A/N1: The rest is under the cut because it has cussing and also mentions things which, while not necessarily nsfw, also isn’t for kids and since Voltron is a kids show… well. Better safe than sorry, right?
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As soon as their lions land in their respective hangars, both Lance and Keith are racing for the kitchen. When they meet up in the hallway, they start shoving at each other, trying to trip up the other, even as they both try to get their first.
It doesn’t matter that they are officially boyfriends and have been for a year–rivals is forever, apparently.
Keith gets to the kitchen first, technically, but Lance has longer arms and no sense of propriety, so he’s the one that gets the apple.
Yeah, all this for an apple.
Lance crows triumphantly then immediately licks it, holding it up and declaring, “Ha! I’ve licked it so therefore it’s mine.” Because even though they’ve been in space and defending the universe for four years, Lance is actually a six year old brat at heart.
While Shiro explains to Allura and Coran that licking things isn’t actually how property is legally claimed on Earth, Keith just reaches over, snatches the apple and bites into it.
“Dude!” Lance says, protesting against the clear violation of the most sacred iteration of dibs.
Keith just looks confused, even as he munches away at his ill-gotten gains.
“You can’t just eat something I’ve licked,” Lance tries to explain because Keith lived in a shack in the desert by himself and not everyone had a billion and a half siblings and cousins to teach them the ways of society.
Keith still looks confused, “I’ve had your tongue in my mouth,” he says, then pauses, considering, “I’ve also had your dick in my mouth,” he adds and doesn’t blush at all, even though Lance’s face turns as red as Keith’s lion, because sometimes Keith has zero shame about the weirdest things.
Shiro face palms because Lance’s inappropriateness is predictable–Keith’s is not. Thankfully, neither of the Alteans ask about that.
Whoa,“ Hunk says, as he and Pidge enter the kitchen, putting down the box he’s carrying and belatedly covering Pidge’s ears, "watch your language. There are children around,” he hisses at a volume that makes covering Pidge’s ears moot. Which makes sense, seeing as how he’s really just being a troll.
Pidge rolls their eyes and shrugs him off with a lot more elbows than he thinks is necessary, “Fuck off,” they say which is pretty mild all things considered. “It wasn’t funny when I was fourteen and it’s not funny now. Also, you dumbasses, we have, like, a hundred more apples.” Adding their box of apples next to Hunk’s on the counter, doesn’t quite make it a hundred. But seeing as the “grow Earth plants in the castle” is a joint project between Hunk and Pidge and the Green Lion, they would know.
“It’s the principle of the matter!” Lance says, once his embarrassment has run its course. But he still reaches over to snag another apple for himself, then sidles over to Keith and kind of drapes himself over him.
So, basically, all is forgiven.
~
A/N2: I had the most innocuous yet weird dream, got dragged to a birthday party for someone I don’t know, and sat awkwardly in a corner for hours with my phone. This is what happened.
JackSGreyson Says 