Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

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(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!

Quest for the Queen, 2/6 (2016-04-29)

(two: resolution)

After the memorial, Naruto goes to the training grounds. He doesn’t want to get in the way at the hospital, even though part of him really wants to see Shikako because maybe in the past three hours since he’s last checked they’ve somehow figured out a way to heal her.

Hell, he wouldn’t mind at least being able to talk to Sasuke for five minutes because that way they can be miserable together. But no, both of his teammates are cordoned off to special areas of the hospital that he can’t get to.

He’s not entirely sure why he’s come here, though. It’s not like training is any fun without either of them, and it’s not like he can do much by himself. Maybe he can spar against some of his clones but that seems kind of lonely. And inevitably he’ll summon clones to fight his clones and then he gets confused as to which clones he originally created in the first place.

He would go to Ichiraku’s except he doesn’t feel hungry, not even for ramen. And going by himself, knowing both of his teammates are in the hospital, doesn’t sound appealing at all. So really all Naruto can do is sit on the bridge and stare morosely at the little creek flowing underneath it, trying very hard not to be reminded of that swing hanging just outside the Academy.

Which is how the pervy sage finds him, still in his funeral blacks, kicking his feet back and forth as if that’ll solve anything at all.

“There you are, you brat,” pervy sage says, as if Naruto was late for a planned meeting which, no way, he’s not Kaka-sensei.

“What do you want?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious, because, sure, last time he hung out with the Jiraiya he did end up summoning a really huge toad but that’s only because the old pervert pushed him off a cliff and he ended up nearly sleeping through the finals so…

“Time to go,” he says, instead of answering Naruto’s question, “why haven’t you changed already? You can’t go on a mission like that.”

“I’m not going on a mission!”

“Not dressed like that, you aren’t,” Jiraiya says completely sidestepping Naruto’s protests, “and with no mission gear? Okay, tell you what, brat, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get ready before we go. Now shoo,”

“I can’t leave,” Naruto says instead of quietly obeying because when has he ever done that?

“Why not?” Jiraiya asks, finally seeming to hear him.

“Because!” he shouts, to give himself time to think, “We just got invaded! The village is going to need all the help it can get to clean up and I’m not going to just leave on some stupid mission with some old pervert! You’ll probably spend the entire time looking at ladies in the baths!”

Naruto hasn’t really known Jiraiya long, but even a few conversations is enough to know that such a statement should at least get the pervert leering stupidly at even the thought of naked ladies. Instead his expression seems to darken, turning stony and solemn and nearly angry.

Naruto’s not afraid, but he is suddenly wary now: this is not the perverted old man who can be tricked with some clones and a henge, this is an S-rank shinobi.

But maybe he is a little bit afraid, enough to show on his face, because Jiraiya seems to soften. Only a little, though.

“I’d have thought you’d want to help your teammate in the hospital,” he begins, musingly. “But if you don’t want to take this mission to find the best healer in the Elemental Nations and heal your friend, well. But if you’d rather sort through rubble then…”

Naruto stares, too surprised and full of hope to speak.

“I thought so,” The pervy sage smirks, victorious, “You’re down to twenty minutes now. I’ll see you at the main gate.”

Naruto has never packed faster in his life.

~

A/N: Paaaaart twoooooo…

Naruto is probably the most difficult for me to write but Jiraiya’s definitely in the top five as well so…

Quest for the Queen, 3/6 (2016-05-10)

(three: confrontation)

For the first few days, Naruto stays quiet. Or, well, quiet for him. He asks the perverted sage all sorts of questions and makes comments on the things they see, the places they go, and the people they meet. On more than one occasion, Jiraiya has told him to shut up, and Naruto tries as best as he can–which means in less than an hour he’ll forget himself and remark on something. But he doesn’t complain.

How can he? He and Jiraiya are going to find an amazing healer to heal Shikako and then everything will be alright! There’s no way he’s gonna complain–not even if, for the most part, the perverted sage makes him stay at the inn because “Like hell I’m going to bring a twelve year old into a brothel.”

Which, gets steadily more and more annoying. Naruto kind of figured a good chunk of their trip would involve the old man being perverted, but they’re wasting time!

It’s on day four that Naruto explodes, just as Jiraiya says he’s going to go to a bar.

“It’s still morning!” Naruto shouts because there’s annoying and then there’s horrible, “You’ve been going in and out of bars and brothels for the past four days and we’re nowhere near closer to this lady!”

Jiraiya’s hand smacks over Naruto’s face, in an attempt to prevent him from yelling more, “Quiet down brat,” he hisses, but Naruto has already squirmed out of his hold.

“I could just make a thousand clones and I’ll find that lady in no time!” Naruto suggests, because if he’s going to be honest this isn’t so much about the perverted sage being a pervert or a drunkard as much as it is about himself. Naruto hasn’t been doing anything productive and he’s feeling antsy.

“And give up the fact that someone’s after her?” Jiraiya scoffs, slapping him upside the head, “Thank, brat. She’ll go to ground in seconds and we’ll never track her down. She’s cured a lot of very influential people, some who wouldn’t mind exchanging sanctuary for a live-in miracle healer. My contacts will help us figure out where she is, but they’re not going to be any help if you’ve made it obvious we’re searching for her.”

Oh. Well… he guesses he never thought about it like that. Shikako would have. She would have caught on way in the beginning instead of spending four days not knowing what was going on. And she would have explained it to him, too, so that he’d understand.

But if she were here, then they wouldn’t even be on this mission to find this healer lady.

“Then what do I do?” Naruto asks, because while it might make sense for the pervert sage to go to bars and brothels, he can’t exactly do the same thing.

Jiraiya hums musingly, glancing thoughtfully at the sky as if in deep thought, dramatically snapping his fingers. “I’m going to teach you a powerful jutsu,” he says, before stretching out his hand. In the center of his palm a swirling ball of chakra appears. He smirks and leans in, as if he’s telling a secret:

“It’s called the Rasengan.”

He’ll admit it: he did get distracted by the Rasengan. It is undeniably a cool and powerful jutsu–even if it’s being taught to him by a super pervert (then again, all of his teachers have been perverts of some degree or another)–but still, he should have been more focused on what the mission is even for.

So what if he can pop a water balloon and a rubber ball with chakra? That’s not going to help Shikako!

After a week of training they’ve passed through different towns, but they may as well all be the same because Jiraiya knows where all the bars and bathhouses and brothels are and that’s where he spends his time. Their time. The time they should be using to actually find this healer lady and bring her back to Konoha!

“If this were your teammate you wouldn’t be wasting time like this!” Naruto shouts, finally fed up and impatient, because Shikako has been in the hospital for weeks and what if–what if he never sees her again? what if, before they get back, her condition turns worse? what if it’s all his fault because he didn’t come back in time?

Jiraiya’s irritation swiftly slides into anger: a chilling, stony thing.

“Which teammate are you talking about?” He asks so coldly, “The one that hasn’t been to Konoha in decades, who has run around the Land of Fire doing whatever she wants and ignoring the consequences? Or the one that tried to invade Konoha, and killed our sensei? The one that your teammate killed.”

Naruto gulps, the killing intent a pressure against his spine, behind his eyes. He can’t speak.

“Maybe I should let your teammate die,” he ponders, still so dark and cold, “What’s one more person after everyone who died in the invasion? She went up against an S-rank shinobi, after all, genin don’t survive those kinds of odds.” He finishes pointedly, a not so subtle comparison between the situation now: Jiraiya, an S-rank, and Naruto, a mere genin.

Instead, of being scared of the threat, though, Naruto gets angry: “If you do that, you’re no better than that snake freak. Shikako’s a hero! Ranks didn’t matter to her and they don’t matter to me, either! I’m going to find this healer lady with or without your help!” And because it’s been on his mind lately, he tries to create a Rasengan–except he hasn’t gone on to the last step.

His chakra swirls, smooth and strong, but he doesn’t have control yet. It dissipates in a matter of moments.

Jiraiya snorts derisively, “And how are you going to do that? You haven’t even mastered the Rasengan yet?” In a swift movement, he goes around Naruto and pushes him to the ground, an imperious sandal keeping him there, “You can’t even protect yourself, much less your friend.”

Even though Jiraiya’s tone has gentled, his words hit the mark.

“I know!” Naruto shouts into the dirt, near sobbing with frustration, “I know I’m too weak, I know I can’t protect myself yet. But I can’t just do nothing!” The pressure on his back releases, and Naruto scrambles to his feet, scrubbing furiously at his cheeks, “I don’t care who I have to fight or what I have to do. I’m going to get stronger and I’m not going to let that happen to her again!”

Jiraiya sighs, looking skyward before meeting Naruto’s eyes. “Save me from genin with no self preservation,” he says, exasperated, but no longer a emitting a cloud of killing intent.

They stand in silence; Naruto’s breath heaving, Jiraiya assessing, before he turns around and leads the way, “I’ve heard news that Tsunade might be in this town, so keep your tantrums to yourself.”

“They’re not–!”

“But it’s good, that you’re so loyal to your friend,” he continues, not even looking back at Naruto, “She’ll need that when she wakes up.”

It’s not until they find and talk to Tsunade, does Naruto understand what he meant.

~

A/N: this is a really good spot to end this part but it’s a little early according to what i planned out so…

okay so I’m still pretty sure it’s only going to be six parts but I may have to… shift some things around from my original outline…

also! since this is an AU in which the whole Tsukuyomi debacle has been sidestepped because of ~reasons~ Jiraiya gets to have the “genin with no self preservation” conversation with Naruto instead of Shikako. Although he probably also has that conversation with her… or someone does. Trying to take on an S-rank missing nin? That’s silly, Shikako.

Quest for the Queen, 4/6 (2016-05-18)

(four: crisis)

Given the sheer number of casinos in this city, it’d be foolish to try and physically search each of them for one person. Not to mention, a person who doesn’t want to be found.

That being said, apparently the pervert sage is actually good at his job because he asks about the healer lady in a very round about way which shouldn’t give off any prior warning. Or, at least, that’s what he says he’s doing and Naruto’s trying not to doubt him as much as before. But it’s kind of difficult when all Jiraiya says is, “I heard the Legendary Sucker was in town.”

Which doesn’t sound like the kind of description he’d want for an amazing healer lady that can cure Shikako, but what does Naruto know?

The bartender, who hadn’t so much raised an eyebrow at Naruto despite him being almost a decade younger than the legal drinking age, nodded solemnly, “I’ve had a couple of customers celebrating big wins. Got a lot of tips,” she adds, then pointedly holds her hand out.

Grumbling, Jiraiya slides a couple of ryo across the bar, pettily refusing to put it in her hand.

Regardless, money is money, and the bartender accepts it with aplomb, “She’s been doing different casinos everyday–probably because she keeps reneging on payment. But none of them have sent debt collectors after her yet–she healed the mayor’s son so she still has some political capital left even if it’s not, you know, actual capital.”

That sounds like… good news, maybe?

“How many days has she been here for?” Jiraiya asks, because if they’re working on a deadline made of some kind of inverse relationship between monetary debt and political good graces then she might not be here for much longer.

“A week,” the bartender says, “There’s only one casino she hasn’t been to yet.”

Tsunade stares at the table in shock as the dealer, also surprised but a consummate professional, pushes the pile of poker chips towards her.

The other players around the table look at each other and mutter distrustfully about bad information, annoyance etched on their faces.

Until it turns into confusion.

“Gods damnit,” the Legendary Sucker growls, before standing up and stomping away, leaving her winnings behind.

Even forewarning gambling victories aren’t enough to help her escape from Jiraiya and the shrimpy brat trailing after him, which is highly unfortunate. So on par with her usual luck, then.

“Jiraiya,” she says flatly, because she can’t exactly go punching him in the face unprovoked.

“Tsunade-hime,” he says with a wide grin, “Let’s go get something to eat.”

She’d like to reject him out of hand, partially because that sounds suspiciously like a date even with their respective kids in tow but mostly because she heard about what happened in Konoha, what happened to Sensei.

She’s pretty sure she knows what he’s here for.

As it turns out, she’s wrong.

The healer lady comes with them to a restaurant and brings another lady, too, one who’s carrying a pig which seems like a weird thing especially when they’re ordering food and they get barbecue, but Naruto’s seen weirder and contents himself with the food instead. He’s starving!

“Sensei is dead,” pervert sage says, and Naruto tries to swallow his food down around the lump in his throat.

“I heard,” healer lady says, all cool and uncaring like Sasuke at his worst.

“Orochimaru, too,” pervert sage adds, which actually gets a reaction out of healer lady. Which is annoying and which he’d normally protest, but after his talk with Jiraiya about teammates he thinks maybe he kind of understands so he keeps quiet.

She looks away, a poor attempt to hide her face which somehow looks both angry and sad at the same time.

“Konoha needs you to come back,” pervert sage says, after allowing her a moment of silence.

And now it’s just anger, “I’m not going back just to be the next sacrifice wearing the hat!”

The other customers of the restaurant look their way curiously, before Jiraiya forms a seal with one hand and they all go back to their own meals.

Then he looks back at her, smirk on his face, “The council doesn’t want you to be the next Hokage.”

“What?” Tsunade says, sounding confused and almost offended.

Naruto is glad, because now they can finally get to the point!

Except instead pervert sage says, “You remember what Sensei told us when we went on our first mission out of the village? About the laws of succession–just in case things went south.”

She stares at him, “… Who? How could someone… It’s not you is it?” she says, almost accusingly.

And now Naruto is really confused.

Pervert sage snorts, “No, it’s not me. It’s Shikaku Nara’s brat, the girl one.”

Naruto bristles at the insult, but before he can yell at Jiraiya, the man adds almost formally:

“The Godaime Hokage is in critical condition–if you don’t come back and heal her, she won’t live to see her coronation.”

~

A/N: … do they have poker in the Naruto world? Well they do in DoS so that’s canon enough for me…

Okay so it’s a little late and that’s entirely my fault because it’s not like I was busy (except for catching up on my fanfic reading) and i probably should have done a quick mash of something before midnight but i didn’t want to distract myself from this installment of Quest for the Queen because I WANT THIS TO BE FINISHED SOOO BADLY ALREADY SO I CAN GO ON TO OTHER THINGS.

