, thankfully, is more interesting.

For her, at least. She’s sure her classmates don’t find the Analysis of Theoretical and Experimental Ninjutsu by Tobirama Senju particularly interesting. Or much of anyone else in the village, actually.

According to the check out card on the front cover, the last time this book was borrowed was before she was born.

Still, maybe the fun parts are flowing to Shikamaru. The exciting possibilities of new jutsu, of flying on wind currents or bending light around oneself–superpowers in a world of shinobi.

She hopes so. Shikamaru deserves to be a child while he can.

It only happened the once, when both of them were coming off of an awful cold, heads still muzzy but no longer feverish and ill. They woke up, got dressed, went to school.

It didn’t become apparent until kunoichi class that something might be… off.

“Shikamaru?” Sakura asks oddly hesitant. She’s still somewhat shy and soft spoken, but Shikako thought, as friends, they’d progressed beyond that.

Confused, Shikako turns around looking for her brother.

Ino yanks her sleeve before she can embarrass herself further, “Shikako?”

“Yeah…” she says slowly, skeptically. Pranking isn’t really how the three of them get along, and she’s not exactly seeing the humor of this prank besides.

The sudden realization of what is going on makes her glance at her hands, but that doesn’t tell her much.

Thankfully, Sakura pulls out a little pocket mirror from her bag.

In the reflection, Shikamaru looks back.

‘Ah,’ the both of them think, and the sense-feeling of stopping mid stride flashes to Shikako from her body.

“I know this happens with Yamanaka twins,” Ino says, “But I didn’t know it happened to Nara twins, too.”

“Hmm,” Shikako responds noncommittally, absolutely bewildered.

“You’ll go back to normal after you both sleep for a bit,” Ino says matter of fact, doling out her expertise benignly. “At least,” she adds a little sheepishly, “that’s what Dad told Minako-oba when my cousins switched for a day.”

Sakura, far less hesitant now that she knows it’s Shikako–albeit in Shikamaru’s body–asks, “Should we tell Suzume-sensei that you’ll be absent today?”

Both of them consider it and Shikamaru–still in Shikako’s body–shrugs.

“No,” Shikako says, shrugging Shikamaru’s shoulders as well, “I can learn like this, too. I’ll just tell her what happened so we don’t get in trouble.”

Which is how the twins–and everyone else in kunoichi class, for that matter–learn that Shikamaru is absolutely tone deaf.

~

A/N: Second section for @donapoetrypassion who wanted Shikamaru going to kunoichi lessons 😀

Blitzkrieg, part one (2017-02-02)

No
she chokes out
heart in her throat
pulse and breath
teeth biting into
muscle and sinew
blood on her tongue.
No

“Oh,” says the girl, sidelong glance unsurprised, “Nice trick.”

For a moment he doesn’t understand, glances around to see who she might be speaking to. Surely it can’t be him.

There are people walking, yes, but the crowd flows around them like a river around a rock. Unheeding, unaware.

“I’m talking to you,” she says, head turning, gaze more focused. Looking directly at him.

“You can see me?”

We were the fallen,
sunlight through grey clouds,
air heavy
foreboding.

The sweet relief
of closed eyes,
secrets hidden behind
a false dream.

Scraping feet
scratching nails,
one two rhythm
of being on the run.

We were the fallen,
without wings or fire
or swords
empty.

The chatter of the restaurant is annoying, but all the better to cover their conversation.

“Vanilla milkshake,” she says, placing it on the table in front of him. Already the glass is beading with condensation, confection spilling over with cream and sprinkles.

Across from him she sits, sandwich and chips in a bright red basket, sliced pickle on the side.

“I’m surprised no one tried to steal the table,” she says, gesturing to the crowd waiting–standing room only.

“It’s not really invisibility,” he tries to explain, “It’s just that people don’t notice me.”

“Except for me,” she says, matter of fact, before biting into her sandwich.

