as for a title how about something like: You can only hold a smile for so long (after that it’s just teeth)

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Monster Smiles (blood in my teeth)

Loyalty, teamwork, and the Will of Fire–all just pretty words to hide the truth:

The foundation of Konoha’s strength is child soldiers.

And some children are stronger than others.

Mashing up your title offerings since they’re both kind of long but I did like their vibes. So for your prompt in which child genius shinobi reluctantly (or sarcastically?) say “I require an adult” I’m thinking an anthology of various adults of the Naruto world during their time as frighteningly deadly children.

And I know you suggested Kakashi, Itachi, and Tenzo, but technically–seeing as how average graduation age is twelve (in peacetime, nine(?) during war)–all shinobi were child soldiers at some point.

I’d definitely want a scene of basically the Worst Night of Young Shizune’s Life. Because even though she can kill or heal a person in over a dozen ways, life outside of Konoha with Tsunade has a lot less to do with fighting or healing and more to do with finding her shishou in sleazy bars or avoiding debt collectors. Which is made more difficult when, according to civilian standards, she is too young to enter either establishments.

I imagine there’s a lot of Tsunade drunken shenanigans and Shizune having to outmaneuver these DUMB CIVILIAN LAWS and she ends up maybe breaking up an illegal animal fighting ring? And she finds TonTon who was SUPPOSED to be the reward for two dogs (bears?) but is now Shizune’s pet. Basically, the story of why the honorable Godaime Hokage and her first apprentice are banned from one city in particular for eternity.

I would like a section for… aw, I’m already making myself sad… Aoba. Because can you imagine how much of a chatterbox Gossip King Aoba must have been as a child? Just. The most talkative child, so nosy and curious and NO AOBA DON’T TOUCH THAT. (He probably had a saint of a jounin sensei, let’s be real.)

I think maybe his path to Cryptography started early on. He’d play the part of lost child to infiltrate the place, memorize the layout and guard rotations of the place, and for all that he’s annoying he’s also weirdly endearing? Aaaaand then it turns out he’s the vanguard for the REAL mission which may or may not include burglary at the least all the way up to assassination.

Hm… who else would I want to do…

I have a vague horrific idea about Ibiki’s first encounter with torture. He is heartbreakingly young and the last living member of his team but he keeps quiet, keeps his village safe, and manages to gain some counterintelligence while escaping by the skin of his teeth. He crawls his way back to Konoha/the nearest war outpost (because this is probably wartime right?) and is just like. Super professional but bleeding out “I need to speak to the commanding officer,” aka an adult. And everyone’s trying to usher him to the healing tent and he’s just like, no way I have to give a report, my team died and I got tortured for a week, I can handle a few more hours of dying this information is important.

Uh. But yeah, that’d be it. Riding that line between childhood hijinks and the dawning horror of what shinobi childhoods are actually like. 😀

Ask Box Three Sentence Fic, 10/? (2016-11-04)

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(1 – anonymous – even more 3.4, Shikako/Gaara, modern royalty!AU, family POV)

Theirs is not a family of soft gestures and kind words, as harsh and imposing as the desert they rule over–but Temari is queen now, and while her future is irrevocably tied to her country, that doesn’t mean her brothers’ must be as well.

“You won’t get the throne,” she says, fact more than prediction, nearly ringing with decree; Gaara looks at her with barely concealed hope.

“Do as you will,” she finishes, permission and blessing, as close to kindness as their family can get.

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(2 – anonymous – Shikako/Shino, rescue mission)

He has been held prisoner for four days: his hive has been depleted, he has had minimal food, water, and sleep, and his left arm is still broken–the situation is less than optimal.

A small spider crawling beneath his cell door is all the warning he gets before an explosion reverberates through the facility, sounds of fighting and screaming following not long after, the spider making its calm but swift pace towards him.

Another, smaller, closer explosion breaks open his door revealing Shikako and his younger sister’s team, “I told you I’d come back for you.”

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(3 – anonymous – Shikako, collective realization of butt-kicking ability)

It’s one thing for Shikako to put up a fight against Gaara who is, despite being a jinchuuriki and now the Kazekage, still a kid their age.

It’s another thing for her to take on a Sannin.

“Brats these days take things so seriously, it wasn’t a real challenge,” Jiraiya grouses, though the pride in his eyes could not be more obvious: he didn’t lose, and Shikako’s been sequestered in the hospital for chakra depletion again, but it was a damn near thing.

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(4 – anonymous – Shikako, haggled advice giver!AU?)

“You probably shouldn’t do… any of this,” Shikako says, bewildered, eyeing Aoba and gingerly picking through the pile of detailed notes he dropped on her desk.

“Not even the pathway of flower petals?”

“That sounds expensive,” she answers, “and excessive considering this is only your second date… also… I’m thirteen–why are you asking me for dating advice?”

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(5 – anonymous – Shikako & ??, … preceding reputation?)

“Oh, no,” Kakashi-sensei says completely deadpan, as he leans casually against a barrel of sake “my cute student has gone missing; none of her adoring fans can find her.”

From inside the barrel comes the muffled response, “You’d hide, too, with fans like that.”

“Lucky for this talking sake, my cute student is not on duty for another two hours,” Kakashi-sensei knocks on the barrel twice before wandering back out to the party, gearing up to deal with his own horde of fans.

~

A/N: While I love the enthusiasm of some of these prompts and appreciate getting prompts at all, if I could request them to be in this format–

“Character and/or Ship, AU or canon!DoS, theme/event/idea less than ten words”

–then that would be great. I don’t want to police it too much, but it’s kind of difficult to parse what some of the prompts are saying.