Also, weird POV switching halfway through the fic! I dunno? It’s still Naruto’s story but it didn’t want to flow from his POV so I just… didn’t for that part. Also… suuper need to shift around some things in my outline…

Quest for the Queen, 5/6 (2016-05-22)

(five: incentive)

There’s a moment of silence: Pervert sage, serious. Healer lady, shocked. Healer lady’s student, also shocked. Healer lady’s student’s pig, probably whatever pigs normally feel.

Naruto, definitely confused.

Until healer lady throws her head back and laughs, a loud, whole-bodied thing, which would normally make him smile, too, because he likes it when people laugh. But not in this case:

Naruto gets angry.

And it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t really understand what’s going on. All he knows is that Jiraiya mentioned Shikako, about how she might die before the next Hokage’s coronation, and all of a sudden this healer lady is laughing?

“It’s not funny!” Naruto shouts, “She’s seriously hurt!” he continues, raising his voice just to be heard over the lady’s laughter, and he doesn’t care if she’s some kind of amazing healer or pervert sage’s teammate–and, anyway, considering how evil the last one was, he’s not too surprised that this one’s terrible, too–but he’s not going to let her laugh at Shikako’s life.

“SHUT UP!” he roars, slamming his hands against the table, making it shake and the dishes rattle.

Their table, along with the rest of the restaurant, become silent again.

Tsunade looks at him with narrowed, cool eyes. “You want me to heal your little girlfriend?” she asks, tauntingly,

“You’ll have to pay me ten million ryo.”

Beside her, her student gasps.

Naruto can’t respond, something sticks in his throat. He doesn’t have that much money–he’s pretty sure no one has that much money.

Jiraiya argues, “That’s more than eight times the value of an S-rank.”

“Konoha is the wealthiest shinobi village. They’re good for it,” she responds, “And surely they’d pay anything for their Godaime Hokage to be healed.”

Naruto doesn’t know why they keep jumping between topics like this. Doesn’t understand why they’re suddenly talking about a new Hokage–until Tsunade continues, snidely, face twisted into a cruel smirk:

“Although why bother? That position is clearly cursed. The little Nara won’t last long under the hat–if she even lives to wear it, that is.”

And something inside Naruto’s head, buzzing low beneath his anger and fear, suddenly clicks.

They’re not jumping between topics, talking about two different people at the same time. They’re talking about the same person:

Shikako. The Godaime Hokage.

But… that can’t be right: that’s his dream!

And, sure, Shikako is smart and strong she’s a great shinobi, a good person–but she’s not… She’s not Hokage level!

Naruto has always dreamed of becoming the Hokage, but he’s not deluded like Konohamaru used to be–he’s not anywhere near strong enough to be Hokage yet. And if he’s not then Shikako’s not either!

But…

They wouldn’t talk about the Hokage and Shikako interchangeably unless they actually meant it. And they said something about laws of succession. It… makes sense, maybe: because Shikako killed the snake freak that killed Hokage-jiji. No one else did.

Sure, she wasn’t able to actually save Hokage-jiji but she still tried. And… isn’t that the kind of Hokage that Naruto wants to be? The kind of Hokage that Naruto wants to fight for? Because Shikako is still one of Naruto’s precious people–the first, even–and it doesn’t matter if it’s his dream, she’s still someone that he wants to protect. And maybe that’s not why he started off wanting to become Hokage, but that’s the reason now.

He can still protect his precious people even without being the Hokage; even if he’ll never be the Hokage. Because if he does succeed at protecting his precious people–and he will, that’s more important than being Hokage–then that means Shikako will be Hokage for as long as he protects her.

His thoughts spin around and twist on themselves and it’s confusing and almost gives him a headache, but his heart knows what’s right. It hurts now, having to let go of that old dream, but it’s something that he’s willing to do. Something he’s willing to give up, so long as Shikako ends up healthy and happy and alive.

When Naruto checks back into the conversation, shaking himself out of his tangled thoughts, pervert sage and healer lady are arguing about money of all things! As if Shikako’s life were something to be haggled over like a set of kunai!

Jiraiya is negotiating for a more reasonable price, talking about A-ranks and S-ranks and the council’s budget. About how Konoha needs money to rebuild after the invasion, about how recovery is expensive and a single person can’t be worth almost half an entire village’s finances.

Tsunade, meanwhile, snipes back about how Tsunade is the preeminent leader in the field, how her services are worth far more than a mere A-rank. About since the Hokage is the most important person in the Konoha, surely the village should be willing to do pay her rate.

And back and forth as if Shikako isn’t injured and in pain and possibly dying right this very second!

“This is so–!” He can’t even think of a word that’s explains how awful and petty and unimportant their arguing is, “I’ll bring you back to Konoha myself if I have to!” He points a finger at her, challenging and furious and promising.

“You honestly think you can fight me?” Tsunade says, turning her sharp eyes at him, “I won’t even need more than one finger to beat you.” She jerks her head towards the exit, “Let’s take this outside.”

~

A/N:… okay, this is not where i wanted to end this section but I still only want this series to be six parts so I’m just gonna have to squish the rest of this section into the beginning of the next part. But I think I’m on a roll so I’ll probably be posting that in a few hours, anyway.

Quest for the Queen, 6/6 (2016-05-23)

(six: beginning)

Technically, Tsunade ended up using more than just one finger in their fight. Not that Naruto really appreciated have his face in the dirt with an S-rank’s sandal on his back for the second time in as many days.

But maybe something he said or did changed her mind, because she said if he could master the Rasengan in one week then she’d come back to Konoha and heal Shikako for free. If he couldn’t, then… well… he wasn’t listening by that part, focusing on the task of mastering the Rasengan.

Maybe he couldn’t heal Shikako himself, but this was something he could do, and no way was he going to fail, believe it!

Except then things went… weird. Not that he wasn’t expecting them not to–because even he can recognize that none of his missions turn out normal–but, really weird.

A few days later, Kabuto–the four eyed genin that Shikako had been so suspicious of–showed up. He had talked about bringing Tsunade’s brother and boyfriend back to life. Only if she didn’t heal Shikako. It would be easy, he said, it’s not like Tsunade actually wanted to go back to Konoha anyway. Get rewarded for not doing something, that easy.

Except Tsunade-baachan really is a good person, because she told him no. It wasn’t what either Nawaki or Dan would have wanted, and she would always be a shinobi of the Leaf.

And then Kabuto began screaming about how he’d sneak back into Konoha and kill Shikako himself and no way was Naruto going to let that happen! He used a mastered Rasengan against Kabuto, but apparently the glasses freak had some kind of healing ability to withstand it and there’s no way that guy was a genin–Shikako had been right to be suspicious.

But Tsunade-baachan had been amazing! She had snapped out of her weird shock and beat his ass and it was amazing! Annoyingly, the slimy bastard got away, somehow, but Tsunade-baachan had totally agreed that Naruto mastered the Rasengan which means that she had to fulfill her promise and come back to Konoha to heal Shikako and everything would be okay.

“… She even gave me this cool necklace,” Naruto concludes, showing said necklace to a somewhat irritated Sasuke and a mildly exasperated Kaka-sensei. Even Shikako’s mom, sitting in her allotted visitor’s chair, has a somewhat bemused smile on her face, and Shikamaru has just slapped a hand over his face. Which is weird because it’s not like covering his eyes is going to prevent him from hearing Naruto tell everyone how he totally convinced Tsunade-baachan back to Konoha.

“You’re the worst storyteller,” Sasuke says, shaking his head, “Your written reports must be awful. No wonder the nin running the missions desk hate us.”

“Am not!” Naruto argues back, but he’s not really angry. He’s too happy to be angry. He thinks they all are–too happy to be anything else, that is. Because Tsunade-baachan is back in Konoha and she really is as good a healer as Jiraiya said. Baachan had examined Shikako and said that, while it would be difficult, she could be healed.

It would have to be done in steps–repair her organs and bones before doing muscles and skin–Naruto didn’t really understand because he’s not a medic nin, but he guesses that makes sense: inside first, then outside. But Tsunade-baachan had said it was doable and taken Shikako, along with a team of other medic nin, to the operating room.

Shikako would wake up today: she wouldn’t be completely better, not yet, she’d have scars and everything would be different, because it’s not just Shikako who would wake up today, it’d be the Godaime Hokage and that’s still something that hurts. But it’s fading, even now, because he’s too happy and relieved and grateful.

Shikako’s going to live, and that’s the most important thing.

The coronation for the Godaime Hokage does not happen for several more weeks, because Konoha’s newly instated Chief Medic will not allow her patient to risk her health on some stupid pageantry where all sorts of potential contagions can upset the Godaime’s still fragile immune system.

It gives the village time to recover, too, salvaging what they can and rebuilding what needs to be. Much like its new Hokage, Konoha is sturdy and adaptable–changed, but not lesser for it. And when she is finally deemed healthy enough for the coronation, the villagers are ready and eager.

There’s a crowd around the temporarily built platform–the street full with civilians, the walls and roofs and fire escapes full of shinobi–both groups just as excited to see the Godaime first, the genin who killed an S-rank nukenin.

She is a small figure, nearly swallowed in the traditional red and white robes, the overlarge hat precariously tilting side to side on her head as she speaks. She is a child in adult’s clothing and, normally, such a sight would be ludicrous or silly or even adorable, but not today.

Because for all that the Godaime is not a legendary shinobi–not yet, anyway–nor the strongest or the most experienced, she represents something that Konoha has been needing for a long time:

Hope. Courage. Determination.

The Will of Fire.

~

A/N: … aaaaand that’s it, folks! I know this installment feels a little rushed pacing-wise, but I did want to keep it to six installments and I realized that the meat of this series wasn’t about Tsunade healing Shikako so much as it was about Naruto coming to terms with the both Shikako’s grievous injury and her simultaneous sudden promotion to Hokage…

As @mermbernation suggested, I’ll probably be transferring this to ao3 for easier readingand because… well… it’s finished. Which is not something I can say for a lot of my other recursive DoS fics… I guess I’ll do some ao3 transfers today since with this I technically did my post of the day.

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

jacksgreysays:

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(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!

Quest for the Queen, 2/6 (2016-04-29)

(two: resolution)

After the memorial, Naruto goes to the training grounds. He doesn’t want to get in the way at the hospital, even though part of him really wants to see Shikako because maybe in the past three hours since he’s last checked they’ve somehow figured out a way to heal her.

Hell, he wouldn’t mind at least being able to talk to Sasuke for five minutes because that way they can be miserable together. But no, both of his teammates are cordoned off to special areas of the hospital that he can’t get to.

He’s not entirely sure why he’s come here, though. It’s not like training is any fun without either of them, and it’s not like he can do much by himself. Maybe he can spar against some of his clones but that seems kind of lonely. And inevitably he’ll summon clones to fight his clones and then he gets confused as to which clones he originally created in the first place.

He would go to Ichiraku’s except he doesn’t feel hungry, not even for ramen. And going by himself, knowing both of his teammates are in the hospital, doesn’t sound appealing at all. So really all Naruto can do is sit on the bridge and stare morosely at the little creek flowing underneath it, trying very hard not to be reminded of that swing hanging just outside the Academy.

Which is how the pervy sage finds him, still in his funeral blacks, kicking his feet back and forth as if that’ll solve anything at all.

“There you are, you brat,” pervy sage says, as if Naruto was late for a planned meeting which, no way, he’s not Kaka-sensei.

“What do you want?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious, because, sure, last time he hung out with the Jiraiya he did end up summoning a really huge toad but that’s only because the old pervert pushed him off a cliff and he ended up nearly sleeping through the finals so…

“Time to go,” he says, instead of answering Naruto’s question, “why haven’t you changed already? You can’t go on a mission like that.”

“I’m not going on a mission!”

“Not dressed like that, you aren’t,” Jiraiya says completely sidestepping Naruto’s protests, “and with no mission gear? Okay, tell you what, brat, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get ready before we go. Now shoo,”

“I can’t leave,” Naruto says instead of quietly obeying because when has he ever done that?

“Why not?” Jiraiya asks, finally seeming to hear him.

“Because!” he shouts, to give himself time to think, “We just got invaded! The village is going to need all the help it can get to clean up and I’m not going to just leave on some stupid mission with some old pervert! You’ll probably spend the entire time looking at ladies in the baths!”

Naruto hasn’t really known Jiraiya long, but even a few conversations is enough to know that such a statement should at least get the pervert leering stupidly at even the thought of naked ladies. Instead his expression seems to darken, turning stony and solemn and nearly angry.

Naruto’s not afraid, but he is suddenly wary now: this is not the perverted old man who can be tricked with some clones and a henge, this is an S-rank shinobi.

But maybe he is a little bit afraid, enough to show on his face, because Jiraiya seems to soften. Only a little, though.

“I’d have thought you’d want to help your teammate in the hospital,” he begins, musingly. “But if you don’t want to take this mission to find the best healer in the Elemental Nations and heal your friend, well. But if you’d rather sort through rubble then…”

Naruto stares, too surprised and full of hope to speak.

“I thought so,” The pervy sage smirks, victorious, “You’re down to twenty minutes now. I’ll see you at the main gate.”

Naruto has never packed faster in his life.

~

A/N: Paaaaart twoooooo…

Naruto is probably the most difficult for me to write but Jiraiya’s definitely in the top five as well so…

Quest for the Queen, 3/6 (2016-05-10)

(three: confrontation)

For the first few days, Naruto stays quiet. Or, well, quiet for him. He asks the perverted sage all sorts of questions and makes comments on the things they see, the places they go, and the people they meet. On more than one occasion, Jiraiya has told him to shut up, and Naruto tries as best as he can–which means in less than an hour he’ll forget himself and remark on something. But he doesn’t complain.