“Yes,” he says, “except for you…”

They sit in near silence, chewing sounds notwithstanding, as he considers the situation.

“What did you mean by nice trick?” he asks, finally.

She pauses, swallows, furrows her brow, “Well, I thought you were doing it on purpose.”

the world sighs
scars forgotten
shuddering fearing
another blow

two minutes
to midnight
hands creeping
forward

quickly quietly
the loss of faith
sudden and sharp
our last

“If this is what you’re like without training,” she continues, as if her words aren’t currently shaking his foundations, “You’ll probably be ridiculously powerful if you ever get activated properly.”

Training? Activated? Powerful?

Him? The boy nobody can see?

Impossible.

“Anyway,” she adds, finishing up her basket–the sandwich long consumed, the pickle and chips swiftly disappearing–before wiping off the grease on her fingers, “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m only here for a short job, so don’t worry about running into me again.”

She stands up, the action jarring him out of his thoughts.

“Enjoy the milkshake, yeah? As an apology,” she says, before leaving.

“W-wait, please!” He calls out, hand reaching out, but not touching. The look she casts is forbidding, warning. He wouldn’t dare.

But she stops and humors him anyway.

“What did you mean about…” he trails off, unsure. He doesn’t know enough to ask questions, only knows that he has questions.

A different expression flickers over her face: pity tinged with guilt.

“It’s called Flames.”

~

A/N: Many moons ago, when Trailblazers was still its original fully titled Trailblazers Bright and Bold, I wrote tiny snippets set in a TBaB and Kuroko no Basket fusion in which somehow Kuroko was Tetsuki’s son and she travelled in time to meet him? I don’t know, it was based off an even stranger dream in which Kuroko was her son that her future self travelled back in time to give birth to such that they were the same age at the same time.

Anyway, this is not that.

But I still kind of liked the idea that Kuroko’s misdirection ability was due to unactivated Wave Energy (and that the other Generation of Miracle’s abilities were also unactivated Wave Energy spilling over into their basketball style), and so this is what shook out.

I don’t know if I’ll do anything more with it, but I was fond of the idea–strange as it was–and what better way to express that than writing it out after a shitty day at work 😀

edit: This crossover series is now called Blitzkrieg!

Flip To The Last Page, 3/? (2017-02-01)

‘Don’t do that,’ Shikako thinks at him pointedly even as he climbs over the fence to where the fawns are held.

‘Don’t do what,’ Shikamaru thinks back at her, tinged with denial and guilt and envy over her being allowed to sleep in.

‘I’m not sleeping in today because I want to,’ Shikako shoots back at him along with, ‘Don’t scheme against me. You’re supposed to be on my side’

Shikako coughs, lungs rattling and nerves zinging, both overflowing with chakra. Mum presses a hand to her cheek, careful and gentle and afraid.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she says, “Breathe with me, Shikako. Breathe with Mummy.”

This is one of the worst attacks she’s had in a while, but at least it’s not bad enough to send her to the hospital.

Yet.

‘You don’t have to go to the Academy,’ Shikamaru thinks at her, mutinous, lining up the bottles of formula for the fawns who need nutritional support, ‘You don’t have to be a shinobi.’

‘You forgot a sixth bottle,’ she thinks, even as she tries to take deep breaths alongside Mum, ‘Dad said there was a late birth yesterday.’

In the deer pen, Shikamaru’s breathing syncs up with hers. He pulls out another bottle.

Mum relaxes, presses a kiss to Shikako’s forehead and pulls the blankets up to her chin, “There we go. Sleep well, Shikako.”

‘You’ll be in danger,’ one of them thinks, as Shikako’s eyes flutter closed and Shikamaru starts feeding the first fawn, ‘Why won’t you let me protect you?’

Dreaming is strange for them. Well, stranger than dreaming already is. Stranger than what Shikako thinks she remembers.

Shikamaru has never dreamed without her.

