some headcanons about the Remember to Sleep AU? thanks!

Well, I already kind of brainstormed this particular headcanon during the slew of Q&A for Remember to Sleep ‘verse, but I didn’t actually WRITE it in prose form so… enjoy, anon!

~

A private detective doesn’t walk anywhere. They slink and sidle and cruise around, or maybe they wander or stumble into a case, or, maybe, they’re running from something.

This is very much so a fleeing for one’s life situation, Kakashi thinks, ducking behind a parked car just in time to hear a bullet whizz overhead. Ah, scorned spouses, they never want to hear they’re being cheated on and yet they always hire him to get the proof. It’s not like he takes skeezy, voyeuristic photos for his own enjoyment.

That’s what his Icha Icha collection is for.

More whistling sounds, more shots, and Kakashi sighs. Lazily, he tracks the bullet paths with his eye, the trajectories as clear as if every bullet had a bright red ribbon tied to it.

Most of them end up bouncing uselessly against a dumpster, some cars, the concrete walls–gun possession clearly does not equal marksmanship–but one of them flies true and straight, out of the alley and into the street.

For a moment, Kakashi thinks it’ll be fine–the mouth of the alley is empty, it’ll strike the building across the way–except someone walks into the projected path. A young woman, smiling, looking at the person behind her, braid of brown hair a different shade entirely from Rin’s. And yet.

Even if Kakashi wanted to call out a warning, it’d be too slow–his eye can see at super speed, but his body can’t always react the same. His voice chokes up, anyway.

He’s going to watch this young woman struck down and it’s his fault.

(It’s always his fault)

A hand darts out, impossibly fast. Inhumanly fast. In between the path of the bullet and the young woman’s head.

Instead of puncturing through, just another flimsy layer of flesh and blood before ending a life, the bullet crumples–crashing headlong into an unmovable object–before falling harmlessly to the sidewalk in a tinny clink.

The young woman (not Rin not Rin, still alive, not Rin) turns around, tugs the hand and the person attached forward, away from the mouth of the alley–not that there are anymore bullets flying–and Kakashi sees him.

Minato-sensei.

But not.

(Not sensei, not sensei, impossibly alive, not sensei)

There’s a blonde man with a bulletproof hand and inhumanly fast reflexes walking around with a striking likeness to his dead sensei.

If ever Kakashi being a private detective was meant for something, it would be this.

~

A/N: written and posted from my phone, so not formatted, but still good yeah?

Anyway, I think I’m getting better at writing Kakashi? Or, at least, vastly AU versions of him…

Check out the Ask Box Author’s Cut event!

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