Shikamaru, DOS, “Babysitting”

Babysitting

Doing a favor for his sister probably shouldn’t feel so much like doing a D-rank mission, but apparently–despite being S-rank war heroes–Team Seven really might as well be a bunch of children.

(Or, that ONE TIME Shikako asked her brother to look after her team for a week and he STUPIDLY agreed)

The funny thing is, I’m pretty sure that Shikamaru is actually really fond of actual children. The eagerness to help out with Baby Kino, the fact that his “dream” includes having two kids. If it didn’t require so much effort, he’d probably want to be an Academy teacher.

Shikamaru loves kids. He does not love overpowered idiots who act like kids. Poor Shikamaru, the title is not literal.

I don’t exactly know what would happen in this fic except for a bunch of The Hangover-esque shenanigans. I don’t even know why Shikako needs Shikamaru to watch her team.

Probably the rest of Team Ten is helping, too, but it’s very possible that Ino and Chouji contribute to the chaos: Ino and Sai have decided to paint floral murals on the administrative building, Chouji has brought all of Kakashi’s ninken to an all you can eat barbecue restaurant. Asuma (because… maybe he’s alive I don’t know) and Naruto are trying to outdo each other with wind ninjutsu and have managed to blow off the roofs of some buildings. They might also be having an ongoing heart to heart about their vastly differing emotions regarding the Sandaime. Sasuke keeps getting into fights with the chuunin on patrol. All of them. Every chuunin, every patrol. Shikamaru can’t find Kakashi ANYWHERE.

(Kakashi is definitely the child that wanders off in the grocery store and is only found when the PA system announces a clean up is needed in aisle four, will someone please collect their strange grey-haired child)

I think maybe it’s Shikako and Yakumo’s genjutsu-fuinjutsu collaboration. Or like a seal that’s meant to self-activate whenever a genjutsu is cast on the person (like an automatic kai) except it kind of backfired and now Team Seven think they’re in a genjutsu? Actually, now that I think about it… maybe they are actual literal children via temporary de-aging? Mentally, at least 😀 

Basically, it’s Shikamaru running around trying to herd the worst cats and his own team making things EVEN WORSE.

When Shikako comes back he swears never again.