Post Word Count: 404, Running Word Count: 1443

Could you do a ShikakoxKakashi that is completely accidental? Like somehow, out of no where, Shikako seemed very pretty? And Kakashi’s horrible habits somehow become endearing and charming? And it’s all very WTF on both sides?

I don’t sh– hm… well… I mean, I guess if it’s–but they– hm…

HMMMM…

Okay, so I am a multi-shipper at heart and, unrelated, I am always fascinated in trying to mesh two different fandoms into a cohesive crossover/fusion. So it’s not entirely out of my interests to ponder how two people would function in a romantic relationship.

That being said, I’m also extremely wary of ships that have inherent problems–such as a teacher-student pair becoming lovers (long story short, I once played with fire and sort of shipped a thing which I knew going in was problematic, but didn’t realize until after I clawed my way out of the fandom just how problematic it was)

It’s not the age difference that bothers me (because, if I’m going to continue being candid, I’ve shipped things with bigger age gaps) but rather the power imbalance that a teacher-student relationship represents. Even if Shikako is no longer Kakashi’s student, being promoted to tokubetsu jounin, that’s still the basis which their relationship is built on–he’s teaching her kenjutsu and helping with her sensing, etc.

Like, not that I do ship it, but I’m less squicked with the idea of ShikakoxAoba than I am with ShikakoxKakashi, even though they’re the same age. Because Aoba, while taking a mentor-like role, is more of a “senpai” than a “sensei.” Yes, he helps her out and yes, he’s teaching her the way of an Intel ninja, and yes, she does follow his lead. But she could and has refused his orders (arguably, if you consider him asking about her missions as orders) and it’s a very finite mentorship–it’s more like on the job-training than an open-ended teaching of life skills like Kakashi. (Oh no, have I convinced myself to ship ShikakoxAoba?)

THAT BEING SAID, while I am reluctant to ship ShikakoxKakashi as they are in DoS canon, I am wondering at the possibility of shipping them in a AU/alternate dimension/time-travelling sort of situation.

Now that I ponder it in a non-DoS-canon context, I can immediately think of two ways to do it:

1) older!Shikako x canon!Kakashi (via diagonal dimension travel)

Shikako falls diagonally into a different Naruto dimension, possibly canon so she doesn’t exist, and preferably aged up enough to about… Anko/Shizune’s age, maybe? (A little like @ladyhallen’s DoS Switch) She doesn’t land in or anywhere near Konoha, but she does end up thankfully close to where Jiraiya currently is; a Jiraiya who is a month away from heading to Konoha because the Chuunin exams are going to be held there.

With some persistence and hella ridiculous amounts of fuinjutsu discussion, Jiraiya believes her and agrees to take her on as a sort of apprentice in order to stop all of the horrible shit that will otherwise go down without her there. So they get there, a little earlier than Jiraiya would have done by himself, and so Kakashi meets Jiraiya’s newest student–the woman who dared to take the place of his idolized sensei.

At first, they do not get along. Kakashi because he can be an immature jerk and Shikako because she has literally never been on the wrong side of Kakashi’s ire. But it does differentiate canon!Kakashi enough from her sensei DoS!Kakashi, that I don’t feel weird about shipping them (even though, at first, Shikako probably is greatly bewildered by these sorts of feelings for someone who is literally a carbon copy of her sensei). Obviously, Shikako shows how much of a total badass she is and saves a good chunk of Konoha lives in general, but his students’ lives in particular that Kakashi just kind of drops all of his hostility towards her.

And thus begins the weirdest courtship between two mostly apathetic people in existence.

2) Shikako x younger!Kakashi (via linear time travel)

Insert fuinjutsu experiment gone horribly awry, Shikako ends up back in time. Specifically, during the Third Shinobi World War. Even more specifically, when certain teenaged Konoha ninja are being attacked by adult Iwa ninja. Acting mostly on instinct, she saves them and only later realizes that she has greatly shifted the timeline by preventing a) Rin’s kidnapping, b) Kakashi’s eye injury, c) Obito’s almost-death… so on and so forth, Madara no longer has a convenient Uchiha body to do his bidding, and so no attack during the Naruto’s birth, no Kyuubi rampage, no Uchiha almost-coup and subsequent massacre, etc, etc.

But before that, all she knows is that she’s landed in the middle of a war and the only person she trusts is an asshole teenager who has no idea who she is.

Given her obvious Nara looks, and some more persistence+fuinjutsu discussion, and the fact that she saved his students’ lives Minato totally (re)instates her as a Konoha ninja, in particular as a fifth member of their team. Anyway, it’s actually more like the fourth member of the Kakashi+Obito+Rin team since, being the Yellow Flash and all, Minato is called away to missions completely out of his students’ league and most solid teams have four members.

Cue a bewildered and stranded-out-of-time Shikako interacting with Team Minato and there are definitely opportunities for shipping there.

(Although, I’d be a little concerned that it overlaps too much with @langwritesCatch Your Breath. Not that Shikako and Keisuke are the same, but rather if you want to read about an SI!OC kicking ass and taking names in the Kakashi Gaiden era, you really should be reading that. It’s great)

edit: i’m weak and began writing this idea in “Gambling Away The Past.” it may turn into a series–i don’t know.

There are probably many more, but those two are the ones that spring to mind right now as ways I would be comfortable in even trying. I know this doesn’t really fill your prompt, but I don’t think I can do a proper one–both the ideas above are pretty big fic as I imagine them, and I don’t quite have the chops to pull either one of them off yet :/

However, if anyone else would like to adopt one of the ideas and run with it (or even further discuss what these potential fic would entail) then I would be more than happy to help out with that. I love brainstorming fic and would honestly be happy to see anon’s prompt get filled by someone, even if that person is not me.