Sorta prompt – I think Shikako would have been team 7 even if Sakura had done better b/c politics, but what if, say, Shikaku was worried about Kyuubi after Naruto discovered it and requested she not be on that team? And arranged for a different, medical orientated sensei for Shikako’s new team. Because when I first skimmer over med au that is what I thought was happening

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Team Medic AU is following the very minor and stray thought Shikako had in like… chapter six or something very early on… that if Team One (aka Sakura, Jiro, and Youbirin from the Academy) had gotten a medic-nin as a jounin sensei they might have passed and become another genin team. @kuipernebula and I went back and forth a while trying to figure how that would work, what Jiro and Youbirin would be like, how Sakura would be different from canon, etc (you can check out most of it via the Team Medic tag).

Shikako being on Team Seven instead of Sakura because of politics does make sense, because that’s how it’s set up in DoS and snubbing the Jounin Commander/Nara Clan head’s only daughter is not something a person would want to do. But I do also understand and am interested in Shikako being on a different team specifically because her father asked for it.

Because, okay, you can’t really be an overprotective father as a shinobi but there’s probably a way to mitigate the danger your children might be in somehow. Because from a father’s point of view? Having your only daughter be on the same team with three unstable orphans with more power than sense? Not a good thing. Regardless of Naruto knowing or not.

(I actually think Shikaku would be more okay with Shikako being on the same team as a Naruto who knew about the Kyuubi than one who did not. As a strategist it just seems weird that he’d be okay with one person on his daughter’s team not knowing their own capabilities as opposed to being afraid when he does know? And I like the idea that Shikaku knew Kushina and sees so much of her in Naruto that him being the jinchuuriki isn’t the problem, but rather him not knowing is the problem. It’s like giving a kid a button that will set off a bomb but not telling him it will set off a bomb, just telling him not to push it. And, come one, you know Naruto would be the kind of kid to push a button someone told him not to if the consequences weren’t explained to him.)

With Shikamaru, he trusts that Ino and Chouji has his back because he was teammates with Inoichi and Chouza and he knows both of them raised their children right. But he doesn’t have that security with Team Seven, so why not assign her to a team that would be safer?

And sure, maybe it’s not as prestigious, but he doesn’t have to worry about her being on the a team with a bunch of boys (Kakashi included) whose collective reputation amounts to death and destruction. And you know what? Maybe Youbirin is the Nohara clan heir? It’s not a snub to put her on the same team as him. And Jiro’s backstory (as kuipernebula and I have developed) wouldn’t quite match the two children of clan heads, but it’s not so much better off than Sakura’s civilian family status and from the Academy sensei’s point of view, Jiro and Youbirin have proven to work together well, even if Shikako isn’t actually one of their friends.

So yes, I can see a Team Medic AU!AU of Shikako being on Team Medic instead of Sakura–and I can see her wanting to follow the path of a combat medic–but I also definitely see why Silver Queen did not go for it because she basically would be writing three OCs trying to become friends instead of one OC trying to figure out her place in the universe. Oh, wait, no, also the jounin-sensei; so four OCs. Which at that point is so far removed from the original canon that it wouldn’t be as compelling as DoS.

I think what I like about Team Medic AU (the one with Sakura, that is) is that, given the frequency with which Shikako’s off-hand comments/observations end up coming true, this would have been the first one and also the most major one of DoS. And, more than that, it would be evidence that her existence does have an effect on the world and not just in a bad way (see: Shikako’s guilt regarding Ino being on the Sasuke Retrieval team and Shikamaru’s during the Land of Moon arc).

I honestly feel like having Team Medic exist would make Shikako feel better and put less pressure on herself. Because here is a team of genin that didn’t exist beforehand, that are all learning how to become medic which can only benefit the universe. And sure there are some negatives (Youbirin falling prey to Kabuto’s machinations at least temporarily) but ultimately here is a thing that her existence alone has changed. Not her decisions.