He claws his way out of a deep, oppressive miasma of hatred, red on the back of his eyelids. He doesn’t remember this night from his own point of view, but Shikako’s memory of it might as well be crystal.

The village around him is warped. Caught between a hyperreal reflection of what he’s experienced–every pebble and crack in the road standing out–and the bright cartoony visions that come from his sister, everything flat and jarring.

“Shikako,” he calls out, looking behind him. Tonight his shadow is just a shadow, dark and unsmiling.

It used to be that Shikako would be there, looking back up at him. Or a blurry presence more heard and felt than seen.

Now, more often than not, her inner self matches her physical self.

“Over here,” she calls back, a flashing image of the Academy building.

Not always, though, he sees. Tonight she is more amorphous than not, unfamiliar height but familiar colors. A vague adult version of herself, perhaps.

“I am an adult,” she says from in front of a lone wooden swing.

“I’m not,” he says, waiting.

Between one thought and the next, a boy appears in the swing. Blonde and pouting and important.

Tomorrow is the first day of Academy–for the both of them, a matter long argued and only recently settled.

They’re meeting Naruto for the first time tomorrow.

Change is inevitable.

~

A/N: Thanks for reading, @flyingisthewaytotravel 😀

While I do think it’s in character for Shikamaru to want to keep Shikako out of the Academy, I don’t see how he would be able to go around her without her knowing and resenting him for it. And, as far as he knows, her going to the Academy doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll end up on a team or anything–she might end up a paperwork nin due to her chakra hypersensitivity. (Won’t he be unpleasantly surprised.)

Flip To The Last Page, 2/? (2017-01-31)

They are far from the first twins born in Konoha–far from the first twins born in the Nara clan even–but it is the first time that twins have been born to the clan head’s family.

The last time something similar happened was a generation ago with a different clan entirely.

And so it is only somewhat a surprise to the Nara twins that the first move is neither theirs nor any enemy’s, but that of Hiashi Hyuuga.

It is not only unusual but also, somehow, simultaneously presumptuous and deferential for a clan head to seek a private audience with a different clan’s heirs.

And yet…

Hizashi Hyuuga has been dead for less than a year.

Shikaku is not unkind.

(And if this will in any way help his children, well.)

Hiashi knows better than to underestimate the Nara twins, for all that they are only children. The Nara are not a threat because they choose not to be, not because they are incapable.

The children are silent.

That means nothing.

Hiashi remembers what it was like to be a twin.

In battle, he and his brother were unstoppable: overlapping Byakugan and a complete sphere of divination, constant fluid shared knowledge.

The strategic mind of a Nara with double the capacity–no, the ability squared–a seamless loop of thoughts, instantaneous infinite computations.

Hiashi will not underestimate them.

He does anyway.

(In his defense, the truth is beyond what anyone could possibly imagine on their own.)

“Does Neji have the cursed seal?” The girl child asks, gesturing to her own forehead in a disturbingly accurate portrayal of the Hyuuga clan’s Caged Bird Seal.

A lesser man may have flinched–at the audacity of the question, at the viscerally horrifying idea, at the clear yet inexplicable leak in clan secrets and to a child at that–but Hiashi is no such thing.

As is, perhaps his own brow furrows, jaw clenching for a moment before he answers, “No, of course not,” he says and does not clarify.

Clarification is not necessary–or at least, not from him–for the girl child turns to her brother with a look that no doubt has an accompanying mental gloat.

Before too long, the boy child shoots an unrelated, yet equally concerning question of his own, “Have you had any dealings with Councilman Danzo?”

His answer is the same as before.

Bizarrely, this seems to make the children smile.

Hiashi misses his brother keenly, fiercely, mind both loud and lonely, his own thoughts echoing back to him without Hizashi’s presence to temper them.

But he thinks, even with his twin, this meeting would still have been confusing.

~

A/N: … still not entirely sure where I’m going with this, but it’s definitely not headed in the original direction I thought it was so…?