How can he? He and Jiraiya are going to find an amazing healer to heal Shikako and then everything will be alright! There’s no way he’s gonna complain–not even if, for the most part, the perverted sage makes him stay at the inn because “Like hell I’m going to bring a twelve year old into a brothel.”

Which, gets steadily more and more annoying. Naruto kind of figured a good chunk of their trip would involve the old man being perverted, but they’re wasting time!

It’s on day four that Naruto explodes, just as Jiraiya says he’s going to go to a bar.

“It’s still morning!” Naruto shouts because there’s annoying and then there’s horrible, “You’ve been going in and out of bars and brothels for the past four days and we’re nowhere near closer to this lady!”

Jiraiya’s hand smacks over Naruto’s face, in an attempt to prevent him from yelling more, “Quiet down brat,” he hisses, but Naruto has already squirmed out of his hold.

“I could just make a thousand clones and I’ll find that lady in no time!” Naruto suggests, because if he’s going to be honest this isn’t so much about the perverted sage being a pervert or a drunkard as much as it is about himself. Naruto hasn’t been doing anything productive and he’s feeling antsy.

“And give up the fact that someone’s after her?” Jiraiya scoffs, slapping him upside the head, “Thank, brat. She’ll go to ground in seconds and we’ll never track her down. She’s cured a lot of very influential people, some who wouldn’t mind exchanging sanctuary for a live-in miracle healer. My contacts will help us figure out where she is, but they’re not going to be any help if you’ve made it obvious we’re searching for her.”

Oh. Well… he guesses he never thought about it like that. Shikako would have. She would have caught on way in the beginning instead of spending four days not knowing what was going on. And she would have explained it to him, too, so that he’d understand.

But if she were here, then they wouldn’t even be on this mission to find this healer lady.

“Then what do I do?” Naruto asks, because while it might make sense for the pervert sage to go to bars and brothels, he can’t exactly do the same thing.

Jiraiya hums musingly, glancing thoughtfully at the sky as if in deep thought, dramatically snapping his fingers. “I’m going to teach you a powerful jutsu,” he says, before stretching out his hand. In the center of his palm a swirling ball of chakra appears. He smirks and leans in, as if he’s telling a secret:

“It’s called the Rasengan.”

He’ll admit it: he did get distracted by the Rasengan. It is undeniably a cool and powerful jutsu–even if it’s being taught to him by a super pervert (then again, all of his teachers have been perverts of some degree or another)–but still, he should have been more focused on what the mission is even for.

So what if he can pop a water balloon and a rubber ball with chakra? That’s not going to help Shikako!

After a week of training they’ve passed through different towns, but they may as well all be the same because Jiraiya knows where all the bars and bathhouses and brothels are and that’s where he spends his time. Their time. The time they should be using to actually find this healer lady and bring her back to Konoha!

“If this were your teammate you wouldn’t be wasting time like this!” Naruto shouts, finally fed up and impatient, because Shikako has been in the hospital for weeks and what if–what if he never sees her again? what if, before they get back, her condition turns worse? what if it’s all his fault because he didn’t come back in time?

Jiraiya’s irritation swiftly slides into anger: a chilling, stony thing.

“Which teammate are you talking about?” He asks so coldly, “The one that hasn’t been to Konoha in decades, who has run around the Land of Fire doing whatever she wants and ignoring the consequences? Or the one that tried to invade Konoha, and killed our sensei? The one that your teammate killed.”

Naruto gulps, the killing intent a pressure against his spine, behind his eyes. He can’t speak.

“Maybe I should let your teammate die,” he ponders, still so dark and cold, “What’s one more person after everyone who died in the invasion? She went up against an S-rank shinobi, after all, genin don’t survive those kinds of odds.” He finishes pointedly, a not so subtle comparison between the situation now: Jiraiya, an S-rank, and Naruto, a mere genin.

Instead, of being scared of the threat, though, Naruto gets angry: “If you do that, you’re no better than that snake freak. Shikako’s a hero! Ranks didn’t matter to her and they don’t matter to me, either! I’m going to find this healer lady with or without your help!” And because it’s been on his mind lately, he tries to create a Rasengan–except he hasn’t gone on to the last step.

His chakra swirls, smooth and strong, but he doesn’t have control yet. It dissipates in a matter of moments.

Jiraiya snorts derisively, “And how are you going to do that? You haven’t even mastered the Rasengan yet?” In a swift movement, he goes around Naruto and pushes him to the ground, an imperious sandal keeping him there, “You can’t even protect yourself, much less your friend.”

Even though Jiraiya’s tone has gentled, his words hit the mark.

“I know!” Naruto shouts into the dirt, near sobbing with frustration, “I know I’m too weak, I know I can’t protect myself yet. But I can’t just do nothing!” The pressure on his back releases, and Naruto scrambles to his feet, scrubbing furiously at his cheeks, “I don’t care who I have to fight or what I have to do. I’m going to get stronger and I’m not going to let that happen to her again!”

Jiraiya sighs, looking skyward before meeting Naruto’s eyes. “Save me from genin with no self preservation,” he says, exasperated, but no longer a emitting a cloud of killing intent.

They stand in silence; Naruto’s breath heaving, Jiraiya assessing, before he turns around and leads the way, “I’ve heard news that Tsunade might be in this town, so keep your tantrums to yourself.”

“They’re not–!”

“But it’s good, that you’re so loyal to your friend,” he continues, not even looking back at Naruto, “She’ll need that when she wakes up.”

It’s not until they find and talk to Tsunade, does Naruto understand what he meant.

~

A/N: this is a really good spot to end this part but it’s a little early according to what i planned out so…

okay so I’m still pretty sure it’s only going to be six parts but I may have to… shift some things around from my original outline…

also! since this is an AU in which the whole Tsukuyomi debacle has been sidestepped because of ~reasons~ Jiraiya gets to have the “genin with no self preservation” conversation with Naruto instead of Shikako. Although he probably also has that conversation with her… or someone does. Trying to take on an S-rank missing nin? That’s silly, Shikako.

Quest for the Queen, 4/6 (2016-05-18)

(four: crisis)

Given the sheer number of casinos in this city, it’d be foolish to try and physically search each of them for one person. Not to mention, a person who doesn’t want to be found.

That being said, apparently the pervert sage is actually good at his job because he asks about the healer lady in a very round about way which shouldn’t give off any prior warning. Or, at least, that’s what he says he’s doing and Naruto’s trying not to doubt him as much as before. But it’s kind of difficult when all Jiraiya says is, “I heard the Legendary Sucker was in town.”

Which doesn’t sound like the kind of description he’d want for an amazing healer lady that can cure Shikako, but what does Naruto know?

The bartender, who hadn’t so much raised an eyebrow at Naruto despite him being almost a decade younger than the legal drinking age, nodded solemnly, “I’ve had a couple of customers celebrating big wins. Got a lot of tips,” she adds, then pointedly holds her hand out.

Grumbling, Jiraiya slides a couple of ryo across the bar, pettily refusing to put it in her hand.

Regardless, money is money, and the bartender accepts it with aplomb, “She’s been doing different casinos everyday–probably because she keeps reneging on payment. But none of them have sent debt collectors after her yet–she healed the mayor’s son so she still has some political capital left even if it’s not, you know, actual capital.”

That sounds like… good news, maybe?

“How many days has she been here for?” Jiraiya asks, because if they’re working on a deadline made of some kind of inverse relationship between monetary debt and political good graces then she might not be here for much longer.

“A week,” the bartender says, “There’s only one casino she hasn’t been to yet.”

Tsunade stares at the table in shock as the dealer, also surprised but a consummate professional, pushes the pile of poker chips towards her.

The other players around the table look at each other and mutter distrustfully about bad information, annoyance etched on their faces.

Until it turns into confusion.

“Gods damnit,” the Legendary Sucker growls, before standing up and stomping away, leaving her winnings behind.

Even forewarning gambling victories aren’t enough to help her escape from Jiraiya and the shrimpy brat trailing after him, which is highly unfortunate. So on par with her usual luck, then.

“Jiraiya,” she says flatly, because she can’t exactly go punching him in the face unprovoked.

“Tsunade-hime,” he says with a wide grin, “Let’s go get something to eat.”

She’d like to reject him out of hand, partially because that sounds suspiciously like a date even with their respective kids in tow but mostly because she heard about what happened in Konoha, what happened to Sensei.

She’s pretty sure she knows what he’s here for.

As it turns out, she’s wrong.

The healer lady comes with them to a restaurant and brings another lady, too, one who’s carrying a pig which seems like a weird thing especially when they’re ordering food and they get barbecue, but Naruto’s seen weirder and contents himself with the food instead. He’s starving!

“Sensei is dead,” pervert sage says, and Naruto tries to swallow his food down around the lump in his throat.

“I heard,” healer lady says, all cool and uncaring like Sasuke at his worst.

“Orochimaru, too,” pervert sage adds, which actually gets a reaction out of healer lady. Which is annoying and which he’d normally protest, but after his talk with Jiraiya about teammates he thinks maybe he kind of understands so he keeps quiet.

She looks away, a poor attempt to hide her face which somehow looks both angry and sad at the same time.

“Konoha needs you to come back,” pervert sage says, after allowing her a moment of silence.

And now it’s just anger, “I’m not going back just to be the next sacrifice wearing the hat!”

The other customers of the restaurant look their way curiously, before Jiraiya forms a seal with one hand and they all go back to their own meals.

Then he looks back at her, smirk on his face, “The council doesn’t want you to be the next Hokage.”

“What?” Tsunade says, sounding confused and almost offended.

Naruto is glad, because now they can finally get to the point!

Except instead pervert sage says, “You remember what Sensei told us when we went on our first mission out of the village? About the laws of succession–just in case things went south.”

She stares at him, “… Who? How could someone… It’s not you is it?” she says, almost accusingly.

And now Naruto is really confused.

Pervert sage snorts, “No, it’s not me. It’s Shikaku Nara’s brat, the girl one.”

Naruto bristles at the insult, but before he can yell at Jiraiya, the man adds almost formally:

“The Godaime Hokage is in critical condition–if you don’t come back and heal her, she won’t live to see her coronation.”

~

A/N: … do they have poker in the Naruto world? Well they do in DoS so that’s canon enough for me…

Okay so it’s a little late and that’s entirely my fault because it’s not like I was busy (except for catching up on my fanfic reading) and i probably should have done a quick mash of something before midnight but i didn’t want to distract myself from this installment of Quest for the Queen because I WANT THIS TO BE FINISHED SOOO BADLY ALREADY SO I CAN GO ON TO OTHER THINGS.

Also, weird POV switching halfway through the fic! I dunno? It’s still Naruto’s story but it didn’t want to flow from his POV so I just… didn’t for that part. Also… suuper need to shift around some things in my outline…

Quest for the Queen, 5/6 (2016-05-22)

(five: incentive)

There’s a moment of silence: Pervert sage, serious. Healer lady, shocked. Healer lady’s student, also shocked. Healer lady’s student’s pig, probably whatever pigs normally feel.

Naruto, definitely confused.

Until healer lady throws her head back and laughs, a loud, whole-bodied thing, which would normally make him smile, too, because he likes it when people laugh. But not in this case:

Naruto gets angry.

And it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t really understand what’s going on. All he knows is that Jiraiya mentioned Shikako, about how she might die before the next Hokage’s coronation, and all of a sudden this healer lady is laughing?

“It’s not funny!” Naruto shouts, “She’s seriously hurt!” he continues, raising his voice just to be heard over the lady’s laughter, and he doesn’t care if she’s some kind of amazing healer or pervert sage’s teammate–and, anyway, considering how evil the last one was, he’s not too surprised that this one’s terrible, too–but he’s not going to let her laugh at Shikako’s life.

“SHUT UP!” he roars, slamming his hands against the table, making it shake and the dishes rattle.

Their table, along with the rest of the restaurant, become silent again.

Tsunade looks at him with narrowed, cool eyes. “You want me to heal your little girlfriend?” she asks, tauntingly,

“You’ll have to pay me ten million ryo.”

Beside her, her student gasps.

Naruto can’t respond, something sticks in his throat. He doesn’t have that much money–he’s pretty sure no one has that much money.

Jiraiya argues, “That’s more than eight times the value of an S-rank.”

“Konoha is the wealthiest shinobi village. They’re good for it,” she responds, “And surely they’d pay anything for their Godaime Hokage to be healed.”

Naruto doesn’t know why they keep jumping between topics like this. Doesn’t understand why they’re suddenly talking about a new Hokage–until Tsunade continues, snidely, face twisted into a cruel smirk:

“Although why bother? That position is clearly cursed. The little Nara won’t last long under the hat–if she even lives to wear it, that is.”

And something inside Naruto’s head, buzzing low beneath his anger and fear, suddenly clicks.

They’re not jumping between topics, talking about two different people at the same time. They’re talking about the same person:

Shikako. The Godaime Hokage.

But… that can’t be right: that’s his dream!

And, sure, Shikako is smart and strong she’s a great shinobi, a good person–but she’s not… She’s not Hokage level!

Naruto has always dreamed of becoming the Hokage, but he’s not deluded like Konohamaru used to be–he’s not anywhere near strong enough to be Hokage yet. And if he’s not then Shikako’s not either!

But…

They wouldn’t talk about the Hokage and Shikako interchangeably unless they actually meant it. And they said something about laws of succession. It… makes sense, maybe: because Shikako killed the snake freak that killed Hokage-jiji. No one else did.

Sure, she wasn’t able to actually save Hokage-jiji but she still tried. And… isn’t that the kind of Hokage that Naruto wants to be? The kind of Hokage that Naruto wants to fight for? Because Shikako is still one of Naruto’s precious people–the first, even–and it doesn’t matter if it’s his dream, she’s still someone that he wants to protect. And maybe that’s not why he started off wanting to become Hokage, but that’s the reason now.

He can still protect his precious people even without being the Hokage; even if he’ll never be the Hokage. Because if he does succeed at protecting his precious people–and he will, that’s more important than being Hokage–then that means Shikako will be Hokage for as long as he protects her.

