“I have to go water my cat” Karachi I don’t think that’S a good idea also you don’t even have a cat, can you imagine the chaos that would create with ur nindogs D:


lol So I’m currently discussing cat!Tobirama with a lovely enabler and this kind of slammed into that in my mind and – 

Kakashi being adopted by picking up a stray cat that’s actually Tobirama. He managed to survive the war diversion by inventing a shapeshifting jutsu but then couldn’t undo it and apparently the nine lives thing is more literal than he had thought?? But just – Kakashi trying to deal with this super-prissy and unimpressed miniature snow leopard while all his dogs are NOT HAVING IT and Tobirama just wants thumbs again, you morons, why is no one noticing that he is not a regular cat??

(Spoiler: because, Tobirama dear, you are actually a giant cat, no matter which form you’re in, and no one can tell the difference.)

Curiosity Kills (Satisfaction Guaranteed), 1/? (2016-08-08)


If it had been only five shinobi, he would’ve won by now.

(If it had been only five shinobi, he wouldn’t have sent his own team away.)

Maybe, if it had been ten shinobi, he could’ve defeated them.

He’s the Hokage. While he may not ever be as strong as his brother–may the self-sacrificing idiot never rest in peace for leaving him to run the village–he’s still a pretty damn strong shinobi in his own right.

If it had been ten, it might have been fine.

But the Kinkaku Force has come for him in its entirety, and while each individual member (for the most part) is hardly on par with Tobirama, as a whole he is outnumbered and thus outmatched.

But he’s not fighting to win. He’s fighting to stall.

(Maybe the self-sacrificing thing is a family trait.)

A fraction of his attention is on his team’s chakra signatures–risky, in a fight so unbalanced as this one, but not a decision he’ll regret–and that part of him is relieved when they slip out of his range, even as he’s busy dodging three different jutsu and sends two counterattacks of his own.

If he can’t sense them, then that means they’re far enough away that the Kinkaku Force can’t catch them.

Which means he can end this fight.

Against twenty, there’s no way he can win. Especially not now, when he’s already spent so much time and chakra stalling instead of truly fighting.

But that doesn’t mean he’s just going to give up and die. Ending a fight doesn’t always mean winning or losing.

(He always has one more trick up his sleeve.)

It’s experimental, but almost all of his jutsu started off experimental, and what better time to test it when it may very well be his last moments of life?

Doubutsurei no Jutsu


He wakes up and for a handful of seconds doesn’t remember a thing.

It’d almost be panic-inducing, except he’s Tobirama Senju and panicking has never been his preferred method of coping.

As it is, waking up gives him enough to deduce several things:

He’s still alive. Which means not only did his new jutsu not kill him but also, in his blacked out state, neither did the Cloud nin.

Given waking up requires unconsciousness to be woken up from, using this jutsu leaves him vulnerable for who knows how long which isn’t exactly ideal in the midst of battle.

He can probably improve this jutsu through practice and training in a more controlled environment, as in, not now while still potentially surrounded by twenty (thirteen, at this point, actually) enemy shinobi.

And that’s as far as he gets before the warrior part of him shoves aside the philosopher and reminds him that, hey, thirteen angry enemy shinobi are actually a lot more important than the results of his experimental jutsu. Which might actually not have done anything, anyway, since the chakra smoke clears and there’s no giant guardian spirit animal to protect him as planned. Also, his whole body hurts far more than the injuries inflicted on him would explain.

“What the fuck is this?” One of the shinobi says–one of the captains if Tobirama interpreted the team’s interactions correctly. Twenty members total, with four squads of five headed by their own captain.

A different captain, the one with the annoyingly accurate lightning techniques, asks, “Where the hell did that white-haired piece of shit go?”

Tobirama is starting to feel confused–something he hates with a passion–because he’s obviously right here and it’s not as if he’s invisible, but he figures discretion is the better part of valor. He stays silent (not that it’s much of a hardship).

“Spread out and find him!” roars Kinkaku himself who, unsurprisingly, is the ultimate leader of the Kinkaku Force–Cloud nin have no sense of subtlety whatsoever.

Three of the squads–or the remains of them, anyway–immediately split away to find him even though he is right here, what the hell is happening?

“And get rid of this damn cat of his,” Kinkaku adds to the remainder of his subordinates, and one of them moves toward him with a wickedly curved sword before Tobirama can even move his limbs which feel strained and achey and awkward and–


He wakes up again and definitely remembers everything.

He’s still confused as fuck.


A/N: I hope you don’t mind I take a crack at this as well, @blackkatmagic! You’ve given me so many Tobirama feels that I kinda just… please, accept this humble offering.

Hopefully I’ll get to the rest of it soon, but that seemed like a good place to stop and also it’s past two in the morning for me and I have work later so… enjoy?