And I think that’s something that’s been weighing on her for the past dozen or so chapters–that the only changes she’s been making recently have been deliberate and have all ended up in someone hurt or something gone wrong. With Team Medic it would be a constantly visible proof of her presence having some good–I mean, Haku might also have the same effect but given he’s in another country entirely, Shikako doesn’t see him as often. (She’s just been really stressed lately, okay, I’m so worried about her emotional and mental health.)

Team Medic brainstorm (2016-05-02)

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Okay so it’s way past when I should be asleep but I had this idea and I wanted to share, @kuipernebula.

So, basically it was Team Medic sort of all getting adopted by Tsunade. Like, Sakura primarily still, obviously as her new actual apprentice but the other two a little bit in asimilar way to Jiraiya giving Shikako fuinjutsu advice.

Because if Jiro’s specialty is genjutsu and healing then wouldn’t it make sense that he would be able to understand how Tsunade wakes up Shikako and Kakashi after watching her do it? And a lot of his lightning-specific ideas are awfully fascinating–there’s not much that surprises her in the medical field. So a lot of it is Tsunade going–why would you do that?–and at first Jiro is like… sorry, am I doing it wrong? I hope not… but eventually his confidence builds up and he’s like. No way, I know this will work, I can totally defend my thesis paper–and he goes on to make innovations in the field of medicine because he basically discovered the human nervous system? Or something?

With Youbirin I think it’d be hilarious if it were something like–okay, so, being the badass she is, she’s never really the first medic on a case, especially not at the hospital. She only gets referred a case if it’s something the Medic Corps can’t handle and they are actually really competent so it’s only the weird ones that get passed to her. And the first medic is always there to describe verbally what they did what the situation is, which is good because medics’ handwriting, as a whole, is absolutely awful. Like the thing about doctor’s having terrible handwriting? That basically applies.

Not Tsunade, though, because she is basically Konoha royalty and probably had calligraphy/handwriting lessons. Which is why she can barely read the scribbles of other medics’ notes. But Youbirin grew up in a clan comprised mostly of medics. He can read literally any kind of handwriting–he is the mythical pharmacist equivalent of this world. So she has him become basically like a mini Shizune back up just so she doesn’t have to deal with all of the shitty handwriting the and at first it seems like it’s just paperwork, but in actuality he’s learning an awful lot especially when it comes to being a diagnostician.

Like Sakura gets everything she does in canon (except sooner) but I kinda like the idea of Team Medic and Tsunade being like House the TV series except Tsunade is far more badass and well-adjusted than House is. With Shizune being a little bit the role of Wilson but more like Foreman after House has gotten a new batch of baby doctors.

…

I also had some feels about Team Medic sharing an apartment together and being sleep-deprived, barely functioning adults but nothing really concrete so…

Word Prompts (AA1): +

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It’s just basic arithmetic. If one death can save many, it’s logical to sacrifice the individual for the greater good.

Consider also this: two people and one of them must die. But one of them can save lives later down the road, whereas the other cannot.

Wouldn’t it make sense to choose the one who can save others? Exchange one death for another, since both cannot be saved.

If she can do this, if she can pull this off, then maybe the world won’t go to shit.

—

Right now, Leanne is approximately twenty seven years old and also exactly five years, three months, and eight days old.

Her older self is in Cadmium City, trying not to pass out as she helps Doctor Kaiza stitch her student’s organs back inside of his body, while her younger self is enjoying a relaxing breakfast with her grandparents in the town of Belleview.

Lucky brat.

“Oh god, I’m gonna hurl,” she groans–her older self, that is–behind the paper and elastic mask, trying not to move her gloved hands even though all of Brian’s blood has made everything very slippery.

“You better not, this is a sterile environment and I won’t have you ruining my surgery,” Kaiza scolds without looking up, a trail of neat black stitches following after her needle.

Leanne scowls, she wasn’t really going to, it’s an exaggeration, but she lets the matter drop. Instead, she aims a question at Brian, “Doesn’t this hurt? She didn’t use any anesthesia.”

He smiles, pale and shaky with bloodloss but amused nonetheless, “I have a high pain tolerance.”