His thoughts spin around and twist on themselves and it’s confusing and almost gives him a headache, but his heart knows what’s right. It hurts now, having to let go of that old dream, but it’s something that he’s willing to do. Something he’s willing to give up, so long as Shikako ends up healthy and happy and alive.

When Naruto checks back into the conversation, shaking himself out of his tangled thoughts, pervert sage and healer lady are arguing about money of all things! As if Shikako’s life were something to be haggled over like a set of kunai!

Jiraiya is negotiating for a more reasonable price, talking about A-ranks and S-ranks and the council’s budget. About how Konoha needs money to rebuild after the invasion, about how recovery is expensive and a single person can’t be worth almost half an entire village’s finances.

Tsunade, meanwhile, snipes back about how Tsunade is the preeminent leader in the field, how her services are worth far more than a mere A-rank. About since the Hokage is the most important person in the Konoha, surely the village should be willing to do pay her rate.

And back and forth as if Shikako isn’t injured and in pain and possibly dying right this very second!

“This is so–!” He can’t even think of a word that’s explains how awful and petty and unimportant their arguing is, “I’ll bring you back to Konoha myself if I have to!” He points a finger at her, challenging and furious and promising.

“You honestly think you can fight me?” Tsunade says, turning her sharp eyes at him, “I won’t even need more than one finger to beat you.” She jerks her head towards the exit, “Let’s take this outside.”

~

A/N:… okay, this is not where i wanted to end this section but I still only want this series to be six parts so I’m just gonna have to squish the rest of this section into the beginning of the next part. But I think I’m on a roll so I’ll probably be posting that in a few hours, anyway.

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!

Quest for the Queen, 2/6 (2016-04-29)

(two: resolution)

After the memorial, Naruto goes to the training grounds. He doesn’t want to get in the way at the hospital, even though part of him really wants to see Shikako because maybe in the past three hours since he’s last checked they’ve somehow figured out a way to heal her.

Hell, he wouldn’t mind at least being able to talk to Sasuke for five minutes because that way they can be miserable together. But no, both of his teammates are cordoned off to special areas of the hospital that he can’t get to.

He’s not entirely sure why he’s come here, though. It’s not like training is any fun without either of them, and it’s not like he can do much by himself. Maybe he can spar against some of his clones but that seems kind of lonely. And inevitably he’ll summon clones to fight his clones and then he gets confused as to which clones he originally created in the first place.

He would go to Ichiraku’s except he doesn’t feel hungry, not even for ramen. And going by himself, knowing both of his teammates are in the hospital, doesn’t sound appealing at all. So really all Naruto can do is sit on the bridge and stare morosely at the little creek flowing underneath it, trying very hard not to be reminded of that swing hanging just outside the Academy.

Which is how the pervy sage finds him, still in his funeral blacks, kicking his feet back and forth as if that’ll solve anything at all.

“There you are, you brat,” pervy sage says, as if Naruto was late for a planned meeting which, no way, he’s not Kaka-sensei.

“What do you want?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious, because, sure, last time he hung out with the Jiraiya he did end up summoning a really huge toad but that’s only because the old pervert pushed him off a cliff and he ended up nearly sleeping through the finals so…

“Time to go,” he says, instead of answering Naruto’s question, “why haven’t you changed already? You can’t go on a mission like that.”

“I’m not going on a mission!”

“Not dressed like that, you aren’t,” Jiraiya says completely sidestepping Naruto’s protests, “and with no mission gear? Okay, tell you what, brat, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get ready before we go. Now shoo,”

“I can’t leave,” Naruto says instead of quietly obeying because when has he ever done that?

“Why not?” Jiraiya asks, finally seeming to hear him.

“Because!” he shouts, to give himself time to think, “We just got invaded! The village is going to need all the help it can get to clean up and I’m not going to just leave on some stupid mission with some old pervert! You’ll probably spend the entire time looking at ladies in the baths!”

Naruto hasn’t really known Jiraiya long, but even a few conversations is enough to know that such a statement should at least get the pervert leering stupidly at even the thought of naked ladies. Instead his expression seems to darken, turning stony and solemn and nearly angry.

Naruto’s not afraid, but he is suddenly wary now: this is not the perverted old man who can be tricked with some clones and a henge, this is an S-rank shinobi.

But maybe he is a little bit afraid, enough to show on his face, because Jiraiya seems to soften. Only a little, though.

“I’d have thought you’d want to help your teammate in the hospital,” he begins, musingly. “But if you don’t want to take this mission to find the best healer in the Elemental Nations and heal your friend, well. But if you’d rather sort through rubble then…”

Naruto stares, too surprised and full of hope to speak.

“I thought so,” The pervy sage smirks, victorious, “You’re down to twenty minutes now. I’ll see you at the main gate.”

Naruto has never packed faster in his life.

~

A/N: Paaaaart twoooooo…

Naruto is probably the most difficult for me to write but Jiraiya’s definitely in the top five as well so…

Quest for the Queen, 3/6 (2016-05-10)

(three: confrontation)

For the first few days, Naruto stays quiet. Or, well, quiet for him. He asks the perverted sage all sorts of questions and makes comments on the things they see, the places they go, and the people they meet. On more than one occasion, Jiraiya has told him to shut up, and Naruto tries as best as he can–which means in less than an hour he’ll forget himself and remark on something. But he doesn’t complain.

How can he? He and Jiraiya are going to find an amazing healer to heal Shikako and then everything will be alright! There’s no way he’s gonna complain–not even if, for the most part, the perverted sage makes him stay at the inn because “Like hell I’m going to bring a twelve year old into a brothel.”

Which, gets steadily more and more annoying. Naruto kind of figured a good chunk of their trip would involve the old man being perverted, but they’re wasting time!

It’s on day four that Naruto explodes, just as Jiraiya says he’s going to go to a bar.

“It’s still morning!” Naruto shouts because there’s annoying and then there’s horrible, “You’ve been going in and out of bars and brothels for the past four days and we’re nowhere near closer to this lady!”

Jiraiya’s hand smacks over Naruto’s face, in an attempt to prevent him from yelling more, “Quiet down brat,” he hisses, but Naruto has already squirmed out of his hold.

“I could just make a thousand clones and I’ll find that lady in no time!” Naruto suggests, because if he’s going to be honest this isn’t so much about the perverted sage being a pervert or a drunkard as much as it is about himself. Naruto hasn’t been doing anything productive and he’s feeling antsy.

“And give up the fact that someone’s after her?” Jiraiya scoffs, slapping him upside the head, “Thank, brat. She’ll go to ground in seconds and we’ll never track her down. She’s cured a lot of very influential people, some who wouldn’t mind exchanging sanctuary for a live-in miracle healer. My contacts will help us figure out where she is, but they’re not going to be any help if you’ve made it obvious we’re searching for her.”

Oh. Well… he guesses he never thought about it like that. Shikako would have. She would have caught on way in the beginning instead of spending four days not knowing what was going on. And she would have explained it to him, too, so that he’d understand.

But if she were here, then they wouldn’t even be on this mission to find this healer lady.

“Then what do I do?” Naruto asks, because while it might make sense for the pervert sage to go to bars and brothels, he can’t exactly do the same thing.

Jiraiya hums musingly, glancing thoughtfully at the sky as if in deep thought, dramatically snapping his fingers. “I’m going to teach you a powerful jutsu,” he says, before stretching out his hand. In the center of his palm a swirling ball of chakra appears. He smirks and leans in, as if he’s telling a secret:

“It’s called the Rasengan.”

He’ll admit it: he did get distracted by the Rasengan. It is undeniably a cool and powerful jutsu–even if it’s being taught to him by a super pervert (then again, all of his teachers have been perverts of some degree or another)–but still, he should have been more focused on what the mission is even for.

So what if he can pop a water balloon and a rubber ball with chakra? That’s not going to help Shikako!

After a week of training they’ve passed through different towns, but they may as well all be the same because Jiraiya knows where all the bars and bathhouses and brothels are and that’s where he spends his time. Their time. The time they should be using to actually find this healer lady and bring her back to Konoha!

“If this were your teammate you wouldn’t be wasting time like this!” Naruto shouts, finally fed up and impatient, because Shikako has been in the hospital for weeks and what if–what if he never sees her again? what if, before they get back, her condition turns worse? what if it’s all his fault because he didn’t come back in time?

Jiraiya’s irritation swiftly slides into anger: a chilling, stony thing.

“Which teammate are you talking about?” He asks so coldly, “The one that hasn’t been to Konoha in decades, who has run around the Land of Fire doing whatever she wants and ignoring the consequences? Or the one that tried to invade Konoha, and killed our sensei? The one that your teammate killed.”

Naruto gulps, the killing intent a pressure against his spine, behind his eyes. He can’t speak.

“Maybe I should let your teammate die,” he ponders, still so dark and cold, “What’s one more person after everyone who died in the invasion? She went up against an S-rank shinobi, after all, genin don’t survive those kinds of odds.” He finishes pointedly, a not so subtle comparison between the situation now: Jiraiya, an S-rank, and Naruto, a mere genin.

Instead, of being scared of the threat, though, Naruto gets angry: “If you do that, you’re no better than that snake freak. Shikako’s a hero! Ranks didn’t matter to her and they don’t matter to me, either! I’m going to find this healer lady with or without your help!” And because it’s been on his mind lately, he tries to create a Rasengan–except he hasn’t gone on to the last step.

His chakra swirls, smooth and strong, but he doesn’t have control yet. It dissipates in a matter of moments.

Jiraiya snorts derisively, “And how are you going to do that? You haven’t even mastered the Rasengan yet?” In a swift movement, he goes around Naruto and pushes him to the ground, an imperious sandal keeping him there, “You can’t even protect yourself, much less your friend.”

Even though Jiraiya’s tone has gentled, his words hit the mark.

“I know!” Naruto shouts into the dirt, near sobbing with frustration, “I know I’m too weak, I know I can’t protect myself yet. But I can’t just do nothing!” The pressure on his back releases, and Naruto scrambles to his feet, scrubbing furiously at his cheeks, “I don’t care who I have to fight or what I have to do. I’m going to get stronger and I’m not going to let that happen to her again!”

Jiraiya sighs, looking skyward before meeting Naruto’s eyes. “Save me from genin with no self preservation,” he says, exasperated, but no longer a emitting a cloud of killing intent.

They stand in silence; Naruto’s breath heaving, Jiraiya assessing, before he turns around and leads the way, “I’ve heard news that Tsunade might be in this town, so keep your tantrums to yourself.”

“They’re not–!”

“But it’s good, that you’re so loyal to your friend,” he continues, not even looking back at Naruto, “She’ll need that when she wakes up.”

It’s not until they find and talk to Tsunade, does Naruto understand what he meant.

~

A/N: this is a really good spot to end this part but it’s a little early according to what i planned out so…

okay so I’m still pretty sure it’s only going to be six parts but I may have to… shift some things around from my original outline…

also! since this is an AU in which the whole Tsukuyomi debacle has been sidestepped because of ~reasons~ Jiraiya gets to have the “genin with no self preservation” conversation with Naruto instead of Shikako. Although he probably also has that conversation with her… or someone does. Trying to take on an S-rank missing nin? That’s silly, Shikako.

Quest for the Queen, 4/6 (2016-05-18)

(four: crisis)

Given the sheer number of casinos in this city, it’d be foolish to try and physically search each of them for one person. Not to mention, a person who doesn’t want to be found.

That being said, apparently the pervert sage is actually good at his job because he asks about the healer lady in a very round about way which shouldn’t give off any prior warning. Or, at least, that’s what he says he’s doing and Naruto’s trying not to doubt him as much as before. But it’s kind of difficult when all Jiraiya says is, “I heard the Legendary Sucker was in town.”

Which doesn’t sound like the kind of description he’d want for an amazing healer lady that can cure Shikako, but what does Naruto know?

The bartender, who hadn’t so much raised an eyebrow at Naruto despite him being almost a decade younger than the legal drinking age, nodded solemnly, “I’ve had a couple of customers celebrating big wins. Got a lot of tips,” she adds, then pointedly holds her hand out.

Grumbling, Jiraiya slides a couple of ryo across the bar, pettily refusing to put it in her hand.

Regardless, money is money, and the bartender accepts it with aplomb, “She’s been doing different casinos everyday–probably because she keeps reneging on payment. But none of them have sent debt collectors after her yet–she healed the mayor’s son so she still has some political capital left even if it’s not, you know, actual capital.”

That sounds like… good news, maybe?

“How many days has she been here for?” Jiraiya asks, because if they’re working on a deadline made of some kind of inverse relationship between monetary debt and political good graces then she might not be here for much longer.

“A week,” the bartender says, “There’s only one casino she hasn’t been to yet.”

Tsunade stares at the table in shock as the dealer, also surprised but a consummate professional, pushes the pile of poker chips towards her.

The other players around the table look at each other and mutter distrustfully about bad information, annoyance etched on their faces.

Until it turns into confusion.

“Gods damnit,” the Legendary Sucker growls, before standing up and stomping away, leaving her winnings behind.

Even forewarning gambling victories aren’t enough to help her escape from Jiraiya and the shrimpy brat trailing after him, which is highly unfortunate. So on par with her usual luck, then.

“Jiraiya,” she says flatly, because she can’t exactly go punching him in the face unprovoked.

“Tsunade-hime,” he says with a wide grin, “Let’s go get something to eat.”

She’d like to reject him out of hand, partially because that sounds suspiciously like a date even with their respective kids in tow but mostly because she heard about what happened in Konoha, what happened to Sensei.

She’s pretty sure she knows what he’s here for.

As it turns out, she’s wrong.

The healer lady comes with them to a restaurant and brings another lady, too, one who’s carrying a pig which seems like a weird thing especially when they’re ordering food and they get barbecue, but Naruto’s seen weirder and contents himself with the food instead. He’s starving!

“Sensei is dead,” pervert sage says, and Naruto tries to swallow his food down around the lump in his throat.

“I heard,” healer lady says, all cool and uncaring like Sasuke at his worst.

