Sounds like a kind of sensory overload; everything too loud, too bright, too scratchy, too hot, too everything. And music blocks out noises, and rythmic tapping/stimming behaviour gives your senses something predictable to focus on instead. A kind of peace, as is evenly filtered light, coolness, and rain that takes away excessive smells, even if your nose wasn’t the main thing bothered,

Oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way.

I kind of figured it was “reverse” seasonal affective disorder (or a reaction to everyone else recovering from their seasonal affective disorders and me being a dick and getting irritated at their rising spirits), but breaking everything down like that is pretty smart.

I was so exhausted from the day before yesterday that I literally slept for fourteen hours and didn’t find it weird to just spend the rest of the day in bed, and I feel so much better. I think it’s because, as you said, I could control everything–keep the lights to my level, the sound to my level, and there’s less dust and pollen or whatever in the air because I’m indoors instead of out on deliveries. And, also, no other people, so…