—

In the eyes of society, the best thing for a metahuman vigilante to do is to have many children, raise them with strong moral values, and go around sacrificing their lives for the betterment of everyone else around them.

The second best thing is to die a martyr.

The superhero Griever never got the chance to do the former because he eventually ended up doing the latter before he ever got married.

But Leanne has never been a very good metahuman, much less a good metahuman vigilante, and in this instance she’s not going to let Brian be either.

—

Whenever she is shunted through time, the first thing she does is try to find a safe place. Whether the the trip is an hour or a month, it doesn’t hurt to have some kind of home base to work from and wait out her stupid pocket watch’s erratic decisions.

Of course, her stupid pocket watch is also very sadistic and likes to make such a notion as difficult as possible.

This time she lands in the middle of a battle that would be almost nostalgic were it not, well, a battle. It’s not her team, nor a villain she’s used to, but she lends her efforts in destroying the robots trying to stab the slower lingering civilians. She doesn’t scream when a massive wolf jumps over her and rips the head off of one such machine, wires still sparking at the end, nor does she quake when a seemingly ordinary young man punches his fist clean through two inches of steel.

No, it’s only after the fight–once the villain has been apprehended and the mass self destruct order activated–that she flinches: when the third member of this familiar-yet-not team lays a hand on a bleeding arm wound, and pulls away to reveal unbroken skin instead.

Alvin Chand she recognizes, both in his wolf form and his human form, though the version she met had more scars and gray hairs. Curtis Ives looks similar enough to his son–or perhaps its the other way around–that she isn’t at all surprised.

But this third man, the one who introduces himself as Brian Odell? Oh, she’s met him before, too.

When she was just a child, crying in a grocery store, and one of the stock boys helped her find her grandfather.

Not as one of the members of her vigilante team’s predecessor.

Who are you, she thinks, as Doctor Kaiza–almost annoyingly familiar to her–herds the team into the clinic. Why have I never heard of you before, she wonders.

—

Here’s the problem: as far as she knows, she can’t actually change anything.

Oh little things, sure, the kind of minor tweaks and rewrites that changes a punch to the cheek into a dodge and counterattack. The only reason why she was chosen for the team as a teenager in the first place–the only ability her pocket watch had at the time, or seemed to have, anyway. But she’s never been able to change anything major before.

That’s not going to stop her from trying.

~

A/N: It’s not like I actually did anything strenuous today but for some reason I am very tired. So here’s this Counterclockwise installment featuring Leanne (re)meeting Brian Odell. Read about their first meeting here.

Can I ask for Haku/Shikako? With Zabuza and Kakashi chaperoning or spying really obviously?

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Anon, I’d be lying if I said this prompt didn’t send me into a giggle fit at the idea of Zabuza and Kakashi being begrudgingly competitive chaperones for their students’ date.

Not sure exactly how I’ll go about actually writing it, but I’ll do my best! Thanks for the prompt 😄

Light It Up (Burn It Down) 3/?, (2016-04-30)

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Ben is dreading the next communication from the mirror so much that when it finally happens he is completely taken aback by the question’s tone:

“Have you ever met a dragon?” The paint on stone asks, almost innocently.

Almost.

Ben hesitates, “No,” he says, hoping this doesn’t turn into some other disheartening quest for a disheartening truth. Or worse, an automatic failure–yet another blue petal falling off the rose.

The letters change:

“Ask them what they love the most,” it demands, bizarrely, and refuses to clarify when Ben asks the mirror to do so.

How is supposed to ask a creature he’s never met a question which, even to him, seems awfully personal?

But, well, he supposes it could be worse. All he has to do is find a dragon, befriend it, and ask them a question–how hard could that be?

Here’s hoping he hasn’t jinxed himself.

—

Actually, surprisingly, it’s rather easy; the first step anyway. While there are no dragons in Auradon–for obvious reasons beyond the dwindling of magic in the world–Ben at least paid attention enough to know that dragons have very different reputations in other kingdoms. And although Ben wasn’t close friends with her, he was friendly enough with Lonnie in school that he doesn’t need an official appointment with the Chinese ambassador in order meet up for lunch.