“Orochimaru, too,” pervert sage adds, which actually gets a reaction out of healer lady. Which is annoying and which he’d normally protest, but after his talk with Jiraiya about teammates he thinks maybe he kind of understands so he keeps quiet.

She looks away, a poor attempt to hide her face which somehow looks both angry and sad at the same time.

“Konoha needs you to come back,” pervert sage says, after allowing her a moment of silence.

And now it’s just anger, “I’m not going back just to be the next sacrifice wearing the hat!”

The other customers of the restaurant look their way curiously, before Jiraiya forms a seal with one hand and they all go back to their own meals.

Then he looks back at her, smirk on his face, “The council doesn’t want you to be the next Hokage.”

“What?” Tsunade says, sounding confused and almost offended.

Naruto is glad, because now they can finally get to the point!

Except instead pervert sage says, “You remember what Sensei told us when we went on our first mission out of the village? About the laws of succession–just in case things went south.”

She stares at him, “… Who? How could someone… It’s not you is it?” she says, almost accusingly.

And now Naruto is really confused.

Pervert sage snorts, “No, it’s not me. It’s Shikaku Nara’s brat, the girl one.”

Naruto bristles at the insult, but before he can yell at Jiraiya, the man adds almost formally:

“The Godaime Hokage is in critical condition–if you don’t come back and heal her, she won’t live to see her coronation.”

~

A/N: … do they have poker in the Naruto world? Well they do in DoS so that’s canon enough for me…

Okay so it’s a little late and that’s entirely my fault because it’s not like I was busy (except for catching up on my fanfic reading) and i probably should have done a quick mash of something before midnight but i didn’t want to distract myself from this installment of Quest for the Queen because I WANT THIS TO BE FINISHED SOOO BADLY ALREADY SO I CAN GO ON TO OTHER THINGS.

Also, weird POV switching halfway through the fic! I dunno? It’s still Naruto’s story but it didn’t want to flow from his POV so I just… didn’t for that part. Also… suuper need to shift around some things in my outline…

Dropped Off Stitches (On The Loom Of Fate), (2016-05-17)

The first is a daughter born to the Uchiha in a time of warring clans. She is constantly crying and inconsolable, fussy even in Izuna’s arms–though it’s almost as if she tries to be on her best behavior for him. And on her worst for her other older brother.

No matter. She is a liability–she cannot become a future bride, much less a kunoichi if she does not live beyond infancy. The Uchiha has lost children before, ones far less unruly at that.

Left behind when her clan changes camp, Uchiha Hiromi does not live to see her third birthday.

(It’s unfortunate, but not terrible. She didn’t grow too attached this new family of hers, though she’ll mourn Izuna for showing her even a shred of kindness in this snippet of a life.

She didn’t finish Shippuden, so she wouldn’t have known what to change, anyway.)

The second, ironically, is a Senju, son of Hashirama and Mito, and an embarrassment to the family. Can you imagine? A Senju-Uzumaki child who cannot use chakra, can never become a shinobi. Luckily, he is not the first son and he’s a quick learner. Perhaps he can focus on fuinjutsu instead–a respectable calling, one that only requires the amount of chakra in living creatures.

Surprisingly, Tobirama is fond of him, for all his inadequacy as a warrior, but Tobirama was always more than just a warrior, too. Lawmaker, architect, seal master, inventor–a non-chakra legacy to be passed down from uncle to nephew.

It doesn’t hurt that Wataru is as suspicious of the Uchiha as he is.

(He dies again, from an illness that would make even a shinobi stumble and he without a chakra-enhanced immune system to fight it. He doesn’t even get to see his niece be born.

Some of his seals are life-changing, but not world-changing, and so they are not enough.)

The third is conflicted, always. Dead as an adult from relatively peaceful causes, born into a world that expects her to be a child soldier and kill other child soldiers. She thinks it will be difficult until she realizes when and where she was born. Who her brother is.

Surely Danzo will not expect an attack from his sickly sister, and wouldn’t the world be better without him? The first few attempts are so lousy that he doesn’t even register them as threats, and certainly not from her.

But as she improves, so does he, and he is a parallel path that Kanetsugu can never catch up to.

(The last thing she sees is her brother’s face as he kills her, tears dripping down his young, unlined cheeks.

Her last thought is horrifying: that perhaps she was the one that turned him into that delusional sociopath.)

Babies are born and die all the time, screaming and crying constantly. Some of them may have too intelligent gleams in their eyes, but surely that’s just a trick of the light.

The fourth might not actually be the fourth, it’s not like they know each other as such yet, but she is born in Konoha and to a clan at that. Surprisingly, it’s not her condition that prevents her from becoming a shinobi but rather her clan’s sickening practice of mutilating their children and stuffing them full of creepy crawlies.

She’s being unfair, she knows. It’s a bigoted view on what is an entirely consensual and symbiotic way of life. The Aburame don’t force children into becoming hosts and, actually, it would be a neat and logical solution to her condition.

But she just can’t shake the fear and disgust; Kamakiri wants her body–however ill-suited to this world–to be only hers.

(It hurts to breathe and it hurts to move, but she will pass through this life the same way she did her last–completely and utterly herself.

She’s in a lull of the timeline, anyway, there’s nothing that needs fixing now.)

Occasionally, the condition crops up again–in clan children and civilian children, randomly with no clear connection. One enterprising medic tries to make a study of it, but it is a project swiftly abandoned in favor of more important things.

They do not become ninja, these few individuals. The pain is too great, the need too little, but they do the best they can to improve things. Helping hands and listening ears and, sometimes, warnings disguised as advice though most of the time it’s hardly ever heeded.

It would be hypocritical for Hatake Kaju to convince his brother to leave people behind. Ichiraku Emi was never sure if she should tell a young Kushina to avoid a certain blonde. Shosho was already an old man when little baby TenTen appeared in the orphanage he ran, dead before she ever got to the Academy.

They are ripples against the current, quickly overpowered by the waves. But all of them hold out hope that maybe something can change.

Kamino Hoshi is an unmarried man with no family, one functional leg, and a small shop that sells the staples of ninja hood–kunai, soldier pills, etc.– he’s the only store that will charge Naruto market price, which is better than the others’ horrible markups, but which stings terribly in his heart. He has to make a living somehow, and eventually Naruto will learn that the best weapon in his arsenal is himself.

But that is not the most important thing right now. No, it is the twelve year old girl with brown hair instead of pink, wearing green instead of red, idly browsing through his store as she waits for her genin teammate.

A girl born with chakra hypersensitivity who went on to become a shinobi despite it. A girl who, just like him, shouldn’t exist.

A girl who can change the world.

~

A/N:… ahahaha, what the hell, no one even asked for this, but here you go. This definitely will not be continued because it’s pretty self-contained. Also, kinda horrifying and bleak especially in the beginning so…

Anyway, inspired by Silver Queen’s Reincarnation Roulette and my own throw away comment from this rant about all chakra hypersensitive people all having been reincarnated from our world.

Sorry about how shoddy it is, I’m very tired and spent all day yesterday traveling and the three days before that with my entire family so… super drained.

edit: now on ao3 as part of the Dreaming One Shots collection here

A fan’s issues within Naruto-fandom

book14reader:

insanescriptist:

To me it seems we’ve got a couple of issues that need to be spoken of.

First is a matter of translation. Idioms, in other words. Most people in our world, have an issue of thinking genius means smart about everything, including personal relationships when clearly that’s not true. You don’t have to go to college to see that, or hang out with the professors. Genii and very smart people sometimes make very stupid mistakes. We know that.

In Konoha and the Elemental Nations, genius refers to shinobi skills and not intelligence. You have genius shinobi galore, a few other genii but by and large they’re all extremely skilled for the most part. Exceptions would be where genius intellect and genius skills meet: Tobirama inventing jutsu, Orochimaru inventing/perfecting jutsu, Minato inventing/perfecting jutsu and so on. See a trend?

Please note that all these genius shinobi inventing/perfect jutsu that can, in theory be used by anyone which is why Hashirama is not on the list with his mokuton jutsu. They don’t just learn them and use them, like it is implied Sarutobi and Kakashi do. Kakashi doesn’t make the earlier list of genius intellect and genius skills because he only made one jutsu when others have made multiple.

Sarutobi and Kakashi are still considered genii. Like Sasuke and Neji are considered genii. Because of their skills. Genius shinobi skills don’t take a genius intellect, but having the latter helps. 

Which means that Konoha has a pointed problem of application of seeing/using genius outside of warfare and skills applicable to war. As does its people.


Next Point:

Even if they don’t admit it, they -everyone in the Elemental Nations- are always focused on war. It’s why Jiraiya and later Naruto are such oddballs because they want to focus on PEACE by NON-VIOLENT METHODS.

Politically speaking, they are politically always at the precipice of war, even during ‘peace’. It doesn’t mean that tragedy/death/trauma doesn’t happen then. It just means that it wasn’t enough to start a war.

Having the Jinchuriki actually does help as a deterrent; they either keep the ‘war(s)’ small-scale and ‘cold’ in that should shinobi here be near shinobi from other place, they’re likely going to try and kill each other without leaving clues to who did it. If they did or were caught at doing so, then war may actually break out.


Point the third:

War happens for a two reasons: resources and ideology.

Resources can be food, people, skilled professionals aka blacksmiths/whatever, water, minerals etc.

Ideology could be for religion, belief that things should be done differently or that this person should rule. Or because you really hate this bastard/group because they killed your brother.

A lot of the Warring Clan Era’s ‘Wars’ happened because of shinobi ideology and personal reasons.


The 4th point:

‘Wars’ during the Warring Clan Era mostly happened between shinobi clans. Most shinobi clans are skilled at being shinobi which makes them very avid consumers to any market. They need weapons, clothing, food etc.

Unless they live in Kaze no Kuni, where resources are at a premium. But that’s a different story.

Which because most of the shinobi aren’t fighting over food, means that they’re fighting for shinobi reasons aka their client, for the money, etc. Because they need money.

The reason the feud between the Senju and Uchiha became so big and infamous because those fights turned from professional to personal over generations. To the point that I wouldn’t be surprised if a few shinobi decided that not getting paid was worth the risk to try and kill a few Senju/Uchiha.


5th Point:

Villages are a new concept, not even a century old. There’s immense changes politically and economically and so on. And generations are a thing.

Generational Mindsets are a thing. Values passed down and so on. See baby-boomers vs Millenials and so on.

So really, you don’t have to look far to see that establishment of shinobi villages changes things. A lot of things, especially for those old enough to remember the village not being there. Which is pretty much anyone older than the young Sandaime, when he was the Nidaime’s student. As Sarutobi was about ten when Konoha was founded, that’s a lot of people.

The first generation born in the village is something I’m going to call Hopes and Dreams. Because that’s what their parents hoped for and so on. We really don’t much about them, being younger than Danzo, Sarutobi and so on but older than the Sanin. They’re just kinda there?

The point being, these were probably the first generation of shinobi to have a stable home-life during their childhood. Not constantly moving around from base to base, camp to camp worried about safety constantly. They were probably trained like their parents were, but due to being more sheltered from war aka not seeing it from the time they were born/walking, they were a bit more traumatized by it. H&D had parents transitioning from shinobi soldiers to parent-trainers/teachers because they had no idea how to parent that didn’t involve teaching them to survive war: because the village was a safe place, so long as people would defend it.

And they would, because they were shinobi.

*

The next generation tags along after this, which is what I’m going to call the genii-boom. Because there were a lot of strong shinobi/genii and most of them went down in a boom of self-destructive habits. Often messily.

Hatake Sakumo is a member of this generation. The Sanin are too. Their parents are either Clan War survivors or part of H&Ds. Which has effects, okay? Sakumo’s parents were probably Clan War Survivors and very much converts to the idea of Konoha, since the idea to avoid war at the cost of comrades apparently did not ever enter his mind. Very admirable on a personal level, very stupid on a political level. Tsunade and Orochimaru’s parents were probably CWS too who may have died in the 1st great shinobi war or shortly after. Jiraya has no parents mentioned, so he doesn’t get the CWS mindset from his parents. Instead, Jiraiya is very much a H&D-child; lots of optimism, still train just in case.

As you can see, because the concept of Village is new-ish, the concept of thinking outside personal politics is also a new thing. Village Reputation now exists and is shown by its shinobi. Which is why Sakumo is reviled by his peers because as a genius shouldn’t he know how his actions effect the village? The fact Sakumo chose to atone for this personally by suicide instead of by other means also speaks to him thinking like a CWS instead of a member of Konoha. The fact that it orphans Kakashi and he doesn’t think it will really matter as Kakashi is a brilliant shinobi already speaks more about this.

The Sanin were pretty much the stars of this generation btw. We also know how this all went. This is when trauma really starts to get noticeably worse, to the point of phobias. Because they’re not used to friends/family/comrades dying in droves like CWS are. War becomes very abhorrent to most of them.

This marks a shift in politics here, at least for Konoha.

They want to try to avoid war.

This is probably when the idea of the Chunin exams came to be.

*

Now the next gen, I will say is the Parent Generation. These are the parents of the majority of Naruto’s cohort in academy and as ninja peers.

Their parents fought in the 2nd Great Ninja War, while they were young. Like, no, daddy’s not here because he’s on the front lines and momma’s been injured real bad so she can’t be a shinobi anymore.

They grew up in war-time, if not at war. There was a break for about a decade and then came the 3rd Great Shinobi War, which they fought in as teens and young adults.

This results in a sort of mental dichotomy. You have parents being loving parents, yet also very capable killers. Most of those shone here are remarkably mentally stable, caring to friends, killers to enemies.

Although nothing really explains the Yondaime’s actions to Naruto except him being a village leader and securing power in Konoha for a future generation. It’s nice that you believe in him, but that is not how you fatherhood.

*

The next generation is the Sensei-generation, being about a decade younger than the Parent Generation.

Raised in war-time, fought in war as young teenagers. Comrades dying and so on. Very terrible, very traumatic. 

