fake fic title – the homework. may it involve iruka somehow.

I know I’ve already referenced The Hangover over in this fake fic title brainstorm but just the title alone for this one feels more Hangover-esque.

So I’m thinking pre-graduation for Team Ebisu (Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon) and Team Hana (Hanabi, Chiyako, and Ranmaru) on a field trip / survival training / group project of sorts with Iruka-sensei as the bewildered chaperone.

And while they’re not on par with Team Seven, these six are a heady mixture ready to blow. So maybe it’s something like six soon to be genin are sent on a D-rank mission–considering rising tensions and potential war on the horizon, official genin are being used on more critical missions and students are being transitioned into proper mission etiquette, etc. etc.

Anyway, temporary Team Iruka shenanigans. On the one hand, Iruka is very responsible so he shouldn’t lose track of his team (like a certain elite jounin who will not be named), but on the other hand the six students he has on his temporary team are very… strong-willed. And powerful.

Poor Iruka. He probably thought he was done with the chaos when Konoha Twelve graduated. -_-

I’m not sure what D-rank is… I mean catching Tora the cat seems like the obvious choice, but with a Hyuuga and an Aburame and four other to-be-genin, it would be overkill wouldn’t it? Then again, that’s the only D-rank mission iconic enough to be shenanigans-filled so…

Yeah. I mean, its the Inuzuka that really make catching Tora a cakewalk, and since this is without Hana as jounin sensei, it would be enough of a challenge. It’s not as if the Hyuuga train to specifically tell different cats apart, and I feel like Chiyako’s hives are a little more combat specialized than tracking specialized. I mean, still some tracking because kikaichu, but not as good as Shino.

So catching Tora. This damn cat has gotten especially wily over the years and its not like Konoha bystanders are going to help temporary Team Iruka with it (its a right of passage, and no one else wants to touch that hell cat) no matter how fond of Iruka-sensei everyone is.

I don’t know what else specifically I want from this story. So here’s a summary to finish things off:

The Homework

Team Iruka receive the mission to find Tora the cat with the biggest stakes on the line:

No, not impressing the Fire Lady, passing the class!

(Or, Konohamaru accidentally spends a day with his uncle, Moegi fights her fears, Udon learns more about himself, Ranmaru makes a new friend, Hanabi loses some dignity, Chiyako takes a chance, and Iruka-sensei can’t catch a break.)


Okay, about that rockstar!au. Gaara and Shikako would be on the low key wouldn’t they? Of course they would. Those two are very private people and not big on PDA. Nobody but close friends would know that the two are dating. Even the Sand Trio’s backstage team wouldn’t know. Because Shikako doesn’t look like a girlfriend. She’s not holding onto Gaara or trying to but into recording sessions or calling all the time. In fact, everyone assumes that Shikako is a stage hand. 

This is mostly her fault. Shikako became friends with Gaara before he got famous. The Sand Siblings didn’t become overnight sensations so there was a lot of shows done in bars or night clubs. It wasn’t Shikako’s scene but she went to support her friends. Doing nothing while the band got ready wasn’t Shikako’s cup of tea so she helped out. At first it was getting the sound right and doing some minor lighting adjustments. Then when they moved to bigger venues it was running around and putting that theater elective to the test. 

(Shikako maintains that she wasn’t responsible for the near fire that happened on the night the talent scout was in the audience. She will take credit for making it look like some badass pyrotechnics instead of a near disaster.

There’s a whole verse in Always You dedicated to this incident. Nobody believes Kankuro when he says that it is literal.) 

Now, the Sand Trio are pretty friendly towards their crew. Gaara knows everyone’s name, Temari is nice when you aren’t being an idiot, and Kankuro has everyone’s phone number. The ones that work with them frequently are less bodies and more vague friends. Shikako fits right in. Everyone assumes that she is one of those traveling stage hands that is going to school in between work. (Shikako travels around too. Research conferences aren’t all in the same place and she likes keeping up with the latest news.)

Now, the big reveal happens when Gaara shows up to one of her events. 

It rolls out like this:

Moegi moves through the crowd of doctors, researchers, and the lucky students trying to rub elbows with those that will get them into graduate schools. It’s the night to do it. Shikako Nara has just accepted an aware for pioneering the latest in prothetic engineering. As soon as the right steps are through, Nara Inc. is going to be the god of the medical world. 

Moegi wouldn’t be hear but Konohamaru had begged for her to cover this story. Their little start up newspaper needed some buzz after a bland week. Konohamaru had scored a press pass but wasn’t able to go and Udon cold was likely to send people running away from him. So, here she was. Pretending that she understood the jargon that everyone kept spouting. It was a good thing she had her recorder on her-was that Gaara Sabaku?

She doubled back and confirmed. The lead man for the Sand Trio was leaning against the back wall. He looked unimpressed about the party. Then again, he always looked unimpressed. Even during interviews, Gaara had on a cool mask and let his siblings do the talking. Moegi knew this irritated interviewers because everyone knew that Gaara was the driving force behind Sand Trio. She should ask why he’s here. Definitely. It’s not like she’s going to have a chance to talk with Shikako Nara. The woman is surrounded by doctors at the moment. So, Moegi detours and puts on her friendliest face.

“Hello! I’m Moegi from Konoha Press!” Her cheeriness seems to surprise Gaara. Or at least he blinks. “What brings you here tonight?” 

Gaara stares at her but Moegi holds her ground. She really does want just a few words. And his autograph. But she’s a journalist, a real one! She can do with out the autograph. 

“I’m here to congratulate Shikako on her achievement.” Gaara answers. 

“Oh, do you have an interest in prosthetics Gaara-san?”  He didn’t seem the science type but honestly, that made him hotter in Moegi’s opinion. 