“You want to meet Mushu?” Lonnie asks, incredulous laughter in her voice, an additional pleasure on top of her amusement at the flock of paparazzi trying to get a good shot of their table.

He hopes the tabloids won’t print something about an engagement–his public relations team still has to put down the occasional story about his and Audrey’s supposed on again off again romance, or his secret unrequited love for Princess Melody, or even random people claiming to be pregnant with his child.

“Yes?” Ben asks in response, because he doesn’t know why that would be funny.

“Really?” she says, starting to become honestly confused, and this is getting ridiculous. It’s not like they’re playing Questions. Why doesn’t she think he’s serious?

“Sorry,” she says sheepishly, “It’s just that given Auradon’s… thing… about dragons, I figured…” she ends with a shrug.

During political negotiations, she is a far more eloquent speaker, but right now she is not the ambassador of China. She is the woman who was his chemistry lab partner in high school. The girl who he once ate an entire batch of cookies with in the middle of the night because she was feeling homesick and and he realized he’d never know what that was like. The girl who offered to punch Audrey on his behalf when he found out she was cheating on him with Chad Charming in senior year and didn’t know what to do–he declined the offer, but he did go to prom with her that year as friends and she spent the entire time talking about her little cousins while he confessed that he was afraid he was going to end up being a terrible king.

He doesn’t quite know how to explain to her that him meeting Mushu will help him not be a terrible king.

“Please,” he says, because being reminded of yet another one of his kingdom’s failings–and how far off is a cultural fear of dragons from being bigotry against a sentient species?–has keenly reminded him of why they are having this lunch in the first place.

“Well, I suppose don’t see why not,” Lonnie says with an entirely different sort of shrug, “We can go after this,” she adds, before resuming to eat her meal.

Ben pauses, confused, “Go… to China?”

She looks up at him, brow raised, incredulously amused again, “No… go to the embassy,” you idiot, she doesn’t say, “Now let me enjoy this very expensive steak you are paying for.”

Costly, yes, but still–surprisingly easy.

—

Ben has been to the Chinese embassy before, but always in his official capacity as king of Auradon and mostly for various galas where the name of the game was Dont Start A War And Don’t Get Engaged. Somehow he’s more nervous now, following after Lonnie as she leads him to a dragon.

It’s not fear–while he’s not completely free of cultural bias against dragons–he at least knows that this particular dragon isn’t going to try to kill him. He really doesn’t want to mess this up, for a lot of reasons, really. Lonnie is his doing him a favor, letting him meet Mushu, and he doesn’t want to offend either of them by saying something awful. And there is the whole matter of this being another one of the magic mirror’s strange quests–none of which he’s managed to answer or solve correctly. Yet.

“Mushu!” Lonnie calls out, after directing Ben to take a seat in one of the conference rooms and waving one of the embassy staff for some refreshments. Apparently the dragon has free reign of the embassy–at least when galas aren’t being hosted–because Lonnie just takes a seat as well and waits for him to arrive.

Ben hears Mushu before he sees him, a light staccato of claws against the floor, and a beleaguered voice from about ankle high complaining, “Xiao Lon! Girl, I know you did not just raise your voice as if that would summon me like that old cow!” And then a darting stripe of red winds it’s way up the table leg to stand in front of Lonnie.

“It worked, didn’t it?” she says, flippant, but brushing a finger down his back apologetically, nonetheless.

“Hmph, I am unappreciated around here,” he says, still beleaguered, but allowing her petting. Until the dragon sets eyes on Ben, “Now who’s this? You didn’t say anything about company. I would have put on a little show–a little smoke, a little fire. Some pizazz! Instant crowd pleaser,” he says, his claws tap tap tapping against the wood of the table as he makes his way towards Ben. He tries not to tense up too much, because no matter how small or friendly Mushu may be, he is still a fire breathing creature with claws and fangs.

Then again, for a good chunk of his life, Ben’s father was also a creature with claws and fangs–and while he couldn’t literally breathe fire, he was neither small or friendly.