Itachi catches the tail-end of this generation, severely traumatized by the one battlefield he saw. To the point he doesn’t want war but wants to dedicate his life to that of pacifism. Itachi makes no sense, really.

Also, Kabuto also is here. As a baby, but he’s here.

*

The next generation is the Kyuubi-generation, being mostly made of Naruto’s peers and a little older. They grew up in peace, and the first death they experienced personal loss for was Asuma’s, followed by Neji’s sacrifice.

Any other death related to enemy-shinobi so that was just business. Even then, they seem remarkably hesitant to kill? Except Sasuke and Gaara.

No one is denying that they’re talented but they’re very soft and underprepared for actual war and death. Like Gaara killing in the Forest of Death freaked Team 8 out a lot.


Sixth Point:

Villages are new. Village politics are new.

Sandaime had two examples to look up to on how to rule Konoha. The Shodai, and Nidaime.

I get the feeling that the Shodai wasn’t much of a policy maker/ruler? Like here, I make village. Laws um… ask my brother.

Now the Nidaime, being a genius can actually apply his genius intellect to ruling. Like bureaucracy, fear him. He probably set up all sorts of regulations, laws and so on. We know he had a hand in creating the Konoha Military Police, he probably created AnBu too.

When the Sandaime took office, both of them were also very dead.

So Sarutobi ends up working international politics, village politics and so on without a mentor or much of a clue to go on. Just saying that Sarutobi earned his Hokage hat in war, finished the war, while trying to figure out how to Hokage. He then raised his students, got married and had kids, and so on while trying to Hokage and parent at the same time, which was more difficult seeing as how Asuma ran to the Daimyo-Guard and his sibling is never mentioned?

Sarutobi also has to deal with the generational shifts and the mindset in his shinobi. Don’t want war?

I’ll see if I can avoid it. Would you be willing to sacrifice one of your members Hyuuga-clan? Thank you. War averted.

See the think about Sarutobi is that he adapted his mindset for when there’s peace vs when there’s war. He became a parent who could be a loving father and a God of Shinobi.

Danzo didn’t. Danzo is still very much a CWS. Survivors don’t make good rulers. They’re too busy working on surviving to rule in any long-term feasible way.


Point Seven:

When you write a Naruto character please pay attention to their world and what it means to them/how it has effected them.

This means generational mind-sets, the history of the world, the ideology of shinobi and how closely a character adheres to that.

I have my issues with the manga and anime itself, but these are the issues I have with fandom. Kishi’s rather terrible with strong female leads but he was very good at showing how generations, history and parents -or lack of- shaped his characters.

Both good and bad.

What say you @blackkatmagic and @hiruma-musouka

@jacksgreysays what do you think?

This is a fantastic read (thanks for tagging me, @book14reader) and I agree with most everything here. There are some clear generational differences in Naruto that do affect characterizations, cross-generational relationships, as well as the reader’s consumption of the manga. There are a few tangents (not arguments because they’re not against what @insanescriptist said, so much as just… sideways) that struck me as I was reading this:

1) clan vs “civilian” shinobi

I’m not sure if this is implied, but the generation midsets that insanescriptist describes best works with clan kids or those who have shinobi parents and become shinobi themselves. It’s not quite analogous to university education or immigration status, but there is this sense of being the first shinobi in the family (or being an orphan and becoming a shinobi) influences how children learn about what it is to be a ninja and how that relates to the village:

Take the Kyuubi-generation: of the Rookie Nine, only Team Seven aren’t part of active shinobi clans with Naruto being an orphan, Sakura being civilian born (… if we’re going by manga instead of anime and even then, they aren’t clan shinobi), and Sasuke having lost his clan at around age seven. Some of Team Eight and Ten are even clan heirs/children of the clan heads!

What this means is that, given their familial duties, the other Rookie Nine are raised to be aware of if not their actions reflecting the entire village, then their respective clans at the very least. Team Seven? Doesn’t really have that. Oh, sure, Sasuke keeps in mind an idealized version of what the Uchiha clan would want, but he doesn’t actually know; he lost them too early to get a real idea of that. Sakura has no clan connections, which means it’s only her teammates/sensei which connects her to the idea of the ninja side of the village–a somewhat mellower version of Naruto’s precious people schtick.

Which partially explains why Team Seven’s team melodrama is literally effecting things like foreign relations–each of them think so much of themselves as individuals that they don’t even bother with how this might look like to the rest of the world. Sasuke never being declared a missing nin and the “kidnapping” Killer B? HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY GO WRONG?! Oh, Naruto will just talk to the Kumo team so they won’t declare war on Konoha/demand Sasuke’s head–no biggie. Team Seven doesn’t understand the political ramifications of their actions–well, maybe Sakura, only because her shishou is the Hokage–and it has to do with them not being clan kids, not being raised entrenched in this system of group over individual.

Extend that to the other generations–of the genii-boom (Hatake Sakumo and the Sannin) only Tsunade is part of a clan, while Orochimaru is a confirmed orphan and Sakumo and Jiraiya’s parentage is kind of unsure. Orochimaru leaving the village (I mean, despite the whole “crimes against humanity”) means he actually full on left the village–missing nin status, creating a rival village, eventually coming back to kill the Sandaime. It’s a very individualistic take on being a shinobi.

Contrast with Tsunade who–even though her clan is basically now herself, she was raised with the name and the responsibilities–though she leaves, never becomes a liability to Konoha. She never acts against the village. In fact, she comes back when asked to (and sure it took a pathos based argument from Naruto) and becomes the Hokage. Not only is that a point for her motivations–that she never had anything against the village per se–but also for her reputation: even decades of “retirement” couldn’t diminish her power when she stepped into office.

An invasion and recently killed Hokage should have made Konoha prime prey for the other villages–in particular Kumo and Iwa, given their previous historic grudges against Konoha. There should have been a following invasion, especially at that point in time when Killer B and Yugito were so much better trained than Konoha’s singular jinchuuriki.

But I digress.

While I don’t really know what the Hatake family was like or who even Jiraiya’s parents are, I think it’s safe to assume that they probably weren’t from clans or not very big clans at least. So Sakumo failing a mission to save his friends? Makes sense if he’s not a clan kid–he doesn’t have that bigger picture trained into him, his version of the village is through the people he knows (ie his teammates… is this just fanon or canon, but the teammates on that mission were they his genin teammates?).

And Jiraiya? He was asked to be Hokage first before he passed the buck to Tsunade–he rejected even though the village needed a strong shinobi in power ASAP. And, yes, you can argue that he’s head of the spy network, etc, etc, he serves Konoha by being out in the field and anyway it’s time to bring Tsunade back into the fold. Yes. But there’s nothing to say that he couldn’t have delegated his spy network to someone else–or assigned someone else to get Tsunade while he played interim Hokage. No, he was still being too butthurt about the Sandaime preferring Orochimaru over him to step up.

2) de-escalation of Kages as killers

I don’t even know where I’m going with this, but I think it’s super neat how (ate least with Suna, Konoha, and Mizu) that the Godaime are all known for not being killers? Because Tsunade is most famous for being a revolutionary medic nin, Terumi Mei for being a politician, and while Gaara is known for being a killer it’s only when he became less homicidal that he became Kazekage.

I mean, sure, it’s not like there were many other choices (given the whole weird Kazekage bloodline thing) but I feel like if Gaara had stayed that crazy loose-cannon, regardless of how powerful he is, they would have gone with Temari as Kazekage with Gaara as her barely leashed weapon of mass destruction. (Though having three out of the five major villages have female rulers would have been super cool).

Then Naruto is basically ninja messiah espousing “peace via non-violent methods” so it’s still following that trend even if he is literally the strongest being in the world.

3) Kyuubi-generation is not our generation

Unfortunately? I feel like this is something that didn’t become obvious to me until afterwards because it felt like they should be. They grew up alongside me the reader, so it felt they should be. And there was such a dissonance during the epilogue–similar to, but not as strong as the epilogue for the Harry Potter series–like, an almost disappointment that everyone just paired up and had children and maintained the status quo. With Harry Potter, it was especially disappointing because there are years that match up to the real world and so we know how old everyone would be right this very second if it were real. Naruto series, not so much.

The Kyuubi-generation, despite all their radicalism in their youth, are mostly just perpetuating what they know. Traditionalism of the village lifestyle they grew up in being passed down to their children because, hey, they grew up in peace and maybe we shouldn’t rock the boat. But you know what? They’re still being trained as warriors even though it’s supposed to be world-wide peace. If this really were a successful peacetime, their kids wouldn’t be trained with weapons they’d be trained for healing (always can use more doctors) or sealing or other nonviolent ways to apply chakra. We’ve seen that this is possible–the Fire Temple has monks who don’t use chakra for offensive abilities–but Naruto doesn’t make that change. And, yes, maybe it’s because he doesn’t know how. For all that he is ninja messiah he was raised as a weapon alongside all the other Rookie Nine/Konoha Twelve.

(Also, the women are keeping house and the men are out at work and I hope to god this is not how my generation turns out. Wth, this is some Stepford Wives bullshit).

So do you think there would be a lot of expectation/pressure to get married and have kids for Shikako, and Konoha in general? Later in life, closer to 20s I mean.

Hm… I feel like for the kids who are clan heirs–rather than seconds–there would be some pressure to get married and have heirs. I mean, as we saw with Shikaku’s chapter of Sunshine Sidestories, there is still a very strong traditionalism–and even though that’s the generation before, I don’t think it would relax so much to allow no heirs whatsoever. In contrast, there is the possibility that heirs with seconds–such as Shikamaru with Shikako, Hana with Kiba, and Chiyako and Shino (who I am still unsure if he is the heir or not, but him being the older brother in a matrilineal clan is something that just resonates with me)–would be exempt from having children if their respective seconds have viable heirs instead (though given the seconds in question that’s kinda unlikely).

However, given that most of the kids are clan heirs and have been raised as such (with the understanding that they enjoy the benefits of the clan because they have duties to the clan) they probably also accept that having children eventually or preparing their heir is one of those duties. I mean, they don’t need to have children in their twenties, but I think if they’re nearing thirty and they’re not even married the elders of each respective clan would be worried…

I wonder about artificial insemination, though, because… like… does that exist in this future or not? Because if so, you’d think that canon!Sasuke would consider that to rebuild his clan? Or some of the more practical minded members of Konoha would want to revive such a powerful bloodline? And it’s not like Konoha as the forerunner of the health industry wouldn’t be able to figure it out?

Then again, given how Shippuden was basically “Uchiha melodrama almost destroys the world,” maybe a practical mind would want to prevent the revival of the Sharingan users.

Hail To The Queen: Or, Some Ways Shikako Never Became The Hokage, 1/? (2016-04-18)

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

(one: she who kills the kingslayer)

There was a tradition, in a different land, from a different life, that he who killed the king would then become the king. For if one could kill the king, then hasn’t one already conquered the kingdom?

That is not the case in Konoha, not really. The Shodaime was founder, and the Nidaime his brother, the Sandaime their student, and the Yondaime a war hero. The hat–the crown–passed down amicably, if not peacefully.

But the logic remains, in its own way, and could easily be applied. For if the Hokage is the strongest shinobi of Konoha, then the one who kills him proves they are even stronger: and, by definition, ought to become the next Hokage.

So what does that mean, for the girl who kills the monster that killed the Sandaime Hokage?

On her way to the stadium, she observes that the adults are wary, tense and prepared, waiting for something to happen. They know about an impending attack, yes, but they don’t know the details. They know the enemy is Sound and Sand, they even know Orochimaru is involved, but they don’t know the full truth.

Shikako does.

She steers her growing group closer to the Kage’s box, because even if she knows it’s mostly a product of the rigorous desensitization of the Academy, she is still a shinobi of Konoha, sworn to protect it’s leader.

And when the feathers fall, when everyone else is busy shaking off the genjutsu and dodging attacks from disguised Sound and Sand shinobi, Shikako looks up.

The Kazekage, no, Orochimaru has held the Sandaime hostage, has dragged him up to the roof of the stadium to start a battle that Shikako knows will lead to the Hokage’s death if he fights alone.

But the adults know, surely someone will be able react in time? Instead Sand shinobi, no, the Sound Four, rebuff their attempts long enough for the Sandaime to be isolated. Long enough for them to position themselves onto the four corners of the roof–Shikako knows that if they get the barrier up then it really will be all over for the Sandaime. She has to act now!

“Be ready to attack whoever comes here,” she says in a rush, hoping her friends hear her.

A barrier in the shape of a rectangular prism simply cannot exist if one of the four corners is switched out. And Shikako has practiced the Replacement Jutsu an awful lot recently.

The barrier fails and the shock of it is enough that some of the ANBU can engage the Sound Four–the Sound Three, right now–in their distraction while others rush the newly revealed Orochimaru.

But he summons the Shodaime and Nidaime and they were not Hokage for nothing and even the best trained ANBU can fall before legends.

The battle is above Shikako’s ability, truly, for she has grown stronger but not on par with this. But she can pull her chakra in, become invisible, strike when an opening arises.

Orochimaru still kills the Sandaime, despite the additional help, but the Shinigami also still takes away the use of his arms and that is opening enough. He is not expecting a mere genin to sneak behind him and tap the largest, most lethal touch blast she can think of onto his obi, and so that is what she does.

She is not fast enough to get completely outside the blast radius because she didn’t give herself time to do so–it would have given Orochimaru time to escape, somehow, too. And so, as the massive explosion detonates, an enormous fireball of light and heat scorching her eyes, she hopes that this will all be worth it.

Shikako wakes up in a hospital bed, one month later, to Tsunade Senju’s smirking face and is summarily informed that the Slug Sannin has not returned to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage.

No, she has returned to heal the Godaime Hokage.

~

A/N: Hahahaha… haha… ha… uh. This was supposed to be hella shorter because this wasn’t supposed to actually become a series 😡 this was supposed to be a bunch of tiny drabbles all contained in one post but apparently my brain was like… nah. You gotta make it longer. You just gotta. Goddamnit, brain…

So this one is for you, anon who wanted to see Shikako as Hokage. The first of several ways she will never become Hokage.

