N15: Nowhere and Nothing
Her nightmares, on the rare occasions she does have them, are usually on opposite ends of the spectrum. Sometimes, they’re over-saturated with brightness and colors, flurries of movements and motions. As if all of her adventures with Mickey were sped up and enhanced within the space of one dream. In contrast, there are the nightmares that are just… nothing. An empty void where time has slowed to a crawl, no sights or sounds or warmth. Just darkness.
She wakes up gasping, skin clammy and eyes wet with unshed tears. She knows that it’s PTSD, knows that they’re just memories and remnants of justified fear–she was never in the darkness, had never lost her heart, but still the possibility hung heavy over her mind–but if she has learned nothing else, it’s that the heart and mind are powerful things.
She doesn’t tell anyone. Or rather, had never tried to again, after her parents gently, but mistakenly, dismissed her stories as an overactive imagination. And so it remains a secret.
At least, it does for fifteen years.
Her childhood and adolescence were always distinct in her mind. Childhood was saving the world and magic and adventure. It was traveling to other worlds and being a hero and knowing that she could make a difference. Her teenage years featured awkwardness and puberty and secrets. They were spent trying to navigate high school with a body that wouldn’t cooperate and a heart that had once fought for survival.
And yet, from an outsider point of view, one would think that it was a little backward. As a child, she had been shy and quiet, with a tendency to entertain herself than befriend others. But as a teenager, she was outgoing and gregarious, eager to interact with her community.
None of this is a lie, nor is it at all incompatible. Separate though they may be, her childhood and adolescence combined helps prepare her for adulthood.
A/N: Blargh, these ones are kind of… blargh. I’m reluctant to post it, but I’m already passed midnight here so 😛
In the same series as this.