“I’m Ben, Lonnie and I went to school together,” Ben introduces himself, because right now that’s who he is and his title doesn’t matter.

“Oh, oh I see,” Mushu says slyly, massive grin showing off his relatively massive teeth, “Someone’s trying to get my blessings. I don’t know, Xiao Lon, this one doesn’t look like he can take on Cri-Kee much less an entire army of Huns. But I guess, since you’re asking, unlike Xiao Lon’s dad who just went off and proposed and wouldn’t even let me plan her wedding…”

“No! Mushu, that’s not what he’s here for,” Lonnie says, embarrassed, because it’s one thing for tabloids to speculate about possible engagements, it’s an entirely different thing for family to do so.

Huh. Family.

Ben’s pretty sure he knows the answer to the question he came here to ask. But he still asks anyway.

Mushu looks at him, the expression of incredulous amusement on his reptilian face somehow the same as Lonnie’s, “What do I love the most? Boy, that is the strangest ice breaker I have ever heard. And, frankly, stupid. The answer’s obvious, even a cross eyed, blind folded, dumb hat wearing bureaucrat can see it,” the dragon says, dashing over to Lonnie to give her a hug, “I love baby girl and baby girl’s baby girl the most.”

—

He goes back to the castle after an additional three hours of talking to Lonnie and Mushu and heads straight for the magic mirror. The same sentence is there, not a question but a demand… or maybe a suggestion.

He tells the mirror about his day, about his meeting with dragons who love each other because that’s what family does. He’s not sure if he succeeded but he’s grateful for the experience regardless, so when the image changes from paint and stone to glowing rose he’s calm.

But instead of a petal falling, marking another failure, something strange happens: a pair of hands, one of them holding a knife, reaches into the frame and carefully cuts off a thorn.

~

A/N: Whoaaaaa, I bet you thought I forgot about this. Well guess what? I didn’t! I just hella procrastinated. 😛

Anyway, most of my Lonnie / Xiao Lon feels can be found here, but basically: I headcanon that Lonnie’s real name is Xiao Lon aka Little Dragon and the westernization would just to make Lon cutesy. Hence Lonnie.

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

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jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

—

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!

Quest for the Queen, 2/6 (2016-04-29)

(two: resolution)

After the memorial, Naruto goes to the training grounds. He doesn’t want to get in the way at the hospital, even though part of him really wants to see Shikako because maybe in the past three hours since he’s last checked they’ve somehow figured out a way to heal her.

Hell, he wouldn’t mind at least being able to talk to Sasuke for five minutes because that way they can be miserable together. But no, both of his teammates are cordoned off to special areas of the hospital that he can’t get to.

He’s not entirely sure why he’s come here, though. It’s not like training is any fun without either of them, and it’s not like he can do much by himself. Maybe he can spar against some of his clones but that seems kind of lonely. And inevitably he’ll summon clones to fight his clones and then he gets confused as to which clones he originally created in the first place.

He would go to Ichiraku’s except he doesn’t feel hungry, not even for ramen. And going by himself, knowing both of his teammates are in the hospital, doesn’t sound appealing at all. So really all Naruto can do is sit on the bridge and stare morosely at the little creek flowing underneath it, trying very hard not to be reminded of that swing hanging just outside the Academy.

Which is how the pervy sage finds him, still in his funeral blacks, kicking his feet back and forth as if that’ll solve anything at all.

“There you are, you brat,” pervy sage says, as if Naruto was late for a planned meeting which, no way, he’s not Kaka-sensei.

“What do you want?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious, because, sure, last time he hung out with the Jiraiya he did end up summoning a really huge toad but that’s only because the old pervert pushed him off a cliff and he ended up nearly sleeping through the finals so…

“Time to go,” he says, instead of answering Naruto’s question, “why haven’t you changed already? You can’t go on a mission like that.”

“I’m not going on a mission!”

“Not dressed like that, you aren’t,” Jiraiya says completely sidestepping Naruto’s protests, “and with no mission gear? Okay, tell you what, brat, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get ready before we go. Now shoo,”

“I can’t leave,” Naruto says instead of quietly obeying because when has he ever done that?