Quest For The Queen, 1/6 (2016-04-26)

(one: ending)

The funeral is a miserable thing, somber and serious and everyone wearing black and standing in neat rows. The sky is dark, clouds heavy like the weight on his shoulders, and if Naruto were ever to hate something it would be this.

He never wants to go to another funeral again.

He knows it’s stupid, but he wants to make it so that a funeral never happens again.

He knows death is part of life, he’s not that dumb. He knows that he can’t actually prevent death, but maybe he can become strong enough to prevent this kind of funeral from happening. He’d rather have gone to a funeral after Hokage-jiji died peacefully in his sleep, or from losing too much blood from a giant perverted nose bleed, or something like he ate too much and his stomach exploded.

He hates this helpless feeling, standing around quietly as his inability to protect his precious people is rubbed in his face:

Hokage-jiji and so many other Konoha shinobi dead.

Sasuke back in lockdown in case the curse seal takes advantage of his chakra exhaustion.

Shikako in a medically induced coma, put in the intensive care stasis room because her entire body is covered in third and fourth degree burn–he didn’t even know there was such a thing as fourth degree burns.

All Naruto has to show for the attack are some bandages on his face.

And then it starts raining.

“Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?” He blurts out, the questions scratching away at his throat because he’s trying so hard not to cry.

Iruka-sensei answers him, something about people being tied together even after someone passes away. How the memory of that person will still live through their family and friends and loved ones. And if Naruto had been talking about Hokage-jiji it might have helped, but if anything it makes him feel worse because he’s not thinking about Hokage-jiji–he’s thinking about Shikako.

She might be the next funeral he goes to, the thought flickers so quickly through his mind that he can’t even squash it before it registers.

“So we do it because we have to. Sort of,” he says, because that at least makes sense. Shikako tried to save Hokage-jiji, even if that meant fighting the freaky snake bastard who had already beaten all three of them in the forest. She was willing to risk her life for that smallest possibility she could save him, “Still, I’m worried for her.”

Iruka-sensei looks confused for a moment before understanding dawns on his face. His eyes dart away, guilty, for not having interpreted Naruto’s question correctly.

Kakashi-sensei, who snuck in late but was stealthy enough to not make a disturbance, puts a careful hand on Naruto’s shoulder and squeezes. He’s worried, too. Too worried to say anything.

Which means that Naruto has to be the one to speak.

“But Shikako’s strong,” he says, because it’s true. He’s never known her to be anything but strong, “She’ll definitely recover,” he adds because maybe if he says it, that will also become true. “Believe it!” He says, even as he struggles to do the same.

The sun comes out and starts to shine, and Naruto hopes that it’s a sign that things really will be okay.

~

A/N: Okay so… Quest For The Queen will have six parts… I think…

I DUNNO! NARUTO’S VOICE IS SO DIFFICULT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! @book14reader totally knows what I’m talking about.

But I just really want to address Naruto in this series so here’s his spin-off!

Quest for the Queen, 2/6 (2016-04-29)

(two: resolution)

After the memorial, Naruto goes to the training grounds. He doesn’t want to get in the way at the hospital, even though part of him really wants to see Shikako because maybe in the past three hours since he’s last checked they’ve somehow figured out a way to heal her.

Hell, he wouldn’t mind at least being able to talk to Sasuke for five minutes because that way they can be miserable together. But no, both of his teammates are cordoned off to special areas of the hospital that he can’t get to.

He’s not entirely sure why he’s come here, though. It’s not like training is any fun without either of them, and it’s not like he can do much by himself. Maybe he can spar against some of his clones but that seems kind of lonely. And inevitably he’ll summon clones to fight his clones and then he gets confused as to which clones he originally created in the first place.

He would go to Ichiraku’s except he doesn’t feel hungry, not even for ramen. And going by himself, knowing both of his teammates are in the hospital, doesn’t sound appealing at all. So really all Naruto can do is sit on the bridge and stare morosely at the little creek flowing underneath it, trying very hard not to be reminded of that swing hanging just outside the Academy.

Which is how the pervy sage finds him, still in his funeral blacks, kicking his feet back and forth as if that’ll solve anything at all.

“There you are, you brat,” pervy sage says, as if Naruto was late for a planned meeting which, no way, he’s not Kaka-sensei.

“What do you want?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious, because, sure, last time he hung out with the Jiraiya he did end up summoning a really huge toad but that’s only because the old pervert pushed him off a cliff and he ended up nearly sleeping through the finals so…

“Time to go,” he says, instead of answering Naruto’s question, “why haven’t you changed already? You can’t go on a mission like that.”

“I’m not going on a mission!”

“Not dressed like that, you aren’t,” Jiraiya says completely sidestepping Naruto’s protests, “and with no mission gear? Okay, tell you what, brat, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get ready before we go. Now shoo,”

“I can’t leave,” Naruto says instead of quietly obeying because when has he ever done that?

“Why not?” Jiraiya asks, finally seeming to hear him.

“Because!” he shouts, to give himself time to think, “We just got invaded! The village is going to need all the help it can get to clean up and I’m not going to just leave on some stupid mission with some old pervert! You’ll probably spend the entire time looking at ladies in the baths!”

Naruto hasn’t really known Jiraiya long, but even a few conversations is enough to know that such a statement should at least get the pervert leering stupidly at even the thought of naked ladies. Instead his expression seems to darken, turning stony and solemn and nearly angry.

Naruto’s not afraid, but he is suddenly wary now: this is not the perverted old man who can be tricked with some clones and a henge, this is an S-rank shinobi.

But maybe he is a little bit afraid, enough to show on his face, because Jiraiya seems to soften. Only a little, though.

“I’d have thought you’d want to help your teammate in the hospital,” he begins, musingly. “But if you don’t want to take this mission to find the best healer in the Elemental Nations and heal your friend, well. But if you’d rather sort through rubble then…”

Naruto stares, too surprised and full of hope to speak.

“I thought so,” The pervy sage smirks, victorious, “You’re down to twenty minutes now. I’ll see you at the main gate.”

Naruto has never packed faster in his life.

~

A/N: Paaaaart twoooooo…

Naruto is probably the most difficult for me to write but Jiraiya’s definitely in the top five as well so…

Quest for the Queen, 3/6 (2016-05-10)

(three: confrontation)

For the first few days, Naruto stays quiet. Or, well, quiet for him. He asks the perverted sage all sorts of questions and makes comments on the things they see, the places they go, and the people they meet. On more than one occasion, Jiraiya has told him to shut up, and Naruto tries as best as he can–which means in less than an hour he’ll forget himself and remark on something. But he doesn’t complain.

How can he? He and Jiraiya are going to find an amazing healer to heal Shikako and then everything will be alright! There’s no way he’s gonna complain–not even if, for the most part, the perverted sage makes him stay at the inn because “Like hell I’m going to bring a twelve year old into a brothel.”

Which, gets steadily more and more annoying. Naruto kind of figured a good chunk of their trip would involve the old man being perverted, but they’re wasting time!

It’s on day four that Naruto explodes, just as Jiraiya says he’s going to go to a bar.

“It’s still morning!” Naruto shouts because there’s annoying and then there’s horrible, “You’ve been going in and out of bars and brothels for the past four days and we’re nowhere near closer to this lady!”

Jiraiya’s hand smacks over Naruto’s face, in an attempt to prevent him from yelling more, “Quiet down brat,” he hisses, but Naruto has already squirmed out of his hold.

“I could just make a thousand clones and I’ll find that lady in no time!” Naruto suggests, because if he’s going to be honest this isn’t so much about the perverted sage being a pervert or a drunkard as much as it is about himself. Naruto hasn’t been doing anything productive and he’s feeling antsy.

“And give up the fact that someone’s after her?” Jiraiya scoffs, slapping him upside the head, “Thank, brat. She’ll go to ground in seconds and we’ll never track her down. She’s cured a lot of very influential people, some who wouldn’t mind exchanging sanctuary for a live-in miracle healer. My contacts will help us figure out where she is, but they’re not going to be any help if you’ve made it obvious we’re searching for her.”

Oh. Well… he guesses he never thought about it like that. Shikako would have. She would have caught on way in the beginning instead of spending four days not knowing what was going on. And she would have explained it to him, too, so that he’d understand.

But if she were here, then they wouldn’t even be on this mission to find this healer lady.

“Then what do I do?” Naruto asks, because while it might make sense for the pervert sage to go to bars and brothels, he can’t exactly do the same thing.

Jiraiya hums musingly, glancing thoughtfully at the sky as if in deep thought, dramatically snapping his fingers. “I’m going to teach you a powerful jutsu,” he says, before stretching out his hand. In the center of his palm a swirling ball of chakra appears. He smirks and leans in, as if he’s telling a secret:

“It’s called the Rasengan.”

He’ll admit it: he did get distracted by the Rasengan. It is undeniably a cool and powerful jutsu–even if it’s being taught to him by a super pervert (then again, all of his teachers have been perverts of some degree or another)–but still, he should have been more focused on what the mission is even for.

So what if he can pop a water balloon and a rubber ball with chakra? That’s not going to help Shikako!

After a week of training they’ve passed through different towns, but they may as well all be the same because Jiraiya knows where all the bars and bathhouses and brothels are and that’s where he spends his time. Their time. The time they should be using to actually find this healer lady and bring her back to Konoha!

“If this were your teammate you wouldn’t be wasting time like this!” Naruto shouts, finally fed up and impatient, because Shikako has been in the hospital for weeks and what if–what if he never sees her again? what if, before they get back, her condition turns worse? what if it’s all his fault because he didn’t come back in time?

Jiraiya’s irritation swiftly slides into anger: a chilling, stony thing.

“Which teammate are you talking about?” He asks so coldly, “The one that hasn’t been to Konoha in decades, who has run around the Land of Fire doing whatever she wants and ignoring the consequences? Or the one that tried to invade Konoha, and killed our sensei? The one that your teammate killed.”

Naruto gulps, the killing intent a pressure against his spine, behind his eyes. He can’t speak.

“Maybe I should let your teammate die,” he ponders, still so dark and cold, “What’s one more person after everyone who died in the invasion? She went up against an S-rank shinobi, after all, genin don’t survive those kinds of odds.” He finishes pointedly, a not so subtle comparison between the situation now: Jiraiya, an S-rank, and Naruto, a mere genin.

Instead, of being scared of the threat, though, Naruto gets angry: “If you do that, you’re no better than that snake freak. Shikako’s a hero! Ranks didn’t matter to her and they don’t matter to me, either! I’m going to find this healer lady with or without your help!” And because it’s been on his mind lately, he tries to create a Rasengan–except he hasn’t gone on to the last step.

His chakra swirls, smooth and strong, but he doesn’t have control yet. It dissipates in a matter of moments.

Jiraiya snorts derisively, “And how are you going to do that? You haven’t even mastered the Rasengan yet?” In a swift movement, he goes around Naruto and pushes him to the ground, an imperious sandal keeping him there, “You can’t even protect yourself, much less your friend.”

Even though Jiraiya’s tone has gentled, his words hit the mark.

“I know!” Naruto shouts into the dirt, near sobbing with frustration, “I know I’m too weak, I know I can’t protect myself yet. But I can’t just do nothing!” The pressure on his back releases, and Naruto scrambles to his feet, scrubbing furiously at his cheeks, “I don’t care who I have to fight or what I have to do. I’m going to get stronger and I’m not going to let that happen to her again!”

Jiraiya sighs, looking skyward before meeting Naruto’s eyes. “Save me from genin with no self preservation,” he says, exasperated, but no longer a emitting a cloud of killing intent.

They stand in silence; Naruto’s breath heaving, Jiraiya assessing, before he turns around and leads the way, “I’ve heard news that Tsunade might be in this town, so keep your tantrums to yourself.”

“They’re not–!”

“But it’s good, that you’re so loyal to your friend,” he continues, not even looking back at Naruto, “She’ll need that when she wakes up.”

It’s not until they find and talk to Tsunade, does Naruto understand what he meant.

~

A/N: this is a really good spot to end this part but it’s a little early according to what i planned out so…

okay so I’m still pretty sure it’s only going to be six parts but I may have to… shift some things around from my original outline…

also! since this is an AU in which the whole Tsukuyomi debacle has been sidestepped because of ~reasons~ Jiraiya gets to have the “genin with no self preservation” conversation with Naruto instead of Shikako. Although he probably also has that conversation with her… or someone does. Trying to take on an S-rank missing nin? That’s silly, Shikako.

You and Me and Baby (Makes Fifteen), part 1 /2 (2016-05-06)

A/N1: Response to this prompt because it was really compelling. Unfortunately, despite the title, this turned out way less cracky than I thought I was going to do… I’m actually a little sad. Also, this is a hella lot longer than I thought it would be hence why I’m breaking it up into parts

~

It happens when Shikako is exploring the ruins of Uzushiogakure. According to the paperwork she had to file for her self-assigned mission–which is something she can do because she’s teammates with both of the ninja messiahs and also the Hokage was her sensei–this is a research trip to see if any knowledge of the Uzushio style of sealing can be salvaged. Mostly, though, it’s her way of indulging that part of her that always wanted to be Indiana Jones.

The Land of Whirlpools, the minuscule series of islands far off the southern coast of the Land of Fire, is beautiful. Tropical without being muggy, everything in bright colors–the water, the sunset, the fauna–teeming with life. Just not of the human variety.

The broken chunks of what used to be buildings have grown over with shoots of green. Only by physically brushing some moss away does she see carvings of what must have been seals–inert without chakra and without the complete structure. It’s disconcerting, to say the least, and frustrating: as if seeing the ashes of the Library of Alexandria, all the wisdom and potential lost because of jealousy and greed and short-sighted pride.

There’s a fine line between excavating and looting, of which she takes care to remain on the respectful side. Places that look like they might have been private homes–even if they are better preserved–she only peers into curiously; the half-collapsed shells of public buildings are what she’s seeking. For now.

