Fake Fic Summaries 4/? (2015-07-22)

1) “Due to a series of events not nearly as wacky as expected, Darcy has a legion of various superheroes and villains at her beck and call.

Or, because Darcy technically bested Thor in combat, and Thor has yet to challenge her to a rematch, he and all those he has defeated are Darcy’s thralls by right of conquest.”

Well, originally, it was going to be just Loki as basically Darcy’s disgruntled djinn-like figure. But then I had problems figuring out why it would just be Loki and not Thor or other people Thor have defeated. So then I figured, well, the situation is ludicrous enough that why should I try to minimize it to just Loki. Go all the way!

I figured it would start small. Like, for example, Darcy may just be randomly walking around outside and Loki’s doing some crazy over the top plan, but right as Darcy’s even mildly endangered–Loki, being able to teleport, appears before her and rescues her. Then bristles and runs away. And it escalates. The Doom-bots avoid her for some reason, even when she’s the easiest/best target. Etc. etc.

If someone can figure out a Loki-only variant I would love to read that, too.

2) “According to Nate, Hardison dies in plans C, F, and M through Q. Eliot dies in none. Parker dies in none. Sophie dies in none, though that is subject to change.

How many plans does Nate die in?”

So I was watching Leverage on Netflix, as one does. The series is lovely, but strangely not very conducive to long fic. So, short fic it is.

Anyway, in episode 4×10 “The Queen’s Gambit Job” at the end, Nate literally says that Hardison (usually) dies in seven plans. And it’s played off as comedic, but my first instinct was to flinch. Because… why Hardison and none of the others?

But then I realized, Nate didn’t say how many he died in. And, probably, it’s because he died in a lot more of them. So Hardison dying frequently is due in part because of how similar he is to Nate–for the other three, being a criminal was a matter of survival (well, I’m guessing for Sophie). But for Nate and Hardison, they became criminals because they were good at it. So their priority isn’t always to survive, it’s to make sure the plan/team survives. Hence the multiple deaths for Hardison. And Nate.

So I guess the fic would be one of those… multiple bad ending formats. Sort of like:

“Plan A fails two hours in, when Nate underestimates the mark’s proclivity for gambling. Instead of falling for Sophie’s charms, he ignores her to stay in the poker tournament.

At the close of the day, Elliot, Nate, and Sophie’s covers have all been burned. There goes plans B, D, E, and K.

Time to move on to Plan C…

Parker is wearing a dress and no harness but she has to get out now so she jumps. She falls six stories. She breaks a leg, but survives, and hobbles out of the building just as the bomb goes off. She cries, not from pain, but because Hardison was still in the server room…

Unacceptable.

Plan G–but in Plan G, Sophie gets arrested. Extradition orders get tangled up, so she languishes in maximum security prison. There is no team to break her out because Elliot is in the hospital, Parker is in the wind, Hardison has also been arrested, and Nate is dead.

Try again.”

Y’know… something like that.

~

A/N: I’m so fond of the fake fic summaries series. It allows me to express plot bunnies which I don’t really want to pursue but would take up brain space if I don’t articulate them somehow.