Friendship Is A (Mutual) Con, a Team Seven ficlet (2016-11-16)

When asked, Nara stares blankly at them, silent and unimpressed, Uzumaki laughs, grin wide and sharp, while Uchiha closes his eyes as if their questions were of no concern.

Hatake is the only one that talks, but they almost wish he had kept his mouth shut instead.

After all, when trying to confirm the number of enemies, hearing a noncommittal answer is less than reassuring.

“There are only four Lucky Sevens,” one of the captors say, brash and absolutely wrong.

Kakashi smiles, pointedly–somehow still obvious through the mask they’ve oddly let him keep–enough that the man notices and stutters out, “A-aren’t there?”

“Well, if you say so, the other three must not be very lucky then.”

“Their comms have been destroyed,” Sai says bluntly, smile on his face; he once read that smiling could help soften bad news.

Yamato sighs, face palming, while Sakura barely resists doing the same–she’s only here to temporarily help the team, auxiliary member only, and yet…

Once this matter is cleared up, she promises to never complain about Anko-sensei’s choice of jobs again.

Their jailers are not so stupid as to keep them in the same cells, but that doesn’t make very much difference.

There’s a pipe running along the corner of Shikako’s cell, up and through the wall–she doesn’t have her gear with her, but demolition isn’t the goal right now.

The clinking of handcuffs against the pipe is answered with more clinking from beyond the wall.

Sakura is more used to following after Anko-sensei’s trail of destruction, her students near invisible in comparison, or enjoying the absolute silence of Yakumo’s technological illusions.

Just walking up and talking her way into a place is not a method she’s comfortable with, but it appears to be working.

“I’m Agent Tenzo, this is my partner Sai, and our trainee,” Yamato says with way more confidence than she’s ever seen from him, “we’re here to follow up on the explosion on the docks.”

Naruto’s restraints are over the top–elbow to fingertips behind his back–they see his muscles, the breadth of his shoulders, and think he’s the fighter on the team.

They are wrong.

He snickers, even as he curls up and tears at the hem of his trousers with his teeth, lock pick at the ready.

Yamato looks around, steadily getting more worried and angry at what he sees:

The flaming wreckage of crates and warped metal of shipping containers aren’t a surprise, but there are bullet casings littering the grounds like shiny deadly confetti.

Kakashi-senpai doesn’t use guns, and neither does his team.

Sasuke knocks his handcuffs against the pipe in a repetitive sequence, resigned to waiting for one of his teammates to get him.

Normally, he’d be all for fighting his way out, even with his hands tied behind his back, but normally he doesn’t have a gunshot wound sending spikes of pain with every breath.

Well, better him than his teammates.

The comms have been destroyed, but that doesn’t mean the secret hidden trackers have.

Of course, Sai’s not supposed to have trackers on the team–Naruto has explained it’s a violation of privacy or something irrelevant like that–but this just proves him right.

With Yamato-taichou distracted by the authorities and Sakura by the blood on the ground, Sai takes out his tablet and finds the rest of the team.

Kakashi contemplates the nature of life, twirling his set of handcuffs around one finger and waiting patiently.

He could just break out and go find his adorable students on his own, but he’s meant to be a teacher now and how will they learn if he does everything for them?

He waits another twelve minutes and is rewarded by the sounds of gangsters screaming.

The three of them get to the warehouse district in time to hear screaming and gunfire and, unsurprisingly, explosions.

The local authorities are trailing after them by a good ten minutes, nowhere near as fearless behind the wheel as Sai–though Yamato and Sakura would prefer if he had a little bit more fear, clutching at the oh shit handles with white-knuckled hands–so they have until then to clear out their wayward teammates and frame the gangsters.

No problem.

~

A/N: Fill for this anon; I tried to do some kind of three sentence fic non-powered criminal!AU because this rant, but I didn’t flesh it out enough, I think, so it’s kinda…

Post Word Count: 697, Running Word Count: 5744

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