“Not overly. It is an important field but I prefer my profession.” Ah a charity celebrity then. Moegi goes to ask another question when she is cut off by a voice.

“I was wondering where you went to.” Shikako Nara drifts over to them. The medal still around her neck. 

“Congratulations.” Gaara tells her. 

“Yes! Congratulations Nara-san.” Moegi adds. Shikako blinks at her. “Oh, I’m Moegi from Konoha Press.”

“Ah, right. Konohamaru said that he’d be sending someone tonight.” So, that’s where he got the press pass. 

“Nara-san, do you mind giving me a few words?” The woman shook her head. “Um, can I record this? Just to make sure that I get everything right?” 

“I don’t see why not.” 

Moegi hits record on her device and launches into the usual questions about Shikako’s work and it’s results. Eventually she asks how she knows Gaara and that’s when things get interesting. 

“We met in a bar back when I was doing graduate work.” 

“That must have been exciting.” Moegi gushes. 

“I doubt that.” Gaara says. “We were not famous yet and Shikako was too sleep deprive to notice anything that was not a foot from her.” 

“Hey, that’s….only a little bit true. I was stressed.” 

“Of course.” Moegi agrees. “Do you have any interest in music Nara-san?”

“Not outside of listening to it.” 

“Shikako’s singing leaves something to be desired.” Is…is Gaara teasing her? It look like Gaara is teasing Shikako. Considering the way Shikako scowled at him like Moegi scowls at her boyfriend. “She does help us out with our shows on occasion and with the music creation process.” 

Moegi dearly wants to jump on that but someone else comes over and she is forced to shut off her recorder and say goodbye. She goes back home and types up her article.

“I’m a professional journalist.” She tells herself. “A real professional journalist. I don’t do gossip columns. I’m a real journalist.” 

She keeps the article professional all the way until the last five lines where she can’t resist sneaking in “Muse for the Sand Trio.” to Shikako’s list of accomplishments. She hits send and it’s in the paper that morning. 

Moegi’s phone doesn’t stop ringing for the next two days. Every gossip column. Every tabloid wants to confirm that one line that has nothing to do with science. Moegi insists that it’s true but refuses to give out anything else. Not even for some startling amount of money.

Now, since the spot light has been shined on Shikako, people start noticing that she’s been with the Sand Trio’s on a lot of their gigs. A lot. Nobody really knows how she’s connected to the Sand Trio. Eventually, a reporter corners the three and asks what songs Shikako has inspired. 

“All of them.” Gaara answers. The reporter blinks. 


“Shikako has inspired all of my songs. Good day.” The Sand Trio stride away before another question can be asked. 

Things EXPLODE. 


Don’t Hold Back, (tiny) part 2 (2016-03-10)

Given Shikako has literally received a promotion due to her sensing ability, and seeing as how Shikamaru, Naruto, and Sasuke have the three chakra signatures most familiar to her, it would be ridiculously stupid for them to try to use stealth and follow her. Which is why they outsource it.

Or… try to. Team Ebisu and Team Hana are not making it easy.

“Okay, Boss,” Konohamaru says, entirely cooperative, “but you know we’re not gonna do this for free.”

Naruto looks at him, stunned.

“We’re officially shinobi of Konoha,” Moegi explains, only a little smugly, “And what you’re describing sounds an awful lot like a mission.”

“What?” Naruto bursts out, “You cheapskates!”

“It’s probably a D-rank, maybe a C-rank at most,” Hanabi says with a pointed glance at Sasuke, “It’s not like you can’t afford it.”

Admittedly, Sasuke is disgustingly rich even without all of the pay he’s received from near constant patrols interspersed with A-ranks and S-ranks. So it’s true that alone he could pay for two C-ranks easily.

Doesn’t mean he wants to give them the satisfaction.

“Extortionists. You’re already going to train with her today,” Sasuke grumbles.

“We just know what we’re worth,” Ranmaru says, pleased.

“Just pay them,” Shikamaru mutters, jabbing his elbow into Sasuke’s ribs, “Unless you don’t want to know you Shikako’s dating.” As if Shikamaru himself weren’t the most invested in finding out who his sister is involved with.

“Fine, but Naruto’s paying the other team,” because there are only two teenagers with more A-ranks and S-ranks than Sasuke, and both of them are his teammates.

“That’s okay,” Naruto agrees affably, “I had some down time during a mission in Tanzaku Gai two weeks ago.”

Unfortunately, Naruto’s good luck does not extend to the two genin teams. Or maybe it does, because their self-styled mission–and their pay–extends beyond one day.

It takes a month.

And mostly? They figure it out via a giant process of elimination.


A/N: So… I really did want to keep going but then I realized… I had no idea how yet? And I didn’t want this to just languish on my laptop for however long it took so… here’s this tiny installment. Hope ya’ll enjoy–especially you, @openace who reminded me about this particular DoS remix series.

Anyway, given how Konoha is super fond of “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” when it comes to team configurations and the whole “Shikako’s stray thoughts are actually hella important foreshadowing” I figured that while the Konohamaru corps became Team Ebisu as in canon, the other kids would be the Team Eight remake–that is, this time it’s Aburame-Hyuuga-genjutsu specialist genin with an Inuzuka sensei. And I like to think that Hana gets promoted during the time skip and, in the same way Kurenai became a sensei, she does too. Also, I just really like the idea of each of the Haimaru brothers having a specific genin they watch over.

I suppose where it’s implied that Kurenai’s Team Eight is a tracking team eventually specializing in hunting down missing nin/enemies, Team Hana would be more a tracking team eventually specializing in search and rescue kind missions.

edit: added to Dreaming One Shots along with part 1