A hospital is easy enough to recognize, and something like a library, though most of the books have gone moldy with exposure and anyway, this seems to be one of the lower level libraries. Which makes sense, the shape of a school is its neighbor.

She tries not to scream when she recognizes a playground.

She shuts her eyes, overcome, and lets her hearing and chakra sense take over for sight. The susurration of waves and the call of some bird of paradise, the chakra of plants and insects buzzing at her senses and…

–what, how–

… the steady pulsing of human chakra not her own.

Shikako follows it, the rhythm constant like a heartbeat, away from the center of the village and towards the outskirts. She’d say they were training grounds, except for how there is a small one room building in the center, surprisingly well-preserved–though perhaps this is just what Uzushio training grounds look like.

The door has rotted shut, but so have the security seals, so all it needs is a shove. Inside looks like an office, or a lab, like the many set aside for members of Konoha’s R&D.

On the desk is a dusty and disorganized pile of papers–research notes, she’d recognize that anywhere–and a scroll of pulsing chakra.

Of course she touches it: once a Lucky Seven always a Lucky Seven.

But at least she tries to read the papers first, trying to figure out what it may be. So still reckless, but at least it’s not a blind recklessness.

Given that the notes referenced stasis seals and summoning seals and storage seal, she’s not sure what she was expecting.

She definitely wasn’t expecting a baby.

The problem with being away from home for months at a time is that when one finally returns with a surprise baby in tow, people tend to make a certain assumption. She wasn’t even gone that long!

Sakura, because only she’s foolishly sentimental enough to willingly be Shikako’s primary medic, looks between her and the red-haired baby and makes an additional assumption by asking, “Is that the Kazekage’s kid?”

Shikako hopes her expression is enough of an answer.

“Well, you can’t blame me!” Sakura says, as she finishes up the diagnostic jutsu and writes an all clear on Shikako’s records. “Do you want me to check up on it, too?” She gestures, because she’s done rotations in maternity ward before and there’s no need to bring some other medic in.

“Him,” Shikako corrects, and carefully holds the baby up so Sakura can reach him. He makes small baby sounds, perhaps at the movement or maybe at the diagnostic jutsu, but he settles soon enough. “I found him in Uzushio.”

“Alone?” Sakura prompts, going through a manual check up as per procedure with infants, instead of a deeper more invasive diagnostic jutsu.

Shikako tells her the whole story, though there isn’t much to it beyond: yes, I found a baby in a scroll in the ruins of a fallen village.

“I think the seal was meant to transport injured patients more easily–combine storage and stasis, get the best of both and neither of the flaws. And I guess when Uzushio was attacked, whoever was working on the scroll thought his best bet for survival was to just…”

“Seal him away and leave him in a locked lab for decades?” Sakura says, tone harsh and biting, but hands so gentle on the baby. “Who does that?”

“They probably meant to come back for him. Or they thought someone else would be able to sense the chakra pulse,” Shikako demurs, and once Sakura is done, pulls the baby back to her body.

To wake up in a world so unlike your own, with all your loved ones dead and gone. It’s not the same, he won’t even remember it, but still. He was found, eventually; he’s alive.

“What’s his name?” Sakura asks, as she fills out the forms necessary to start a new medical record.

Shikako looks up from her haphazard attempt at a clapping game with the baby. “I couldn’t find anything in the lab,” she says with a shrug. And she had looked, thoroughly.

“Then what do you want to name him?” Sakura says, practical as ever.

“Me?” Shikako asks, bewildered.

“You did find him,” she points out, which, true, “Which means you’re his guardian now,” which, okay makes sense, but–

“He’s probably an Uzumaki,” Shikako says because a red head in Uzushio couldn’t be anything else.

Sakura stares at her, almost disbelieving, “Shikako. His next of kin is Naruto,” she says slowly. Because, yes, Naruto is the ninja messiah but that doesn’t mean anyone should trust him with a baby.

“I’ll… think of something…” Shikako hedges, instead of answering.

Even if she’d be better than Naruto with a baby, that doesn’t make her a good choice. Just not as terrible.

Her first instinct, after leaving the hospital, is to bring the baby home immediately and hope her mom takes one look at his, admittedly, adorable face and decides that Shikako cannot be in charge of this small human.

Unfortunately, she is spotted en route.

“Shikako!” Naruto calls out from across behind her, and she can feel the shining presence of his chakra making a beeline for her, the warm embers of Sasuke’s following after.

Naruto talks to her, even as he approaches, loud enough to be heard over the decreasing distance, “One of the gate guards told me you were back, but when I told Sasuke he didn’t believe me, which means he owes me so much ramen and–” he stops, stunned, mouth flapping silently when he sees what’s in her arms.

“Is that a baby?” Sasuke says suspiciously, as if, perhaps, it weren’t a baby at all but a bomb.

“Wow, Sasuke,” Shikako says dryly, “the Sharingan really works wonders for your observational skills.”

He glares, but it’s half-hearted at best.

“You have a baby?” Naruto asks, finally, “Is it your baby? Is it Gaara’s baby?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” she complains.

Sasuke takes his chance, “Maybe you need a Sharingan yourself.”

She should have expected that, she practically gift-wrapped it for him.

She answers Naruto’s questions: “Yes, this is a baby. Yes, it’s sort of my baby. No, it’s not Gaara’s.” She sighs and turns the baby around in her arms, so that he can face her teammates.

“Naruto, meet your cousin. Kareru Uzumaki.”

~

A/N2: Guess that name reference! 😀

Sorry, the first part I got overwhelmed by my Uzushio Feels (which is why I have an entire tag for Uzushio) and it kind of influenced the tone for the rest of the fic…

So the fifteen for the title are the Konoha Twelve plus Sakura plus Kakashi plus Kareru. Like, I know if this were to really happen, the Nara Clan would probably adopt the baby so that Shikako doesn’t have to juggle being Konoha’s Fuinjutsu Master and suddenly being a teen mom. Buuuuuut, uh, that’s not the direction that would fill the prompt.

So I brainstormed by recording myself ranting as I drove to work. If anyone’s interested at all in hearing it–warning: I cuss frequently, also it might be “spoilers” for the upcoming installments but really it’s just me trying to figure out how each person would react to sudden baby–you can check it out here. (Don’t I sound so graceful and intelligent?)

Really love your Shikako/Gaara stuff :) On a world-building(ish) note, if I had to guess why Temari’s marriage was accepted by Suna despite causing inheritance problems I would say it had a little to do with Gaara’s approval, the fact the Konoha was the dominant power, and the fact the the Nara owned farms. A steady, fairly priced source of food has got to be pretty important in the desert even if only as a “for emergencies” option.

1) Thanks, anon 🙂

2) Gaara’s approval and Konoha’s dominance I kinda figured, as well as Temari probably straight up saying she’d marry that lazy, sleepy-eyed weirdo and no group of heckling old men could tell her no. But I never considered that last one–the Nara owned farms–and that’s a fantastic point!

I guess I had been thinking about Temari and Shikamaru’s marriage as a political matter only on the most shallow of levels (I am a little bit ashamed; my sisters would laugh, I am always ranting about political ramifications whenever we watch movies that have princesses/princes getting married).

Because it’s canon (or at least DoS canon) that the clans have holdings/businesses outside of Konoha itself. And while the Nara might not necessarily have farms for foodstuffs, you know the Akimichi definitely do, and probably all three clans function as a single unit (you marry one of them, you marry all of them :P).

I guess given the importance of both Temari and Shikamaru to their respective villages, there would be massive bride price/dowry exchanges. Probably trade agreements, food from the Nara/Akimichi/Yamanaka and… hm… maybe considering those clans are pretty big in pharmaceuticals they’d get glassware from Suna (this is from PolarPanther’s Against the Odds Ch14, which is a fantastic HPxNaruto crossover fic and the only complaint I have is that updates are veeeeeeeery slow) which they probably have given their expertise in poisons. Or maybe they more directly trade for poisons (so that the Nara and Yamanaka can develop cures and sell them to the Konoha hospital).

And since there’s a steady exchange of food and other goods, it’ll need a steady supply of shinobi to deliver/protect that trade. Which, you know, Suna really would appreciate.

My headcanon for the Kazekage line thing was that it wasn’t actually law – the hat had passed through the family because they were actually the most powerful. However precedence combined with Gaara and siblings popularity made the elders worry that the people of Wind, if not the people of Suna, would demand the bloodline continue which could put them in a bind but gave them no legal standing to make demands about Shikadai.

jacksgreysays:

jacksgreysays:

[regarding the second Author’s Notes of Dreaming of S(elfishness)]

That does sound a lot more practical than what I understood of it. Like, I thought it was a weird monarchy-esque divine right sort of thing. Which is also why Gaara was made the jinchuuriki as opposed to a random baby–it wasn’t a “this is most convenient” + “if I can’t sacrifice my own child what right do I have to ask someone else to do so” like with Minato–because with Gaara it was planned. So they could have put it in a different baby, but I suppose only their bloodline is “strong enough”

And then Temari’s choice to marry Shikamaru and live in Konoha was kinda the equivalent of abdicating? Not that eldest child is first in line or anything but that between her and Kankurou, if anything should happen to Gaara, she’d be the best suited to be Kazekage, since she is more powerful than him. And then kinda in that line, her children–even one born into the Nara clan–would probably be stronger than any of Kankurou’s children?

Or something like that.

Part of me kind likes the idea that Sunagakure is designed more like a monarchy? Because the villages having different laws of succession just seems really interesting to me–the villages probably weren’t created the same way, you know? Like while Konoha was essentially a giant alliance of Fire Nation clans so as not to continuously kill each other, I kinda figure Kiri has always been more cutthroat. Because you have to be pretty damn fearsome to get multiple islands to listen to you rather than each individual island having their own mini-village. Or, in contrast, my headcanon for Uzushio is that it was basically like a university and each island had a specialty and the Uzumaki were basically the only ones who were generalist enough to be objective leaders.

With Suna I kind of imagine that it was originally an oasis that the Sabaku siblings’ ancestors controlled with a (literal) iron fist and that’s why they reign. Obey me and my descendants and you have access to our water. And then the village formed and even though the water disappeared by that point it just became obey me because I am powerful…

Sorry for ranting, anon. ~WORLD-BUILDING IS GREAT~

image

Well it is canon that the Wind Daimyo and Suna haven’t exactly been on good terms–what if there’s a historical reason for that? Like, they’ve just never been on good terms as much as reluctantly cooperative terms. Maybe the Wind Daimyo’s Court was grown around a second oasis–one whose owners used business and trade rather than raw power to cultivate their control and eventually turn into the nobles. They’re not fully rivals–because merchants need protectors and soldiers need supplies–but they don’t particularly like each other. And as soon as the Daimyo could drop Suna and switch to a different, cheaper source of protection they did so–hence the economic struggles leading to the attack during the Konoha Chuunin Exams.

The Gaara thing was, well, Shukaku wasn’t transferred from jinchuuriki to jinchuuriki–he was sealed in some item (a giant kettle?) and then sealed into the not-yet-born Gaara through his mother’s womb (which… what). According to the Naruto wiki the Kazekage just wanted a jinchuuriki to make the village powerful and couldn’t use Temari and Kankurou because they weren’t compatible. I don’t know how he decided Gaara was, or if they just went ahead with it regardless, but :/

Konoha I feel like there’s not really an immediate equivalent that comes to mind because the hat wasn’t really limited to certain families. Like, the Yondaime was basically one step up from being a nameless orphan–as opposed to the many clans of Konoha who never had a member become Hokage. I mean, the Senju aren’t even one of the Noble clans of Konoha (Aburame, Akimichi, Hyuuga, and Uchiha) but they’ve had three Hokage while the others have had none.

But, yeah, for the others I totes agree. I also really like your Kumo idea that it’s a straight forward challenge for leadership, or, at the very least, it’s a very out in the open transition from leader to leader so theoretically other people could step up and make an attempt but probably don’t because there’s already an obvious contender in mind (apparently all of the Raikage are named A? And according to the wiki the Nidaime Raikage was the Shodaime’s guard… although the Yondaime was the Sandaime’s son so…). Iwa probably thinks the Sandaime has made a golem of himself which isn’t exactly a problem, since literally no one else is old enough to know what it’s like to not live under his rule, but it’s also very creepy.

image

I always figured that it was just the current Hokage kinda pointing and being like–that one, that’s the one who get’s my job. Then again, after the Sandaime died, the council did try to make Jiraiya into Godaime (and only accepted his rejection when he threw Tsunade under the bus… in a kind way). And that sort of explains why Danzo didn’t just swoop in and take the hat for his own.

I also now headcanon that it was the Uchiha clan that were most vocal against Danzo being Hokage (despite or, maybe, because an Uchiha was Danzo’s teammate?) and so the massacre was revenge–in a dish best served cold kind of manner.

I wouldn’t say Suna has only one major bloodlimit–we probably just haven seen them due to the Konoha-centricity of canon–but it is probable that the Metal/Sand manipulation is the most outrightly powerful. I mean, arguably, the Byakugan isn’t an offensive bloodlimit–it’s just really good at seeing things. Even the non-Mangekyou versions of Sharingan are passive abilities–copying jutsu and seeing chakra and maaaybe augmenting genjutsu. Actually, except for the Senju’s Wood Release (which basically went extinct) the most offensive bloodlimit in Konoha is… the Akimichi Multi-Size ability, I think?

Anyway, the other bloodlimits of Suna are probably very passive or not all that helpful outside a desert. 

I kinda like the idea of Minato full on having basically popped out of nowhere. I mean, not literally, but him being total civilian stock and outstripping all of his peers not because he’s stronger or faster or has more chakra or a bloodlimit, but because he was such a goddamned genius and he worked hella hard. His claim to fame was the Hiraishin–which arguably anyone could use if the could just understand how the hell he did it. It’s not constrained by his bloodline or ridiculous amounts of chakra, just no one can figure it out. (Fingers still crossed for TenTen, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up).

And it also makes Orochimaru being passed up for Hokage all the more cutting–because basically the only thing different between Orochimaru and Minato is that Minato had a conscience.