“Why not?” Jiraiya asks, finally seeming to hear him.

“Because!” he shouts, to give himself time to think, “We just got invaded! The village is going to need all the help it can get to clean up and I’m not going to just leave on some stupid mission with some old pervert! You’ll probably spend the entire time looking at ladies in the baths!”

Naruto hasn’t really known Jiraiya long, but even a few conversations is enough to know that such a statement should at least get the pervert leering stupidly at even the thought of naked ladies. Instead his expression seems to darken, turning stony and solemn and nearly angry.

Naruto’s not afraid, but he is suddenly wary now: this is not the perverted old man who can be tricked with some clones and a henge, this is an S-rank shinobi.

But maybe he is a little bit afraid, enough to show on his face, because Jiraiya seems to soften. Only a little, though.

“I’d have thought you’d want to help your teammate in the hospital,” he begins, musingly. “But if you don’t want to take this mission to find the best healer in the Elemental Nations and heal your friend, well. But if you’d rather sort through rubble then…”

Naruto stares, too surprised and full of hope to speak.

“I thought so,” The pervy sage smirks, victorious, “You’re down to twenty minutes now. I’ll see you at the main gate.”

Naruto has never packed faster in his life.

~

A/N: Paaaaart twoooooo…

Naruto is probably the most difficult for me to write but Jiraiya’s definitely in the top five as well so…

Untitled (2016-04-27)

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It’s not as if he’s never left the temple before–sometimes the older worshippers will ask for help carrying things, and he’s old enough to run quick errands by himself–but now stepping outside feels different. An entirely new experience because of the context.

He is leaving the temple and he will not be coming back tonight or tomorrow, not even next week. He may not ever return.

It’s a thought both thrilling and frightening, making him look back at the temple even as Consalvo and Melvina lead him away. The stained glass window sparkles in the afternoon sun, as if greeting him farewell. And even the grey stone walls seem warmer and brighter, the temple putting on it’s best face before he goes.

He smiles back at it, even if that seems silly.

“Excited?” Consalvo asks, noticing his smile and matching it with a grin of his own.

If anything, that makes him even giddier, and he can’t help the laugh that escapes him, “Yes,” he says because it’s true.

He has no idea what his future may be, and he’s eager to find out.

—

Their first stop isn’t a foreign one to him–while the town does have a port and one of the kingdom’s four main temples, it is rather small. There is only one haberdashery in town and the worshippers have to get their uniforms from somewhere.

Gilian the seamstress spots him first, somehow through a cloud of petticoats that will no doubt be part of the mayor’s next gown.

“Aljun!” she greets, pulling pins from her mouth and climbing her way from under what will eventually be a truly massive skirt, “I just saw you two weeks ago! Have you gone through another growth spurt already?” She asks, partially teasing, partially serious, eyeing the hems of his uniform with a sharp eye.

“Not quite,” Melvina says, catching Gilian’s attention.

The seamstress startles and blushes, embarrassed at having been caught of guard, before composing herself, “Oh? How can I help you today?”

“Aljun here will be needing some new clothes,” is all the warning he gets before Melvina’s hands clamp down on both of his shoulders and guide him towards the fitting area of the shop. “In hardier fabric than the uniform, if you can. Different styles, of course,” she adds, as Gilian crowds in close with excitement.

“I’ve always wanted to dress this boy up in something besides the worshipper uniform,” Gilian confesses, before smoothing a hand over his head as if he were several years younger, “No offense meant, Aljun, it’s just that the uniform gets boring after a while. I’ve always wondered what you’d look like in something else.”

“And color!” Consalvo says, poking his head out from the shelves of fabric samples and, indeed, holding a swatch of bright purple.

Betrayed and bemused, Aljun resigns himself to being a mannequin for the rest of the afternoon.

~

A/N: I really thought I’d get to the ship already… oh well. Here’s a random makeover scene nobody wanted

Related to these two ficlets… gotta think of a name for this series…

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

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jacksgreysays:

(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

—

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!