Untitled DCU drabble (2015-08-29)

“Hello,” says the woman standing outside of the front door. She is short and thin and perfectly normal. And yet, she has somehow slipped past all of the security around the manor, no alarms or sensors tripped, to ring the doorbell. It is only her sheer nonthreatening persona which prevents Alfred from pulling out his customary shotgun. As it is, the family is waiting in the wings to swoop down at the smallest hint of aggression.

“Hello, miss…” Alfred pauses, prompting for a name.

“Oh, yes, sorry. I’m Fiona Hill,” she says with a sheepish smile, “I need help finding my sister, Caroline.”

Behind him, Alfred can hear the confused murmurs from his charges. All but the one who knows Caroline Hill; the one who, in a way, was Caroline Hill. This is no doubt a matter which will prove quite interesting.

He opens the door of Wayne Manor more fully, “Please, come in, Miss Hill.”

The woman, Fiona Hill, sits in the drawing room, enjoys the tea set Alfred provides, and utterly fails to be remarkable. She is as bland as a person can be. Except for how she claims to be the sister of someone who doesn’t exist.

“Technically, we’re only half-sisters,” she says apologetically, as if that were the issue, “I’ve never even met her before, but my mother made sure to tell me her name and that she lives in Gotham. I was able to track down a paper trail, but it’s fairly sporadic and some of it is contradictory then it just disappears. I’m worried,” she sighs, before taking a careful sip from her teacup.

“Why is it that you came here for help?” Alfred asks, “Surely the police or even a private detective would be better.”

Skeptically, she responds, “Better than Batman?”

“I understand you may want to run some tests,” Fiona says, as Alfred escorts her calmly but sternly to the door, “So in addition to the fingerprints and DNA on the teacup, I’ve also prepared more comprehensive samples,” she reaches into her bag and brings out a small plastic box with several compartments. In each compartment is a small vial or a plastic bag, neatly labelled.

It is a forensic scientist’s dream.

It is also unnecessary.

The teacup is enough for them to run tests on. The DNA comes up with two in-system matches. The first is Tim, the actual person behind Caroline Hill. It makes sense, since it does match her claims, but it is still surprising.

The second is both surprising and unbelievable.

The second is the Joker.


A/N: Tbh, I have no idea wtf this is. Like… what? I dunno. I’ve just been reading some of heartslogos’ (absolutely fantastic) works on ao3 and I guess my brain is a little bit caught in the DCU. This set of scenes wouldn’t leave me alone the whole day so I figured I ought to write it down and get it out of my system.

Doing some routine maintenance of the plot bunnies, so probably the next couple of days are going to be bouncing around fandoms and unrelated.

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